Jaime Lynn Bauer | Through the Shattered Lens

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984. The show is once again on Tubi!

This week, I really missed Tattoo.

Episode 7.19 “”Lost and Found/Dick Turpin’s Last Ride”

(Dir by Bob Sweeney, originally aired on April 7th,1984)

Stung by the discovery that her husband has cheated on her, Sheila McKenna (Carol Lynley) comes to Fantasy Island, looking for revenge. Her husband, Frank (Adam West), follows her and tries to save his marriage. Sheila is tempted to cheat with Frank’s business partner. Fortunately, Mr. Roarke is there to show Frank the error of his ways and, for some reason, Sheila ends up forgiving him and they leave the Island with their marriage stronger than ever.

This storyline is one that I perhaps would have been more invested in if Sheila McKenna had not been played by Carol Lynley. Lynley was the most frequent guest star on Fantasy Island. She was never particularly memorable but, in this episode, she gives a performance that can only be described as bad. Delivering her lines without a hint of emotion (and forget about having any chemistry with West), Lynley comes across as if she under the influence of serious narcotics. I was genuinely worried about her health. I didn’t really care much about her marriage.

As for the other storyline, singer Tom Jones stars as mild-mannered accountant Jack Palmer. Palmer idolizes the legendary Welsh highwayman, Dick Turpin. Roarke sends him into the past so that he can actually be Dick Turpin. Tom Jones as Turpin sings almost all of his dialogue. Jack’s wife (Dianne Kay) is also sent into the past and is kidnapped by Sid Haig.

The Dick Turpin storyline was the sort of thing that Fantasy Island did well in the past. However, despite some surprisingly strong production values, it just kind of fell flat in this episode. A big problem is that this was the type of story that would have been perfect for Tattoo but, unfortunately, the show replaced Herve Villechaize with Christopher Hewett. I have nothing against Christopher Hewett. From what I’ve read, he was apparently a very devout Catholic who was loved by all. But the switch-over from Villechaize to Hewett was definitely the moment that Fantasy Island stopped being a fantasy to watch.

It’s hard to believe that I’m nearly done with this series. I’ve been reviewing it since 2022! It’s brought me a lot of joy but, as I make my way through the final episodes of season 7, I’m ready to finally move on.

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983. The entire show is currently streaming on Freevee!

This week, Ponch again fails to get rich.

Episode 1.11 “Name Your Price”

(Dir by Ric Rondell, originally aired on December 8th, 1977)

This week’s episode opens on an unusually somber note for CHiPs. It begins in a cemetery. A woman (Jaime Lynn Bauer) is dressed in chic funeral black and appears to be attending a service. But it soon turns out that she’s actually just making sure that everyone is so distracted by mourning that they won’t notice her stealing a Rolls Royce!

It turns out that a Rolls is not quite as easy to steal as she thought and soon, she finds herself being pursued by Ponch and Baker. It’s a chase that leads from the highway and into the city and, to Ponch and Baker’s shock, they lose sight of the stolen car.

“How does a Rolls Royce vanish!?” Ponch asks, in shock.

Ponch is a bit distracted himself this episode. He has been accepted as a contestant on a game show called Name Your Price! Name Your Price is obviously meant to be The Price Is Right and Ponch spends the majority of the episode memorizing the price tags on appliances. Unfortunately, Ponch does not memorize the price tag of a motorcycle and therefore, he turns out to be a bit of a bust when he appears on the show. As Baker and his date sneak out of the studio, Ponch is humiliated as the show’s host wonders how a motorcycle cop could not know how much a motorcycle costs.

Oh, Ponch — will you ever win!?

It’s not all bad for Ponch. He and Baker pull over a car and Ponch is excited to discover that it’s occupied by the two stars of his favorite soap opera. (Does Ponch do anything other than watch television?) And Ponch also gets to help out when a chicken truck is involved in a minor accident and dozens of chickens end up running around the highway. As usual, the main emphasis of this episode is on the idea of the members of the highway patrol working together and keeping the streets safe for chickens and humans. Yes, this episode says, the CHiPs do chase car thieves and arrest criminals. But usually, they’re just taking care of mundane tasks and getting little thanks and little pay.

This episode was entertaining. I enjoyed looking at the cars that were stolen. If you’re going to commit a crime, you might as well commit it for a Rolls Royce. And the ending with the game show was a lot more effective than the typical CHiPs ending. Ponch has spent the first 11 episodes of this show destroying motorcycles so it’s a nice bit of humor that a motorcycle would destroy his chance to get rich. That’s karma!

Next week, Baker and Ponch continue to keep L.A. safe!