Lifetime Film Review: Hometown Killer (dir by Jeff Hare)

Posted on July 6, 2019 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Penny (Ashley Gallegos) is your worst nightmare.

She’s a former high school outcast who can now legally carry a gun. How much of an outcast was Penny? She was such an outcast that she was humiliated at a school dance by a bunch of popular kids who tied her down to a chair, made her up to look like a pig, and then displayed her in front of the entire class. Seriously, how do teenage bullies come up with stuff? I mean, I was never one to take part in bullying but, even if I was, my ADD would make it impossible for me to pull off most of the elaborate schemes that always seem to take place in movies like this.

Anyway, Penny was traumatized by the whole incident but she still managed to graduate and eventually become a cop. That’s right. Penny is upholding the law and she’s got an entire department to back her up in case she happens to shoot anyone and …. well, can you see why this might be a problem for her former high school classmates?

One night, Penny is called out to investigate a home invasion. After Penny shoots the home invader dead, she meets with the home’s owner and it turns out to be a former classmate, Tara (Kaitlyn Black)! Tara, who seems to have no memory of Penny’s life being destroyed in high school, is soon hanging out with her old classmate. She invites her to a party. She and Penny go out to the desert for target practice. The whole time, of course, Penny keeps imagining that she’s surrounded by the taunting laughter of her former classmates. Penny’s going to get her revenge, even if it means coming up with a scheme that’s even more ludicrously elaborate as the one that embittered her in the first place.

Hometown Killer is a classic Lifetime film, one that full embraces every melodramatic possibility of its storyline. Penny may be a dishonest murderer but you still feel sorry for her because of what she went through in high school. This is one of those films that makes you think, “Y’know, she probably she shouldn’t be doing this but maybe she should.” Director Jeff Hare adds enough little quirky touches to distinguish Hometown Killer from other, similar films. I especially liked the way the he took us in and out of Penny’s mind, always keeping us off-balance as to whether or not we were seeing what was really happening or if we were instead seeing what Penny thought was reality. It kept the audience off-balance and, as a result, Hometown Killer generated a lot more suspense than the average Lifetime film.

The success of a film like this pretty much hinges on the actress playing the killer and Ashley Gallegos did a great job of making Penny both sympathetic and frightening. Perhaps her greatest moment in the film is when she simply watches the chaos that she’s created and allows herself a slightly satisfied smirk. It’s a small moment but it tells us everything that we need to know about what’s going on in her head. Also impressive was Kelly Marcus, who was wonderfully obnoxious as the prototypical high school bully who never adjusted to life in the real world.

Hometown Killer aired on Lifetime and, Lifetime being Lifetime, it will undoubtedly air again. Keep an eye out for it!

Let’s Talk About Killer Under The Bed (dir by Jeff Hare)

Posted on October 31, 2018 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Killer Under The Bed aired on the Lifetime network back on October 20th and, at first glance, it might sound like a typical lifetime film.

Recent widow Sarah (Kristy Swanson) has moved into a new house and gotten a new job. She has two teenage daughters, both of whom are still struggling to deal with the death of their father. The older daughter is Chrissy (Madison Lawlor), the star athlete who is protective of her younger sister, even if she’s not always willing to admit it. Kilee (Brec Bassinger) meanwhile is struggling to escape from her sister’s shadow and fit in at her new school.

Consider some of what Kilee has to deal with. The school’s resident mean girls are determined to destroy her. She has a crush on one of her teachers and he seems to be growing more and more obsessed with her. Kilee has a secret that she can’t tell her mother or her sister and Kilee fears that everyone blames her for what happened to her father.

As I said, it sounds like a typical Lifetime situation but here’s the twist. Almost all of Kilee’s problem can be linked to the rather ugly doll that she stumbled across in her new home. Much like buying weed in Colorado and then trying to sell it for a profit in Wyomng, having a voodoo doll seemed like a good idea at first. By making wishes, Kilee not only punished the school bully but she also resolved a conflict between her mom and a co-worker. And when Kilee wished that her teacher would love her, he went from holding her at a polite distance to suddenly sending her flirtatious texts and photoshopping their faces onto wedding advertisements!

But, much like a Colorado weed dealer spending the night in a Wyoming jail, Kilee soon discovers that nothing’s ever as easy as it seems. Even the best of ideas have consequences. For one thing, the doll has the power to drive people crazy. Secondly, the doll itself is a bit possessive and has a temper. When Chrissy comes across the doll and tries to throw it away, the doll responds by climbing out of the trashcan and reentering the house. Later, when the school bully tries to steal the doll, the doll responds by attacking her with a knife. Soon, the doll is crawling around the house, hiding underneath beds, and creating all sorts of mayhem.

