Lifetime Film Review: Instakiller (dir by Craig Goldstein)


In a Lifetime film, the value of social media often depends on what time of year the film is taking place.

If it’s a Christmas film, social media is an amazingly helpful tool that helps single young women meet handsome carpenters and which also allows them to keep tabs on whether or not their hometown is going to be able to afford to put on the annual nativity pageant.  Want to find the perfect Santa Claus?  Well, just hop on Facebook and look up Kris Kringle!  Want to discover that, because of a snow storm, you’re going to have to spend the Holidays in a Christmas-themed inn?  Just check on twitter!

Of course, any other time of year, social media is portrayed as being the tool of the Devil.  Social media is how con artists steal identities and how psychotic children track down their birth mothers.  Social media is how lies are spread and how revenge porn pics are sent to everyone on Sunday morning and how stalkers can keep track of your every move.  With the exception of the films that air during Christmas, Lifetime spends most of the year telling us that we all need to get off the grid and consider learning more about the Luddites.  Perhaps we should all go to a religious retreat in the French wine country.  That’s something that my sister Erin and I have often discussed doing.  I don’t drink wine but I do speak French.  She doesn’t speak French but she does drink wine.  A year living offline, we’d make it work and, by the standards of Lifetime, we would both be a lot safer.

Take Instakiller, for instance.  Harper (Lizze Broadway) is an aspiring fashion designer and influencer and her account on …. wait for it …. Instapixer (!) has suddenly become very popular.  (One thing that I always enjoy about these Lifetime films is seeing the names that they come up with for the movie’s version of real-life social media companies.  Degrassi featured two of my favorites, Facerange and MyRoom.)  Unfortunately, Harper also has a stalker.  He sends her creepy messages.  He follows her as she walks home from school and takes pictures.  (When confronted by a bystander, he smashes the man’s face into a car hood.)  When Harper’s mom, Layla (Kelly Sullivan), forces Harper to delete her account, the stalker sits in his car and screams.  Soon, the stalker is attacking people with golf clubs and strangling them with jumper cables.

Who is Harper’s stalker?  Could it be one of the customers at her family’s coffee shop?  Could it be one of Harper’s coworkers or even one of her friends?  There’s one obvious suspect but he’s so obvious that you know from the minute he shows that he’s going to turn out to be geeky but not dangerous.  To be honest, the identity of Harper’s stalker is not that shocking, just because there aren’t that many suspects.  Once you dismiss all of the obvious red herrings, there’s really only one possible suspect left.

But no matter!  Instakiller is an entertaining Lifetime film, which is to say that if you enjoy Lifetime films, you’ll probably enjoy this one.  Kelly Sullivan and Lizze Broadway are believable as mother-and-daughter and I imagine that a lot of moms will watch this movie and find themselves totally relating to Sullivan’s character and her confusion as to why Harper is willing to put her life in danger just to have an Instapixer account.  Seriously, though, once you hit a thousand followers, the risks are totally worth it….

Adventures in Cleaning Out the DVR: 16 and Missing (dir by Michael Feifer)


16-And-Missing

Continuing my efforts to clean out the DVR, I followed up A Teacher’s Obsession by watching 16 and Missing.  16 and Missing originally aired on the Lifetime network on October 24th.  On that particularly Saturday, I was haunting a Halloween party (booooo!), so I set the DVR to record it.

In many ways, 16 and Missing is a quintessential Lifetime film.  It’s about a rebellious teenage girl who has a loving (and underappreciated) mother and a stepfather who is trying way too hard to serve as a replacement patriarchal figure.  It also features an initially charming man who later turns out to be a complete psycho.  There’s a lot of driving, an important life lesson, and a lot of gunplay.  At the end of the movie, the mother is proven right and everyone hugs and strangely enough, nobody seems to be all that traumatized by all of the truly terrible things that have just happened to them.  None of that, by the way, is meant to be a criticism.  Lifetime movies are a genre all their own and part of the fun comes from their familiarity.

16 and Missing also deals with a common Lifetime movie theme — i.e., that the internet is an evil place that exists only to lead teenage girls astray.  In this case, spoiled rotten Abbey (Lizze Broadway) has been using her social media accounts to carry on a two-year, online affair Gavin (Mark Hupka), who claims to be a 23 year-old cop.  After Abbey has a fight with her mother, former FBI agent Julia (Ashley Scott), Abbey decides to run away from home.  She sneaks out of the house, gets in her car, and drives off to Arizona…

And what immediately bothered me was the fact that Abbey didn’t pack anything before she ran way.  Admittedly, this probably says more about me than the movie.  I’m just saying that if I had ever run away from home and headed for a different state, I would have brought along a change of clothes.

But anyway, Abbey meets up with Gavin and is shocked to discover that Gavin is a little bit older than 23.  And he might not be a cop.  And his name might actually be Wesley.  And, as soon as she shows up, Gavin/Wesley immediately starts pressuring her to have sex…

Okay, so it’s pretty obvious that Gavin/Wesley wasn’t everything that he said he was and, to the film’s credit, Abbey quickly figures this out.  As opposed to a lot of similar Lifetime films (in which the teenage girl is always presented as being far too naive to be believable), 16 and Missing makes it clear that Abbey is a girl who made an impulsive mistake, who understands that she made an impulsive mistake, but who has now found herself trapped by that impulsive mistake.

However, Abbey and Wes-Gavin do have one thing in common.  They both lost their fathers in the most violent and disturbing ways possible.  Gavin’s father was a cop and Gavin claims that he was shot in the head by his partner.  Abbey’s father was abducted and murdered while a 6 year-old Abbey helplessly watched.  Could the two events be connected?  It wouldn’t be a Lifetime film if they weren’t.

But don’t worry!  After breaking into her daughter’s social media accounts, Julia is on the road to Arizona and she’s got a gun…

Anyway, 16 and Missing was an entertaining Lifetime film.  If you’re into Lifetime films, especially ones that present the internet as being the root of all evil, you should enjoy this one.  And if you’re not into Lifetime movies, you probably wouldn’t be watching in the first place.