Lifetime Film Review: Desperate Widows (dir by Lane Shefter Bishop)

Posted on May 20, 2021 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Some people are cult people and some people aren’t.

Me, I’ve never been a cult person. Some of that’s because, as a result of my ADD, I get bored way too easily to spend hours listening to some deranged cult leader give a speech. Some of that is because I’m naturally suspicious of people who try too hard to convince me that they’re always happy and excited and enthusiastic, which is something that I’ve noticed people in cults seem to do. I’m a big believer in doing what you want. I’m also a big believer in the idea that I already know all the answers to life’s big questions so I’m really not vulnerable to people who claim otherwise. That’s one of the many advantages of believing in yourself.

Another reason why I could never join a cult is because I hate the idea of living on a commune. The whole idea of being forced to create a community with a bunch of strangers just creeps me out. Add to that, I’m not a fan of living in impersonal dorms and I don’t really like doing farmwork and I’m not into sing-alongs around the campfire. I certainly don’t like camping and or living in buildings that don’t have any running water. Commune living is just not for me and fortunately, that will always make me immune to being brainwashed into joining a cult.

In the Lifetime film Desperate Widows, Dianne (Allison McAtee) insists that she doesn’t run a commune. Sure, it may look like a commune and it may have a lot of commune-style rules and everyone acts like they’re living on a commune but Dianne insists that she actually runs a …. wait for it …. a mommune! It’s a retreat for moms and their daughters, one that is especially popular with moms who have just lost a husband. It can do wonderful things for people, just as long as everyone’s willing to follow the rules. For one thing, the moms and daughters are separated and sent to live in separate dorms. For another thing, everyone has to do manual labor for most of the day and anyone who fails to take it seriously will run the risk of being put in isolation.

BUT IT’S TOTALLY NOT A COMMUNE!

As soon as recently widowed Paige (Justine Eyre) and her teenage daughter, Allie (Olivia Stuck) arrive at the comm …. sorry, excuse me …. mommune, they suspect that there’s something not quite right about the place. Allie figures it out pretty quickly. It takes Paige a day or two longer, despite the fact that Paige is a best-selling writer of thrillers and you would figure that she would know better than to trust a bunch of secretive people living out in the middle of nowhere. Soon, both Paige and Allie want to leave but it turns out that leaving is not going to be easy. This mommune is full of all sorts of sordid secrets that dangerous people do not want revealed to the rest of the world.

This Lifetime film required a healthy suspension of disbelief. The same can be said about most Lifetime films but this one required even more than usual. That said, if you can accept that Paige would ever have been stupid enough to go to the mommune in the first place, Desperate Widows is entertaining. I liked Allison McAtee’s performance as the sinister Dianne and Justine Eyre and Olivia Stuck were believable as mother and daughter. What I really appreciated is that it didn’t take long for Paige to be like, “This place is messed up,” and to realize that she needed to find her daughter and escape.

Most importantly, Desperate Widows served as a warning against commune living. That’s a message that everyone can get behind.

Cleaning Out The DVR: Wicked Mom’s Club (dir by Lane Shefter Bishop)

Posted on January 8, 2018 by Lisa Marie Bowman

(Hi there! So, as you may know because I’ve been talking about it on this site all year, I have got way too much stuff on my DVR. Seriously, I currently have 178 things recorded! I’ve decided that, on February 1st, I am going to erase everything on the DVR, regardless of whether I’ve watched it or not. So, that means that I’ve now have only have a month to clean out the DVR! Will I make it? Keep checking this site to find out! I recorded Wicked Mom’s Club, off of the Lifetime Movie Network on October 7th, 2017!)

“You know girls. Friends one day. Enemies the next.”

— Olivia (Ashley Wood) in Wicked Mom’s Club (2017)

To be honest, before I actually sat down and watched this film, I assumed it was going to be comedy.

I mean check out the name: Wicked Mom’s Club. Doesn’t that just bring to mind snarky comments shared over wine and dark secrets?

And then I read the plot description, which basically said that the film was about a single mother who had to defeat the evil moms on the PTA. That sound like a comedy, doesn’t it?

But then I actually started the movie and it begain with a woman sobbing as she committed suicide in her suburban garage. At that point, it was obvious that Wicked Mom’s Club was not going to be a comedy.

Instead, it’s another “based-on-a-true-story” Lifetime film about all of the sordid secrets of the suburbs. It starts with Mandy (Jessica Blakemore) and her teenage daughter Riley (Virginia Tucker) moving into a new house. They’re looking to start a new life. Mandy is freshly divorced from a husband who used to cheat on her. Riley is a talented gymnast who got suspended from her previous school when she tested positive for drugs. It’s time for a new beginning! Not only do they have a new house but Mandy has a great job and an amazingly popular “mommy blog.”

Mandy meets Olivia (Ashley Wood). Olivia is the leader of the Gym Moms, a group of mothers whose daughters are all into gymnastics. At first, Olivia appears to be the nicest person in town. She talks about how much she loves Mandy’s blog. Riley becomes best friend’s with Olivia’s daughter, Chelsea (Bekka Walker). Mandy even confides in Olivia about Riley’s drug problems…

Uhmm, maybe she shouldn’t have done that.

