Iris Quinn | Through the Shattered Lens

On Sunday night, I turned over to the Lifetime Movie Network and I watched Where’s My Baby?

Lochlyn Munro, the patron saint of Canadian-produced Lifetime melodrama and co-star of Where’s My Baby?

Why Was I Watching It?

Oh, why not?

Sorry, I’m trying to come a funny and/or interesting reason why I decided to watch Where’s My Baby? but the main answer is that it was on the Lifetime Movie Network and there was nothing else on. Game of Thrones is on break. Veep is on break. There’s no killer zombies on AMC and I can’t watch Preacher because I resent its inaccurate portrayal of my home state.

So, with all that in mind, I figured why not see what was premiering on LMN!

What Was It About?

Marissa Davis (Nicole de Boer) wakes up after having spent the past five years in a coma. She has no memory of how she came to be in that coma but she’s still happy to be awake. She’s especially happy to discover that her best friend, Heather (Gina Holden), is married to Congressman Cal Ward (Lochlyn Munro). Cal seems like a nice guy but he’s running for the Senate and talking about how much he believes in traditional values and we all know that, in a Lifetime movie, anyone who talks about values is eventually going to turn out to be a huge hypocrite.

Marissa is disturbed to discover that 1) she was the victim of a mysterious hit and run and that 2) she has a C-section scar. Her mother (Iris Quinn) finally tells her that she was pregnant when she was hit by the car. Her mother also assures her that the baby was delivered stillborn.

Meanwhile, Heather and Cal have a 5 year-old daughter! What a coincidence! And the baby appears to have the same hereditary kidney disorder that runs in Marissa’s family. What could that possibly mean? And, for that matter, why is a mysterious doctor suddenly so obsessed with removing Marissa’s kidney?

What Worked?

Oh my God, I so love these insane Lifetime movies. Where’s My Baby is shameless fun, the type of movie that you simply cannot stop watching once it has begun. The movie starts out crazy and it just keeps going from there!

Add to that, there’s a general rule when it comes to Lifetime films. If Lochlyn Munro is in it, the film cannot be bad. Lochlyn Munro has appeared in so many Lifetime films that, to some of us, he’s become the patron saint of the network.

What Did Not Work?

It all worked. When a film is that insanely over the top, there’s no way that it can’t work.

“Oh my God! Just like me!” Moments

To be honest, there really weren’t any “Oh my God! Just like me!” moments. I’ve never suffered from amnesia. As anyone who has ever gotten on my bad side can tell you, I never forget.

Never.

Lessons Learned

If you wake up with amnesia, don’t take anyone’s word for what happened while you were asleep. Investigate for yourself. Seriously, that’s a lesson to live by.

And by the “Township of Gilford”, they mean Pitt Meadows, British Columbia, Canada, which based on the Street View on Google Maps looks like a beautiful place to live. The sign normally says Waterfront Commons Park. I know this because they left this shot in the movie and the town square is distinctive as well as the physical centerpiece of the film.

Also, there is a British Columbia license plate later, but let’s introduce our leading lady named Lindsey Monroe played by none other than Bridget Regan.

You know, Fiona from The Leisure Class.

In this alternate universe she has a daughter from a previous marriage. That marriage came to an end because her husband died. I swear Hallmark movies kill more parents than any other movies I know about. The deal is that the mayor named Fred (Fred Henderson) wants her to work with Scott Terrell (Victor Webster) to restore the township’s historic gazebo.

Scott is an odd duck. He insists that the gazebo be restored to the exact way it used to be, complete with period accurate Christmas lights, and it was even built by his grandfather, but he doesn’t have a picture of it himself because it’s convenient for the plot. Seriously, once he tells you why he is so stubborn about having a historical reference for the gazebo you keep asking yourself why he doesn’t have one already. I mean he even promised his grandfather about the gazebo. Yet, he will harass Lindsey about finding an accurate picture of how the gazebo used to look. He eventually does find it, but it’s a bit ridiculous up till then and feels like Lindsey is playing a point and click adventure looking for the item she needs to complete his quest.

Well, anyways, we have two more people. We already mentioned the daughter…

and she wants a dog for Christmas, but instead, some random lady sells her a stocking. A magic stocking you might say. Enough of her though cause we now have Grandma Donna (Iris Quinn).

She has shown up for Christmas with a tree in tow. What’s hilarious here is that they bothered to make sure her car has a Florida license plate and bumper sticker.

Yet, there’s also this shot of a British Columbia license plate on Scott’s car.

I’m not sure what’s up with that cause I don’t really remember any specific references to say this is supposed to take place in the US. However, it’s Hallmark, so I think it’s a fair assumption they want you to believe this is the US.

Once Donna shows up then you quickly stumble across the high point of this movie. It’s not Lindsey and Scott. It’s not the little girl and her stocking that delivers plot useful items when the camera cuts. It’s not even restoring the gazebo. It’s watching Fred and Donna together.

Almost the instant she shows up, Mayor Fred knocks on the door to hit on her apparently having bought every flower at the shop for her. Really, I could and basically will just stop here and say this. The movie has the stocking delivering things from beyond, presumedly from the dead husband, to cheer up Lindsey and ultimately get the daughter a dog. Lindsey and Scott spend time together so they can end up together. The gazebo does get restored and they even get period specific Christmas lights for it. All the while we sit waiting for the scenes with Fred and Donna. They play well off each other. They aren’t wasted older actors like you see in some of these Hallmark movies. They are fun and full of life. They took what seriously is a rather dull and paint by numbers heart strings Hallmark movie and took it up a notch. I could watch a whole movie with just actors Fred Henderson and Iris Quinn together. If you’re already the Hallmark type, and you know who you are, then put up with the lackluster stuff for their scenes.

I guess there’s only a couple of other things to mention. Pay close attention to the conversation the daughter has with the mother about the dead father having wanted to get her a dog. I say this because otherwise the conversation between Lindsey and Donna at the end of the movie about the dog will leave you scratching your head thinking the daughter already knew what they say she doesn’t. I certainly was wondering and had to look back at my screenshots to figure out the subtle detail I missed.

Also, there’s a part where Donna leaves at night to go out with Fred, then we get a daytime scene with Lindsey followed by a night time scene where Donna returns from her date. Not sure if that’s a mistake or not. You’d think something simple like looking at the windows in the house when she leaves would tell you but…

some of the windows say night and the others say day, but when she returns…

those same daytime windows tell you night and in between is an unmistakable daytime scene.

Oh, well. Who cares? Donna seems to have had a really good time.

This may be called Magic Stocking and there are other plot elements here, but you are watching this for the chemistry between actors Fred Henderson and Iris Quinn. Just know that going in.