Oh my God, this was such a great movie! From the minute that doll unzipped Kilee’s backpak so that it could escape to raise havoc, I knew I was watching a great film. Killer Under The Bed is totally over the top and just so wonderfully ludicrous that there’s no way that you can’t have fun watching it. Between the killer doll, the bullies that were so evil that seemed like they should be plotting against The Avengers, and the perpetually confused teacher, Killer Under The Bed was way too much fun.

In the past, I’ve been told that Lifetime tends to be resistant to horror movies. They really should rethink that policy. Killer Under The Bed is one of the most entertaining Lifetime films that I’ve seen in a while.

What Lisa Watched Last Night #176: Bad Tutor (dir by Jeff Hare)

Posted on March 4, 2018 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night, I watched the latest Lifetime film, Bad Tutor!

Why Was I Watching It?

After you watch enough Lifetime films, you come to learn a few things. For instance, any film that’s called Bad Something is probably going to be worth watching. Over the years, there have been Bad Students, Bad Teachers, Bad Doctors, Bad Husbands, Bad Assistants, and Bad Realtors. Really, it was only a matter of time until they got around to a Bad Tutor.

(My hope is that they will follow this up with a film called Bad Tudor, just because I assume all sorts of crazy stuff was going on with the court of Henry VIII.)

What Was It About?

It’s a simple film about three people who have hopes and problems.

For instance, Kelly (Vanessa Marcil) is a widow who is hoping to find a new husband but who also has a rebellious teenage daughter.

Emily (Alex Frnka) is Kelly’s daughter. She hopes to become a famous singer but first, she has to pass her chemistry midterm. When the movie starts, she’s currently on the road to getting a D in that class. Emily says that people are going to be too busy responding to her music to care if she passed chemistry. Kelly worries that Emily won’t be able to get into a good college with that D following her around.

Devon (Charles Hittinger) is a chemist who claims to be a former teacher. Devon hopes that he’ll be able to get Emily to fall in love with him, largely because Emily looks just like his dead girlfriend. Devon’s problem is that he’s batshit insane and the only reason his girlfriend is dead is because he pushed her off of a cliff.

When Kelly meets Devon, she decides that he would be the perfect tutor for Emily. Little does she suspect that Devon is actually … a bad tutor!

What Worked?

Vanessa Marcil gave a pretty good performance as Kelly. I liked the fact that, as opposed to the typical perfect Lifetime mother, Kelly not only made mistakes but also owned up to them.

The film’s opening, which started with Devon proposing to his girlfriend and ended with him pushing her off of a cliff, was well-handled.

What Did Not Work?

Here’s the thing: when it comes to Lifetime movies, we all agree, to an extent, to suspend our disbelief. We accept the fact that characters will sometimes act stupidly and we try not to hold that against them.

But, sometimes, you run into a character who is just so utterly stupid that, try as you may, you just can’t forgive them. That was the case with Emily in Bad Tutor. Not only was Emily something of a spoiled brat but she also turned out to be amazingly gullible. After spending the first half of the movie making fun of the nerdy Devon, Emily changed her tune when Devon claimed to have a friend in the recording industry. Never did Emily ask for any proof or anything. Instead, she just ran away from home with Devon. Looking over her actions, I have to say I’m surprised that she was only failing one class.

Finally, Emily did sing a few times and … well, let’s just hope that she gets into a good college.

“Oh my God! Just like me!” Moments

I related to Emily, largely because I too was a rebellious teenager who couldn’t sing.

Lessons Learned

I didn’t learn anything because he was a bad tutor.

Cleaning Out The DVR: Psycho In-Law (dir by Jeff Hare)

Posted on January 3, 2018 by Lisa Marie Bowman

(Hi there! So, as you may know because I’ve been talking about it on this site all year, I have got way too much stuff on my DVR. Seriously, I currently have 184 things recorded! I’ve decided that, on January 15th, I am going to erase everything on the DVR, regardless of whether I’ve watched it or not. So, that means that I’ve now have only have a month to clean out the DVR! Will I make it? Keep checking this site to find out! I recorded Psycho In-Law off of Lifetime on October 5th, 2017!)

You’re probably looking at the picture above and you’re thinking to yourself, “Oh my God, that’s one psycho in-law!”

Well, that picture doesn’t even begin to do justice to just how crazy Joyce (Catherine Dyer) tuns out to be. I’ve seen a lot of crazy people in a lot of Lifetime films and it’s hard to think of any who go quite as batshit insane as Joyce.

