Late Night Retro Television Review: Check It Out! 2.19 “Only God Can Make A Tree”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing the Canadian sitcom, Check it Out, which ran in syndication from 1985 to 1988.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, Howard goes to jail!

Episode 2.19 “Only God Can Make A Tree”

(Dir by Alan Erlich, originally aired on March 1st, 1987)

Old George is coming down!

Who is Old George?  Actually, it’s more a question of what is Old George?  Old George is a tree that stands a few feet away from Cobb’s.  Apparently, Howard spent a good deal of his youth hanging out around Old George.  He and his father used to have picnics under Old George.  He and his friends use to climb Old George.  Howard decides that Old George must be saved so he organizes a protest.  He forces Christian, Leslie, and Viker to join him in trying to keep the city contactors from chopping down the tree.  As a result, Howard and his three employees are arrested and sent to jail.

(Can you sue if your boss forces you to do something that gets you arrested?  It seems like you should be able to.  Of course, I’m not really sure how the law works in Canada.)

In court, the four men decide that, instead of getting a lawyer to defend them, they’ll just let Howard be in charge of their defense.  I guess they all want to go to jail.  Edna brings Howard several law books but she brings them to the trial so Howard has to skim them while the arresting police officer (Bob Bainborough) gives his testimony.  That seems counter-productive but whatever.  The law books aren’t necessary because, instead of arguing the law, Howard just tells the judge how much the tree meant to him.  Howard and his employees are set free by the judge (Jack Mather).  Then Old George is promptly chopped down because it has Dutch Elm disease.  So, it was all for nothing!

Because Howard’s Aunt Lil (Kay Tremblay) was visiting, we did learn a bit about Howard’s background.  After his father died, Howard was raised by his aunt.  He grew up in the same neighborhood where he works.  All of his friends grew up to be doctors and lawyers and scientists while Howard grew up to manage a grocery store.  He’s been living with Edna for seven years but doesn’t have any plans to marry her.  Edna desperately wants to have grandchildren but again, Howard’s in no huray to get married …. you know, when you combine all of this with the tree ultimately dying, this is probably the most depressing episode of Check It Out ever shot.

This was a weird episode.  While I can respect Howard’s desire to protect Old George, I can’t respect him requiring his employees to join with him in the protest.  It’s also strange to me that they protested while they were still on the clock.  Did the store just shut down while they were all sitting in jail?  All of this seems like bad boss behavior to me.  Jeff Pustil, Aaron Schwartz, Kathleen Laskey, and Gordon Clapp all managed to get in a few good lines but Don Adams himself seemed confused as to whether he should play Howard as being an earnest tree-lover or as just a pompous ass.  That’s not really Adams’s fault.  This show has never been particularly consistent in the way that Howard is portrayed.

That said, I would have tried to save Old George as well.  From what I saw of him, he was an impressive tree.

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Friday the 13th: The Series 1.9 “Root of all Evil”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Friday the 13th, a show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990. The show can be found on YouTube!

This week, Lloyd returns!

Episode 1.9 “Root of all Evil”

(Dir by Allan King, originally aired on November 28th, 1987)

Remember Lloyd (Barclay Hope)?

Lloyd is Micki’s fiancé, an attorney who obviously has a lot of money.  Way back when this series began, Micki promised Lloyd that it would only take her a week or two to deal with her late uncle’s estate.  That was all we heard about Lloyd for the next few episodes and I have to admit that I had assumed that the show had forgotten about him.

Well, it turns out that I was wrong.  In this episode, Lloyd calls up Micki at the antique shop and basically accuses her of trying to get out of marrying him.  Micki, who obviously cannot begin to explain what she’s been doing at the antique shop, tells Lloyd that her uncle’s estate is really complex.  Lloyd wants Micki to come back home.  Micki, herself, says that she wants to go back home.  Ryan, however, tells Micki that they have an obligation to get all of the cursed antiques.

(One of the best things about the first season so far has been the contrast between Ryan’s enthusiasm for dealing with the supernatural and Micki’s more cautious approach towards their mission.  Wisely, the show doesn’t take sides.  Ryan often acts without thinking while Micki often spends a lot of time trying to rationalize each of the curses.  Both approaches have their strengths and their flaws.)

Lloyd eventually shows up at the antique shop and Micki finally tells him what’s going on.  She even shows him the vault, which includes the psycho doll from the show’s pilot.  (The doll gives Micki and Lloyd a rather nasty look.)  Lloyd is still not convinced and, at first, Micki takes some comfort in the fact that he’s not a Ryan-style believer.  She considers marrying Lloyd and returning to a life of pretending that the supernatural doesn’t exist.

While Micki is dealing with all of that, Ryan and Jack are dealing with a homicidal gardener named Adrian (played by future Veronica Mars co-star, Enrico Colantoni) who has a cursed mulcher.  When he stuffs a person into a mulcher, the body is transformed into however much money the person was worth, both financially and morally.  Jack and Ryan go undercover as gardeners and, as you can probably guess, Adrian is eventually fed into the mulcher.  The mulcher doesn’t feel that Adrian is worth even a dollar, which means that it just grinds his body up and blood goes flying everywhere.  This is definitely one of the more gory episode of the show so far.

