In The Lion’s Den | Through the Shattered Lens

Greetings from Lake Texoma! It’s been a relaxing week and exactly what I needed. Here’s some thoughts on what I watched out on the deck.

Abbott Elementary (Wednesday Night, ABC)

“Janine smokes weed every day!”

Finally! After being slightly disappointed with the previous episodes of Abbott Elementary, this week’s episode was definitely a return to form! Whether it was all of the teachers talking about their drugs of choice or the hilarious FADE assembly, this episode epitomized everything that makes this show special. And while Janine smoking weed every day may seem a bit unexpected, it makes sense when you consider that she dated Tariq for ten years.

American Idol (Sunday Night, ABC)

Whenever American Idol starts a new season, I always find myself saying, “Is that show still on?” Seriously, it’s been a while since American Idol was a huge part of the cultural landscape and it’s been even longer since the show introduced America to genuine talents like Kelly Clarkson and Carrie Underwood.

This season got off to an odd start, with Ryan Seacrest saying that the previous winner had put his home state of Hawaii on the map. No, Ryan — I’m pretty sure people knew about Hawaii before American Idol. As I watched the rest of the first audition episode, it occurred to me that, once again, the judges were too concerned about their own image to really offer up any sort of constructive feedback. That’s one reason why a show like this needs someone who is willing to be brutally honest and who has nothing to lose by being the show’s “villain.” Simon Cowell was a brilliant judge because he could always just hop on a plane and head back to the UK if his criticism ever turned America against him. Katy Perry, Luke Bryan, and Lionel Richie, on the other hand, all have brands that are based on being likable and not destroying people’s dreams.

Everyone who auditioned had a tragic backstory and they all did that thing were they oversold the emotion of whatever they were singing. It was kind of boring, to be honest. It’s been a long time since the show has produced a true American idol.

Bubblegum Crisis (Night Flight Plus)

Jeff and I watched an episode of this anime on Saturday morning. I have no idea what was going on in the episode but a lot of stuff blew up.

Dr. Phil (YouTube)

On Thursday night, Jeff and I watched an episode in which a woman named Lynsey accused her ex of abusing their daughter. That Lynsey was lying was pretty obvious from the start. Eventually, Lynsey got angry and stormed off stage. She came back out a bit later and accused Dr. Phil of turning her story into a “circus.” Usually, I’m totally in favor of people giving Dr. Phil a hard time but, in this case, Lynsey really was the worst.

Lauren Lake’s Paternity Court (YouTube)

He was the father! Yay! I had an episode of this playing in the background on Friday morning while I was in the process of waking up.

Law & Order (Thursday Night, NBC)

After playing the role for almost as long as I’ve been alive, Sam Waterston played Jack McCoy for the last time this week. McCoy resigned as District Attorney in order to protect his subordinates from the political fall-out of prosecuting a friend of the Mayor’s. I would have liked to have seen McCoy retire on his own terms, as opposed to being forced out. Quitting in the face of political pressure felt out of character for Jack McCoy. And the fact that he resigned to protect Price and Maroun, neither one of whom really feels worthy of the sacrifice, only adds insult to injury.

I find it interesting that almost every episode of Law & Order seems to feature a wealthy murderer. Do poor people not commit crimes in New York City?

Maury (YouTube)

“You are the father!” “You are not the father!” “You’re going to be in this baby’s life, right?” “Oh, you know it, Maury!” I watched way too much Maury on Friday and I will never forgive myself.

Night Flight (Night Flight Plus)

On Friday night, Jeff and I watched a profile of Ozzy Osbourne and Black Sabbath.

The Vanishing Shadow (Night Flight Plus)

On Friday night, Jeff and I watched another episode of this 1930s serial. Our heroes spent the entire episode fleeing gangsters.

Watched and Reviewed Elsewhere:

Baywatch Nights
Check it Out (review will be dropping in 30 minutes)
CHiPs
Fantasy Island
Friday the 13th: The Series
Highway to Heaven
In The Lion’s Den
The Love Boat
Miami Vice
Monsters
T and T
Welcome Back, Kotter

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Thursdays, I will be reviewing In The Lion’s Den, which aired on CBS in 1987. The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

Episode 1.1 “Pilot”

(Dir by James Burrows, originally aired on September 4th, 1987)

When she lived in New York City, Dana (Wendy Crewson) had an apartment, a boyfriend, and a job working as a producer on a very successful game show. But then she got fired and everything changed. Now, she has moved to San Antonio so she can work as the new associate producer of Lion’s Den, a PBS program featuring a lion puppet named Maynard.

The man behind the puppet is Keith (Dennis Boutsikaris), an infamously temperamental actor who, every day, announces that he’s quitting show business and storms off the set. Previously, it was up to Jerry (Jack Blessing) to coax Keith into returning to the set and shooting the show. But now that Jerry has a job with Steven Spielberg, it’s up to Dana to keep Keith happy.

Despite having hired her, Keith does not know who Dana is when she shows up on the set. He proceeds to re-interview her for the job, which means leering at her legs and trying to convince her to hug the puppet. Keith, I think, was meant to come across as being a charming rogue but, every time he talked to Dana, I had flashbacks to interviewing for jobs after college and all of the guys who stared at my chest and legs while I explained my passion for art history. Keith is a creep and the fact that he’s only nice when he’s talking through Maynard does nothing to change that.

It’s an eventful first day for Dana. One of the show’s sponsors (played by Fred Applegate) offers to allow Dana to rent his house but it soon turns out that he’s a bit of a sleaze. A neurotic writer (Brian Backer) fears that he’s going to lose his job because he wrote a script about football. (“I hate football!” Keith yells. Good luck living in Texas.) Proving the everyone had to start somewhere, Marcia Gay Harden plays the receptionist who helps Dana get out of having to talk to her ex-boyfriend. (“She’s meetin’ Willie Nelson.”) Harden plays the role with a Texas accent and, while it’s definitely exaggerated, she does a good job with it overall. (A quick check with Wikipedia revealed that, though born in California, Harden spent time in Texas when she was growing up and graduated from the University of Texas.) Eventually, Keith throws his daily tantrum and Dana has to find her own way to keep him from quitting show business.

The main problem with the pilot is that Keith is too much of a jerk. It’s hard to really care about someone who throws a tantrum every day, is abusive to his coworkers, and how uses an adorable puppet to sexually harass a woman who hasn’t even figured out where she’s going to be living in her new city. Personally, I think Dana should have quit as soon as Maynard demanded a hug.

And audiences agreed. This pilot aired once and that was it for In The Lion’s Den.