Joyce, of course, does have her reasons for being upset. She was overjoyed when her daughter, Lorna, married the handsome and successful Brock (Mike Faiola). She was even happier when Lorna gave birth to her granddaughter, Harper (Brooke Fontana). But then Lorna died, the result of an accident that was pretty much all Joyce’s fault. In the two years since Lorna’s death, Joyce has doted on both Brock and Harper. She’s become a very important member of their family.

But now, Brock has met Tina (Katie Leclerc). After dating Tina for six months, he finally feels that he’s ready to move on and to marry her. Brock is happy. Tina’s happy. Harper’s happy. Tina’s sister, Ellen (Pamela Mitchell), is happy even if she chooses not to admit it. You know who isn’t happy? Joyce.

And it makes sense, it really does. After all, Joyce sees Tina as someone who is trying to not only replace her daughter in Brock’s life but also to replace Joyce in Harper’s life. It’s no surprise that Joyce wouldn’t approve of Tina. That’s just the way people are. However, Joyce does take things a little bit too far.

For instance:

She hires a private investigator to dig up dirt on Tina.

She murders her husband when he suggests that she’s getting a little too obsessed.

She contacts Tina’s ex-boyfriend and leads him to believe that Tina wants to get back together.

She tricks Tina into throwing away a hairbrush that Lorna gave to Harper.

She pushes someone out of a window.

She lies to Tina about what time Harper gets out of school, causing Tina to look irresponsible when she doesn’t pick Harper up.

She tries to poison Tina.

She utters every passive aggressive comment that pops into her mind.

She cases Tina around with a big knife…

Yes, Joyce does taking things just a little bit too far.

Anyway, Catherine Dyer’s completely and totally twisted performance as Joyce is the main reason to watch Psycho In-Law. She totally throws herself into the role and she’s a lot of fun to watch. That said, my favorite character — and the one to whom I definitely related — was Tina’s sister, Ellen. As played by Pamela Mitchell, Ellen had a sarcastic quip for every occasion. I related.

Psycho In-Law, of course, was followed by Psycho Brother-in-Law. I’m looking forward to Psycho Second Cousin sometime this summer.

What Lisa Watched Last Night #168: A Lover Betrayed (dir by Jeff Hare)

Posted on September 10, 2017 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night, I watched the latest Lifetime premiere movie, A Lover Betrayed!

Why Was I Watching It?

Ennui, baby!

Seriously, ennui is the best explanation that I can give you. For the past two and a half months, my weekend has been about watching the latest episode of Twin Peaks and then trying to figure out what it all meant. Well, Twin Peaks is over now. Game of Thrones is over. The Walking Dead isn’t going to be back for another week or so. Big Brother is still on but all the other TSL writers got together, took a vote, and banned me from discussing it on this site.

ENNUI!

Plus, A Lover Betrayed was on the Lifetime Movie Network and you know that i can never resist a good Lifetime film.

What Was It About?

It was about a lover who was betrayed.

Oh, you already figured that out just from reading the title?

Okay, more specifically, the lover is Tess (Jamie Luner). Tess used to be a guidance counselor but then she found out that the principal at her school was a perv. She got him fired so, of course, he showed up at her house with a gun. He committed suicide but first, he fired the gun randomly at the ceiling, which led to Tess’s son, Mason, getting killed.

Years later, Tess is an internationally renowned blogger and author, who helps grieving parents deal with the loss of their children. She is separated from Rodger, who has never emotionally recovered from the death of their son. At a reading, she meets Conall, a handsome young soldier who says that her blog helped him recover after the death of his father. Conall and Tess end up sharing one night of passion but, because this is a Lifetime movie, Rodger shows up the very next morning and says that he wants to fix their relationship.

Not surprisingly, Conall turns out to be a bit obsessive but there’s more to it than just the typical Lifetime stalking movie. There’s all sorts of twists and turns, which I won’t spoil here…

What Worked

I was so proud of myself because, last night, I figured out the movie’s big twist after watching for about 30 minutes. That doesn’t mean that it’s not a good twist. It just means that I got lucky. In fact, I thought it was actually a pretty clever twist and I appreciated the fact that the movie didn’t spring it of nowhere. The clues were there and, for once, I actually managed to pick up on them.

Lifetime regular Jamie Luner did a good job as Tess. She’s been in a lot of these movies and obviously knows how to sincerely deliver even the most melodramatic lines of dialogue.

What Did Not Work

Oh my God, this was a dark movie. For a Lifetime movie, I would actually say that it was a little bit too dark. Lifetime movies are supposed to be fun but, at times, this one was actually rather depressing. Even when the movie reached a standard Lifetime conclusion, I was still like, “Damn …. Tess is going to be messed up for a long time….”

“Oh my God! Just like me!” Moments

Tess’s sister was a gun-toting badass. My sister is a gun-toting badass. Woo hoo!

Lessons Learned

Trust no one!