A Blast From The Past: The Gymnast (dir by Larry Elikann)

Posted on March 29, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Our regular review of Check It Out! will not be posted tonight so that we might bring you this special program….

My retro television reviews will return next week. For now, we present you with The Gymnast, a short film from 1980 about a teenage girl named Jenny who wants to be the best gymnast in the world but who is going to have to learn some important lessons about hard work and humility beforehand. I could relate to this film because I was the same way about dancing when I was a teen. Of course, I never learned any lessons about hard work or humility and I’m all the better for it.

That said, this isn’t a bad little film. Zina Bethune gives a good performance as the hard-pushing coach and there’s plenty of gymnastic action as well. I’m going to guess this was probably made to appeal to teens who would presumably have found a bunch of new heroes watching the 1980 Summer Olympics. Jimmy Carter, however, had other plans.

Now, without any further ado, here is …. The Gymnast!

A Blast From The Past: Have You Ever Been Ashamed Of Your Parents (dir by Harry Harris)

Posted on March 26, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Monsters will not be reviewed tonight so that we may bring you this very special presentation of 1983’s Have You Ever Been Ashamed Of Your Parents?

Yes, my retro television reviews will return next week but, until then, enjoy this blast from the past. In this hour-long presentation, Fran Davies (Kari Michaelson) is upset when her mother (Marion Ross) takes a summer job working as a maid for a rich family. At first, Fran thinks that Andrea (Jennifer Jason Leigh), the daughter of her mother’s employer, is a stuck-up snob but she soon learns that Andrea is instead painfully shy and that she has parents who are rich but unloving. Meanwhile, Fran’s parents are …. well, I wouldn’t call them poor. The film acts as if they’re poor but, from all indications, they appear to be comfortably middle class. The point is that they’re not rich but they are loving.

This is worth watching for Jennifer Jason Leigh’s performance as Andrea, a character to whom I could relate. It’s not easy being both shy and beautiful. Fans of great character actors will also be happy to see James Karen, playing Andrea’s father.

Now, without further ado, here is Have You Ever Been Ashamed Of Your Parents?

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 6.3 “The Perfect Gentleman/Legend”

Posted on January 28, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984. Unfortunately, the show has been removed from most streaming sites. Fortunately, I’ve got nearly every episode on my DVR.

Smiles, everyone!

Episode 6.3 “The Perfect Gentleman/Legend”

(Dir by Philip Leacock, originally aired on October 30th, 1982)

Jimmy Jordan (Paul Williams, who appeared on a lot of these type of shows) is a rock star who witnessed a mob hit at one of his concerts. Jimmy did what anyone would do. He called the police. They offered to protect him if he testified but then they told him that they probably wouldn’t be able to continue to protect him afterwards. (Uhmm …. hello? Witness Protection Program?) Jimmy decided to fake his own death and then go to Fantasy Island. His fantasy? To not get caught by the two mobsters who have been sent to make sure that he’s actually dead.

Uhmmm …. that’s weird. Like all of that was going on Jimmy just decided to go to Fantasy Island? And then he shows up on Fantasy Island wearing a trenchcoat over his rock star jump suit? Weird.

Fortunately, Michelle (Leslie Easterbrook) is on the island and her fantasy is apparently to have a new butler! Soon, Jimmy is calling himself Godfrey and helping Michelle and her family save their business while Tracer (John Davis Chandler) and Killer (Joseph Ruskin) search for him. Needless to say, Jimmy and Michelle fall in love and leave the island together and, unless I missed something, it appears that Jimmy is planning on just being Godfrey for the rest of his life. He even drives Michelle and her daughter to the docks so that they can all fly off to the mainland. I guess the world is going to go on believing that Jimmy’s dead and….

This fantasy raised way too many unanswered questions and Paul Williams was convincing neither as a rock star or a butler. This is a fantasy that called out for someone like …. oh, I don’t know. Sonny Bono, maybe.

The other fantasy was a bit of an improvement, just because it featured the unlikely but surprisingly likable pairing of Michelle Phillips and Andy Griffith. Phillips plays Andrea Barclay, who has a beautiful singing voice but who suffers from crippling stage fright. Her fantasy is to successfully perform in front of the toughest crowd ever.

Really? Roarke says, The toughest crowd?

By now, guests should realize that whenever Roarke says something like that, it means your fantasy is going to be interpreted in a bizarre way that you never expected. Considering that, the last time that Michelle Phillips was on the show, her fantasy to be the most famous woman in the world somehow led to her becoming Lady Godiva, Andrea really should have known better. Instead, Andrea is shocked when she finds herself in the Old West, where Judge Roy Bean (Andy Griffith) has promised the citizens of Langtry, Texas that his favorite actress and singer, Lillie Langtry (Madlyn Rhue), will be performing for them. When Lillie leaves without singing, it’s time for Andrea to put on a mask and pretend to be Lillie as she performs in Judge Bean’s saloon. Yeah, it’s a silly fantasy but Andy Griffith and Michelle Phillips both put their heart into their performances. Andy Griffith does his folksy-but-intelligent routine while Michelle Phillips especially deserves a lot of credit for taking things seriously.

This episode had the same problem as last week’s. Everything felt very familiar. Last week, we had what seemed like the show’s hundredth boxing and dancing fantasy. This week, we have what feels like the hundredth singing fantasy. After five seasons, it’s obvious that the show’s writers had started to run out of ideas.

Next week …. Roddy McDowall returns to Fantasy Island! Yay!