Horror Film Review: Dogs (dir by Burt Brinckerhoff)


I’ll admit it right now.  I’ve never really been a dog person.

That’s the way it’s been my entire life.  According to my sisters, I was bitten by a dog when I was two years old.  Needless to say, I don’t remember that happening but that still might explain why, when I was growing up, I was scared to death of dogs.  Seriously, if I was outside and I heard a dog barking or if I saw a dog running around loose (or even on a leash), I would immediately start shaking.  It didn’t help that, for some reason, I always seemed to run into the big dogs that wanted to jump and slobber all over me.  (“Don’t be scared,” one dog owner shouted at me, “that’ll just make him more wild,” as if it was somehow my responsibility to keep his dog under control.)

Then there was that time when was I was ten and I was visiting Lake Texoma with my family.  There was another family there and they had a big black dog with them.  When I first saw him, the dog was very friendly.  He ran up to me and, tentatively and with my sisters standing beside me for moral support, I even patted his head,.  He seemed so nice!  Finally, I had met a dog that didn’t scare me.  My family was really happy.  We went down to the lake and everyone told me how proud they were that I had managed to face a dog without running away.  As we came back from the lake, I saw the dog laying down next to his family’s van.  I smiled at the sight of him.  He raised his head, looked at me, and started to growl.  He wasn’t growling at my sisters or my parents.  He was growling at me.  Terrified, I went over to my family’s car and I ducked down behind it.  I could hear my Dad telling the dog to stop and then I heard the loudest barking and saw the dog running towards me.  I jumped in the car and locked the doors.  The dog’s owners eventually grabbed their dog and took him back to their van.  They said that I probably looked like someone who had been mean to it a few weeks earlier.  One thing that they did not really do was apologize.  Instead, they just made me feel like it was somehow my fault.  They didn’t seem sympathetic when my Mom explained that I was terrified of dogs.  When they realized my Dad was on the verge of punching someone, they retreated to their van and quickly left.  At that time, I decided that 1) I would never trust another dog and that 2) dog owners are the most selfish people on the planet.  I know that sounds harsh but seriously, I was traumatized!

As I grew up, I mellowed a bit.  I met nice dog owners who actually made the effort to control their pets.  I even met some friendly dogs and slowly realized that not all of them were going to try to kill me.  I became less scared of dogs but they still definitely make me nervous.  I still cringe when listening to the barking and I still reflexively step back whenever I see a big dog anywhere near me.  Now that I know more about dogs, I have to admit that I feel a little bit guilty about not liking them more.  Knowing that dogs actually blame themselves for me not liking them is kind of heart-breaking and I have been making more of an effort to be, if nothing else, at least polite to the canines who lives in the neighborhood.  That said, I’m a cat person and I’ll always be cat person.  Cats don’t care if you like them or not nor do they blame themselves if you’re in a bad mood, which is lot less of an emotional responsibility to deal with.

1977’s Dogs is a film that seems like it was especially made to give people like me nightmares.  It’s a pretty simple movie.  At a college in Southern California, the students and the faculty find themselves under siege from a bunch of dogs that have been driven mad by pheromones being sprayed into the atmosphere by a nearby, top secret government experiment.  Two professors (David McCallum and George Wyner) attempt to convince everyone to evacuate the college and the town but, in typical Jaws fashion, no one wants to admit the truth about what’s happening.  By the end, nearly everyone is dead (and the final scene of all the dead bodies spread across campus is genuinely haunting) and the cats are starting to hiss at humans.

Dogs is a low-budget drive-in flick but it’s still a frightening film, largely because the dogs are relentless and the victims may be largely stupid but they’re all stupid in realistic ways.  A group of college students is told to wait inside until George Wyner comes back for them but Wyner takes so long in returning that the terrified students decide to make a run for it themselves.  It doesn’t end well but it’s the sort of thing that I can actually imagine happening.  No one likes being told to wait and, with no idea of what’s actually going on, making a run for it might actually seem like as good an idea as any.  Even when the movie recreates the Psycho shower scene (with dogs instead of Norman Bates), it’s far more effective than it perhaps has any right to be.

Would this film be as effective from the point of view of someone who doesn’t have a history of being scared of dogs?  It’s a legitimate question.  Dogs aren’t like sharks.  Most people like dogs.  But when they’re barking and growling and determined to bite your throat, they can be pretty scary!  I’ll just say that Dogs is a film that seemed to be uniquely designed to give me nightmares.

October Hacks: X-Ray (dir by Boaz Davidson)


The 1982 film X-Ray (also known was Hospital Massacre) opens in the early 60s.  A nerdy kid named Harold gives a Valentine’s Day card to a popular girl named Susan.  Susan takes one look at the card and laughs.  Harold responds by taking Susan’s friend, David, and hanging him from a coat rack.  Yikes!

The film then jumps forward by 19 years.  Susan (Barbi Benton) is an upper class, divorced mom who has just received a promotion at work.  As a part of the promotion, she was required to get a medical exam for insurance purposes.  On Valentine’s Day, she heads to the hospital so that she can get the results of that exam.  It should be a routine thing that only takes a few minutes.  Susan may be a  chain smoker but, otherwise, she’s in good health.

Unfortunately, Harold is now working at the hospital and he finally sees his chance to give Susan “a piece of my heart.”  Harold fakes Susan’s test results and then murders her doctor.  Susan finds herself being checked into the hospital, pretty much against her will.  Since Harold didn’t do a very good job at faking her results, the doctors are all confused by Susan’s results.  Some of them want to operate.  Some of them just want to hold her for observation.  Susan desperately wants to leave, especially when she comes to realize that Harold is killing people in the ward.  As the doctors and nurses strap Susan down to her bed and prepare to operate, Harold goes on a rampage….

Produced by Cannon Films and directed by Boaz Davidson, X-Ray is an effectively frightening slasher film.  While the film’s plot doesn’t always hang together (for instance, Susan is remarkably untraumatized by the fact that, when she was a child, her best friend was hung from a coat rack), the hospital itself is a thoroughly creepy location and the supporting characters are all either extremely strange or extremely callous.  This is a slasher film that works less because of the blood that’s spilled but instead because it captures the dread that everyone feels at the prospect of having to spend any time at the hospital.  Even the doctors who aren’t trying to kill Susan come across as being cold and unfeeling.  The scene where Susan finds herself being ordered to undress so that she can be examined by a brusque doctor who she only met a few minutes before is, quite frankly, just as nightmarish as anything that we see Harold doing to any of his victims.  The fact that no one is willing to tell Susan what’s wrong and that everyone refuses to listen to her when she gets upset over the way she’s being treated is something to which many viewers will immediately relate.  And, of course, it’s not just that Susan has a madman stalking her through the hospital.  It’s also that all of the other patients seem to be so strange, from the guy who wanders around with his flask of bourbon to the three old women who share a hospital room with her and who talk about how, while Susan is beautiful on the outside, the inside of her body is slowly decaying.

Violent but quirky, X-Ray plays out like a filmed nightmare and it’s one of the most effective slasher films over the early 80s.