As for Lloyd, even after he sees proof that magic is real and that the antiques actually are cursed, he still says that Micki should abandon the store and marry him.  Micki realizes that Lloyd doesn’t care about anyone but himself and she dumps him.  (If she had fed him to the mulcher, she could have at least gotten some money out of the deal.)  The episode ends with Ryan welcoming Micki back to the antique shop and Micki realizing that she’s home.  Awwwwww!

I liked this episode, mostly because it tied up a loose end from the pilot, suggesting that the show’s writers actually were paying attention to what they were doing and also showing that Friday the 13th was more than just a show about the supernatural.  It was also a show about the bonds of family and friendship.  Robey finally got to do something more than look scared and ask Jack what to do.  And, it must be said, the mulcher was an enjoyably grisly creation.  Still, I do have to wonder …. who buys a mulcher from an antique store?

October True Crime: Deranged (dir by Jeff Gillen and Alan Ormsby)


First released in 1974, Deranged tells the story of Ezra Cobb (Roberts Blossom).

In the 1950s, Ezra is a shy and withdrawn farmer who lives in Wisconsin with his elderly mother (Cosette Lee).  Ezra’s mother has raised Ezra to view all other women as being evil and to view sex as being sinful.  The end result is that the middle-aged Ezra is absolutely devoted to his mother but he also has no idea what to do with himself after she dies and is buried in the nearby cemetery.  After a year of being alone in the farm house, Ezra starts to hear voices telling him to dig up his mother.  Ezra does so but, disappointed to see how much her body has decayed over the past few months, he decides that he should start digging up fresher bodies so that he can “rebuild” his mother.

Eeeek!

Yes, it’s a creepy story and it’s all the more creepy for being true.  Ezra Cobb is based on Ed Gein, the farmer, grave robber, and serial killer whose actions not only shocked the town of Plainfield but which also inspired Robert Bloch to create the character of Norman Bates.  Psycho was based on Ed Gein’s crimes.  So was The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, with the bone-strewn home and Leatherface’s habit of wearing other people’s faces lifted directly from some of the more sordid details of what was found at Gein’s home.  By the time the police discovered what had been happening at the farm, Ed Gein had moved on from grave robbing to committing murders.  It’s known that Ed Gein killed at least three people.  It’s suspected that he was responsible for more.  Interestingly enough, Ed Gein was described as being very friendly and helpful after he was captured.  He spent the rest of his life in various mental hospitals, where he was described as being a model patient.

A low-budget Canadian production, Deranged plays out in a documentary fashion, featuring enough gore that the film was actually banned in some countries.  That said, as bloody as certain scenes are, there’s a strong strain of dark humor running through Deranged.  As played by character actor Roberts Blossom, the dazed but always polite Ezra never makes much of an attempt to hide his activities.  When Ezra’s friend, Harlan (Robert Warner), reads aloud an article about a missing barmaid, Ezra replies that the barmaid is over at his place.  Harlan has a good laugh at the idea and Ezra responds with a somewhat shy smile.  No one in town suspects Ezra, largely because he doesn’t hunt and he always seem to be so quiet and mild-mannered.  Even when Ezra points a rifle at a store clerk, she laughs and asks, “What are you doing, Ez?” and, given that Ezra looks so harmless, it’s easy to understand why.  Ezra?  Why, he wouldn’t hurt a fly!  Interestingly enough, everyone around Ezra is far more openly violent and misogynistic than Ezra.  Harlan brags about his ability as a hunter.  A man in a bar makes misogynistic comments about the bar maid who has become Ezra’s latest obsession.  Though Ezra is the one who acts on his impulses, the film suggests that Ezra isn’t that different from the other men in town.

In a rare starring role, Roberts Blossom gives a strong performance as Ezra, playing him as someone who is so far divorced from reality that he actually seems to be genuinely offended when one of his victims tries to escape from the barn.  Blossom plays Ezra as someone who alternates between being a violent madman and someone who has an almost childlike need for approval.

Ed Gein was one of the first serial killers to become national news and Deranged acknowledges this by featuring a newsman (Leslie Carlson) who not only serves as the film’s narrator but who also occasionally shows up in Gein’s farmhouse, speaking directly to the camera and explaining what was going on in Gein’s life at the time.  It’s actually an effective technique, one that acknowledges the media obsession with the crimes of men like Ed Gein.  That obsession, of course, led to movies, including Deranged.  In many ways, Deranged’s use of the newsman is prophetic.  It predicted a future in which the media would play their part into turning serial killers into almost mythological figures, sneaking their way through the more shadowy parts of American history.

Deranged is an effective film.  For a long time, it was also believed to be a lost film.  After the film’s 1974 run, all prints of the film disappeared.  Fortunately, in the mid-90s, a copy was found in Florida and both the film and Roberts Blossoms’s performances got the reevaluation and appreciation that they deserved.