Hot Shots! Part Deux | Through the Shattered Lens

Topper Harley (Charlie Sheen) is back but instead of being a knock-off of Tom Cruise, he’s now Sylvester Stallone.

When two separate teams of U.S. soldiers fail to rescue a group of hostages who are being held by Saddam Hussein (Jerry Haleva, who built an entire career out of his resemblance to the Iraqi dictator), it not only embarrasses America but threatens the reelection campaign of President Tug Benson (Lloyd Bridges). President Benson can get away with throwing up on the Japanese ambassador and knocking over all the other Presidents with a shovel (though Gerald Ford falls on his own) but he can’t survive a hostage crisis. Colonel Denton Waters (Richard Crenna) and Michelle Huddleston (Brenda Bakke) attempt to recruit Topper Harley from the Buddhist monastery, where he’s been living since the disappearance of Ramada (Valeria Golino). Topper refuses to help with a third mission but, after Water is captured by Saddam, Topper does decide to lead the fourth mission. Working with Ryan Stiles and Miguel Ferrer, Topper heads into the jungle to save Colonel Waters, reunite with Ramada, and discover his destiny.

The sequel to Hot Shots! is more of the same, a non-stop cavalcade of jokes, movie references, and deadpan one liners. There are enough laugh out loud moments to make up for the jokes that don’t work. I’ll always like the moment when Charlie Sheen sees Martin Sheen on another patrol boat. (“Loved you in Wall Street!”) It’s a movie made in the vein of Airplane! but the jokes aren’t as timeless as in that classic. Everyone remembers Rambo enough to get the main joke and the interrogation scene in Basic Instinct has left enough of an impression that Topper’s “I know what to get your for Christmas,” comment to Michelle still draws a chuckle but do you remember Body of Evidence and the first President Bush vomiting at a state dinner? Not all of the jokes have aged well but Charlie Sheen does a decent Rambo impersonation and Lloyd Bridges’s dim bulb President is one of the more relatable parts of the movie. Fortunately, jokes about Saddam Hussein getting flattened by a piano will always be funny.

americathon

Since we already looked at 8 fictional presidents who were terrible at their job, here are 5 fictional presidents who were surprisingly good at their job.

1) President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho (Terry Crews) in Idiocracy (2006)

Sure, it’s easy to be critical of President Comacho. During his presidency, there was famine, pestilence, death, and a total economic collapse. His decision to irrigate the nation’s crops with sports drink called Brawndo did not help. When Secretary of Interior Not Sure (Luke Wilson) decided to use water on the crops, instead of Brawndo, President Comacho sentenced him to die in a monster truck rally. President Comacho did many things that we might disagree with but he was just giving the people what they want. During the Comacho administration the people were happy. Stupid but happy. To his credit, when shown filmed proof that the water making crops grow better than Brawndo, President Comacho pardoned Not Sure and appointed him Vice President. A good President always surrounds himself with the best and the brightest people available.

2) President Thomas “Tug” Benson (Lloyd Bridges) in Hot Shots! Part Deux (1993)

What can we say about President Thomas “Tug” Benson that hasn’t already been said? The former admiral did many controversial things as President. He complained that his ambassadors always left the country right after he appointed them. He nearly invaded Minnesota. He mistook the first lady for a spy. He hit every other living President with a shovel (except for Gerald Ford, who just fell down on his own). But what other President could swim to Iraq and personally engage Saddam Hussein in a light saber duel? To quote President Benson, “We’ll do this the old Navy way. First man to die, loses!”

3) President Chet Roosevelt (John Ritter) in Americathon (1979)

When Chet Roosevelt is elected president, the former governor of California brings a sunny disposition, an optimistic outlook, and an encyclopedic knowledge of affirmative sayings to the White House. America needs it because all of the oil has dried up, many of its citizens are living out of their cars, and a cartel of wealthy Native Americans are threatening to repossess the entire country unless their money is paid back. How does President Roosevelt save the country? First, he smokes a joint. After that, he puts together a telethon — an Americathon — to raise the money to save the country! Teddy and FDR would be proud!

4) President Taffy Dale (Natalie Portman) in Mars Attacks! (1996)

At the end of Mars Attacks!, 15 year-old Taffy Dale succeeds to the presidency after her father, President James Dale, is killed the Martians. That may not be constitutional and Taffy is legally too young to serve but since there are only 10 people left alive at the movie and Tom Jones doesn’t want the job, an exception to the rules can be made. By awarding the medal of honor to Richie Norris and his grandmother, President Taffy Dale lets those 10 people know that America will rebuild.

5) President John “Bluto” Blutarsky (John Belushi) in National Lampoon’s Animal House (1978) and Where Are They Now?: A Delta Alumni Update (2003)

We should only be so lucky.

President Blutarsky