From the beginning, there are hints that Olivia might not be as friendly as she seems. For instance, she deliberately knocks over a bag in order to distract Riley in the middle of her routine. Olivia always seems to be ordering the other Gym Moms around. Plus, a former Gym Mom approaches Mandy and warns her not to trust Olivia….

When Riley turns out to be a better gymnast than Chelsea, strange things start to happen. For instance, when Mandy tries to get a sponsor for her blog, she is shocked to discover that someone else has started a blog about what a terrible mother Mandy is. Since the entire town is obsessed with not only Mandy’s blog but also the random comments that are left on it, everyone starts to turn against Mandy. No one wants anything to do with you when you’re a bad blogger.

But, it doesn’t stop there. For instance, Mandy ends up getting arrested for drug possession. She starts to hear strange noises around her house. She grows paranoid, wondering if maybe Riley actually is blogging about her. Is Mandy being set up? And is this the end of the world’s most important mommy blog?

Wicked Mom’s Club may sound melodramatic but, honestly, I think everyone has had to deal with someone like Olivia at some point in their life. They may not all be as clever as Olivia is at destroying people’s lives but they’re out there, grown up bullies who live vicariously through their children. I grew up dancing and I’ve always been so thankful that my mom never put me under the type of pressure that the majority of my friends had to deal with. Ashley Wood did a good job bringing Olivia to villainous life and Jessica Blakemore and Virginia Tucker were believable as mother and daughter. Their difficult but loving relationship felt real.

I have to admit, though, that I was a little amused by how the entire world of Wicked Mom’s Club pretty much revolved around blogs and bloggers. I had no idea we were so powerful!

What Lisa Watched Last Night #173: Blood, Sweat, and Lies (dir by Lane Shefter Bishop)

Posted on January 6, 2018 by Lisa Marie Bowman

On Friday night, I watched the first Lifetime film of 2018, Blood, Sweat, and Lies!

Why Was I Watching It?

I just told you. It was the first Lifetime film of 2018. There was no way I couldn’t watch it.

Of course, there was a slight conflict in that Blood, Sweat, and Lies premiered at the exact same time as the U.S. Figure Skating Championship. So, while Blood, Sweat, and Lies was originally airing, I was busy yelling at the judges for the way they treated Ashley Wagner. (Whatever controversy she may find herself in, I will always be on the side of Ashley Wagner.) However, as soon as the I finished yelling, I switched over to the DVR and I watched Blood, Sweat, and Lies.

What Was It About?

Once upon a time, Mel (Hannah Barefoot) was a college track star. In fact, she was such a committed athlete that she decided to major in something easy so she would have more time to run track. Apparently, in the weird, alternative universe that this film takes place in, art history is an easy major. However, Mel quickly fell in love with art and, when she graduated from college, she gave up athletics to become a curator. (“That’s all you can do with an art history degree,” she said with a laugh while I, the proud recipient of a degree in art history, tried to resist the temptation to throw a show at the TV.)

So now, Mel is a successful curator but she misses being an athlete. When she breaks up with her boyfriend, she decides to start a new chapter in her life. She joins the local gym. She gets a personal trainer named Trey (Adam Huber). Since this is a Lifetime movie, it takes Trey about 60 minutes to go from being a supportive nice guy to a full-on psycho stalker. When Mel starts dating a muscular art collector named Adam (Matt Cedeño), Trey is not happy…

What Worked?

I think the biggest mistake that anyone could make with Blood, Sweat, and Lie would be to take any of it too seriously. If you take the movie seriously, then you’ll probably complain that it was predictable, the plot was full of holes, and Mel should have known better than to have trusted Trey in the first place.

However, if you’re like me, you’ll assume that this film was meant to be at least a little bit satirical and you’ll find a lot to be amused by. For instance, consider the opening scene in which Mel is seen holding a knife and smearing what appears to be blood on her face. At first, we assume that she’s just a typical Lifetime movie psycho but it’s soon revealed that she’s actually just trying to make a cake.

Or how about the scene where Trey and Adam meet at the gym and proceed to exchange passive aggressive insults. That was like Overage Dudebros Gone Wild.

Or there’s Mel’s best friend, Leslie (Briana Lane), who is not only a brilliant hacker but who also apparently shares every single thought that pops into her head. Often times, I got the feeling that Leslie understood that she was just a character in a movie and she was actually pretty okay with that.

And, of course, there’s the scene where, while Mel and Adam make love, Trey sits in his office and monitors Mel’s heart rate. It was strange, wrong, weird, and hilarious all at the same time. And really, that’s pretty much a perfect description of the entire film. It was just so melodramatic and full of over the top emoting that it was hard not to find something about it to enjoy.

(Plus, while I was watching the movie, I came up with a drinking game where you take a drink every time Adam or Trey calls someone “bro.”)

What Did Not Work?

Art history is not an easy major! (Admittedly, it was easy for me but I understand that there were others who definitely found it a little bit difficult.)

And you can do a lot of stuff with an art history degree … well, maybe not a lot of stuff but definitely some stuff… Actually, I guess the film kind of has a point as far as that’s concerned. But still…!

“OMG! JUST LIKE ME!” Moments

Despite the fact that Mel and I were both art history majors, I actually found myself relating more to Leslie. This was largely because both Leslie and I tend to say, “O. M. G” in politic conversation.

Lessons Learned

Art history majors never get the respect they deserve.