Jake Paul | Through the Shattered Lens

You can’t always get what you want.

Last night, almost every true fight fan wanted to see Mike Tyson knock out Jake Paul. It didn’t happen, because Tyson is 58 years old and Jake Paul is 31 years younger. Tyson started out strong but, after the third round, it was obvious that he was exhausted and it even looked like Jake Paul was going easy on him as things reached their conclusion. Mike made it 8 rounds without collapsing, which was a personal victory considering how tired he looked by the end of the fight. Jake and Mike both got paid and I imagine that was their main concern.

Last night was hardly the worst thing that I’ve ever seen as far as boxing is concerned. I lived through the 90s and the era when Don King would shove any fighter, regardless of how mentally unstable or drug-addicted, into the ring. I am old enough that I can remember Oliver McCall having a nervous breakdown in the ring and refusing to defend himself against Lennox Lewis. I can remember Andrew Golota throwing away two certain victories because he just couldn’t stop hitting Riddick Bowe below the belt. I can remember Mike Tyson biting off a chunk of Evander Holyfield’s ear. I can even remember Montell “Ice” Griffin. Trust me, I’ve seen a lot worse that Paul vs. Tyson. But watching Iron Mike lose to a YouTube star, that’s definitely the type of thing that will hurt the soul of any 90s kid. The new generation has arrived and the man who was once the greatest boxer in the world lost to a former Disney star.

The biggest loser last night was not Netflix, despite all of the technical difficulties that they had trying to broadcast a live event. The biggest losers were the people who purchased a Netflix subscription just to watch the fight and instead spent most of the night staring at error messages and a buffering image. Did the Netflix engineer not consider that Mike Tyson coming out retirement to fight a YouTube star would put added stress on their servers? Netflix still made their money, though. They got what they wanted, even if fight fans didn’t.

I have no problem acknowledging that, even past his prime and two years away from sixty, Mike Tyson could easily beat me up. But now I have to live with the knowledge that Jake Paul could beat me up too. That’s the real tragedy of Paul vs. Tyson.

I’ve managed to avoid most of the hype surrounding tonight’s boxing match between Mike Tyson and Jake Paul. That was intentional on my part because I found the whole idea to be incredibly depressing.

When I was growing up, there was no athlete more fearsome than Mike Tyson. At the peak of his career, he was the best boxer of all time. You can count me in as one of the people who believes that Tyson, at his best, could have easily defeated Mohammed Ali. What Tyson lacked in finesse, he made up for in pure power. As Tyson got older, he got slower and was no longer as impressive as he used to be but that happens to almost every boxer. Even after he retired, Tyson remained a boxing icon. I don’t care how old he is or how slowly he might now move, I would not want to get on Mike Tyson’s bad side.

And then there’s Jake Paul. I had to ask Lisa who Jake Paul was. Apparently, he’s a YouTube star who has decided that he’s a boxer and who has won a few sketchy fights. Paul vs. Tyson is going to be his debut as a heavyweight.

Friends and fellow readers, let me just be blunt.

If “Iron Mike” Tyson loses to Jake Paul tonight, my childhood will be over. If Mike Tyson, the most fearsome boxer of my lifetime, loses to a YouTube star, I am just going to give up on everything and start my mid-life crisis. It would be one thing if this was an exhibition match. Everyone knows that an exhibition doesn’t mean anything. This is an officially sanctioned boxing match. This fight will forever be a part of Mike Tyson’s record. If Mike Tyson officially ends his career losing to Jake Paul, what’s the point?

And it could happen. Mike Tyson is 58 years old and Jake Paul is 27. There’s a big difference between 58 and 27. By his own admission, Mike Tyson also doesn’t like to train. In Tyson’s last officially sanctioned match, he lost to Kevin McBride. Remember that? Tyson quit the fight after the sixth round. And after he lost, Tyson said “I’m not going to disrespect the sport anymore by losing to this caliber of fighter.” Mike’s looking for a payday and so is Jake Paul. If Jake beats Mike Tyson, that’ll mean that anyone could beat Mike Tyson if they pay him enough. That would be the ultimate disrespect to the sport that Tyson says he loves.

I have faith in Iron Mike, though. I think Tyson will let the fight go to the end but I think he’ll win on points. I think that the universe or karma or whatever you want to call it will cut all of us fight fans a break.

At least, I hope it will.