Live Tweet Alert: Join #ScarySocial for The Crow!

Posted on January 20, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

As some of our regular readers undoubtedly know, I am involved in a few weekly live tweets on twitter. I host #FridayNightFlix every Friday, I co-host #ScarySocial on Saturday, and I am one of the five hosts of #MondayActionMovie! Every week, we get together. We watch a movie. We tweet our way through it.

Tonight, at 9 pm et, Tim Buntley will be hosting #ScarySocial! The movie? 1994’s The Crow!

If you want to join us this Friday, just hop onto twitter, start the movie at 9 pm et, and use the #ScarySocial hashtag! I’ll be there tweeting and I imagine some other members of the TSL Crew will be there as well. It’s a friendly group and welcoming of newcomers so don’t be shy.

The Crow is available on Prime!

See you there!

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Friday the 13th 1.15 “Vanity’s Mirror”

Posted on January 19, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Friday the 13th, a show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990. The show can be found on YouTube!

This week’s episode is a classic of teen angst, vanity, and murder!

Episode 1.15 “Vanity’s Mirror”

(Dir by William Fruet, originally aired on February 29th, 1988)

Poor Helen Mackie (played by Ingrid Veninger)!

A student at Hamilton High, the shy and physically awkward Helen is as unpopular as her older and far more attractive sister, Joanne (Gwendoline Pacey), is popular. Helen has a crush on Scott Thomas (David Orth), who is Joanne’s boyfriend but little does she suspect that Scott is only nice to her because he’s trying to impress her sister. Scott’s friends, including Russell (who is played by Simon Reynolds, who also played Murray the bagboy on Check It Out!), all make fun of Helen and the fact that no one has asked her to prom.

However, things are about to change for Helen because she has gotten her hands on a gold compact. All she has to do is open the compact and shine the mirror in a boy’s direction and the boy will automatically fall in love with her. It happens with Russell. It happens with Greg (Zack Ward). And Helen hopes that it will happen with Scott as well. Of course, as with all the cursed antiques, there is a catch. Helen is driven to murder anyone who is in love with her.

Needless to say, Jack, Micki, and Ryan all show up and try to get the compact from Helen before she can use it to score a prom date. But this episode truly is Helen’s story and it is dominated by Ingrid Veninger’s performance as Helen. At first, it’s impossible not to feel sorry for Helen. Everyone at school is so cruel to her that you’re on her side. But once Helen actually starts using the mirror and killing her boyfriends, she becomes far less sympathetic. She gets way too much enjoyment out of killing people and the viewer is left to wonder if it was the cursed antique that corrupted Helen or if perhaps Helen is only now showing her true self. Has Helen always been evil or is she simply lashing out at a world that has always treated her like an outsider? It’s a fair question and not one that is easily answered.

In the end, having finally stolen her sister’s boyfriend and gotten the prom date that she always wanted, Helen climbs to the roof of her high school and then plunges to her death, taking Scott with her. Micki, Jack, and Ryan can only watch helplessly and then, to top it all off, the compact disappears once again. Someone (we don’t see their face) spots it on the ground and grabs it. Considering that the episode opened with Ryan and Jack finally rather cocky about their recent successes, this episode ends with a reminder that good does not always triumph.

In other words, this is a very dark episode but also a very effective one. If nothing else, it’s an episode that shows us why it’s so important to track down and take possession of the cursed antiques. There are a lot of Helen Mackies in the world.

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Monsters 1.6 “Their Divided Self”

Posted on January 17, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing Monsters, which aired in syndication from 1988 to 1991. The entire show is streaming on Tubi.

This week, it’s the worst episode of Monsters yet!

Episode 1.16 “Their Divided Self”

(Dir by Frank De Palma, originally aired on February 25th, 1989)

Bleh.

James (David L. Lander) and Robert Self (Keith MacKechnie) are conjoined twins who found fame as a stand-up comedy team but who now spend all of their time isolated in their mansion and arguing with each other. They hate one another but they’re literally stuck with each other. And, since they share the same lungs and heart, they can’t really fight with each other.

James’s girlfriend (Karen Harber) hires Dr. Blackman (Rich Hall) to help the twins but even Dr. Blackman’s years of psychiatric experience can’t seem to convince the twins to stop bickering. However, when Dr. Blackman says that he wants to write a book about the twins, the twins announce that they resent being exploited and they kill the doctor. It’s a murder that brings them together as siblings.

The end.

This was a dumb and pointless episode and I’m not going to waste too much time on it. Making conjoined twins into the episode’s “monster,” just feels wrong on so many levels. What feels even more wrong is not really doing anything interesting with them. If you’re villain is going to be borderline offensive, at least find a way to make the character interesting. There’s probably an interesting story to be found in the idea of two conjoined twins hating but needing each other but this episode is not served well by either its script or its performances. (Some really shoddy FX doesn’t help either. From the minute they appear, their big, boxy suit makes it obvious that the two actors are just standing next to each other.)

Hopefully, next week’s episode will be better.

Live Tweet Alert: Watch Polaroid with #ScarySocial

Posted on January 13, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Tonight, for #ScarySocial, Deanna Dawn will be hosting 2019’s Polaroid!

If you want to join us on Saturday night, just hop onto twitter, start the film at 9 pm et, and use the #ScarySocial hashtag! The film is available on Prime. I’ll probably be there and I imagine some other members of the TSL Crew will be there as well. It’s a friendly group and welcoming of newcomers so don’t be shy.

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Friday the 13th 1.14 “Bedazzled”

Posted on January 12, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week’s episode of Friday the 13th is …. well, it’s not that good. Let’s talk about it.

Episode 1.14 “Bedazzled”

(Dir by Alexander Singer, originally aired on February 22nd, 1988)

With Jack and Ryan out of town to attend an astrology convention, Micki has got the antique store to herself …. or, at least, she does until she agrees to babysit a bratty kid named Richie (Gavan Magrath). Even worse than Richie are Jonah (Alan Jordan) and Tom (David Mucci), who claim to be telephone repairmen but who are actually at the store because they want to retrieve a cursed lantern that was taken from them by Jack and Ryan.

(Incidentally, they kill the real telephone repairman before showing up at the store. The real repairman is played Timothy Webber, who played Mo in Terror Train. Meanwhile, Dave Mucci played Wendy’s thuggish boyfriend in Prom Night. So, if nothing else, this episode is a footnote of sorts in Canadian slasher history.)

The cursed lantern is probably the lamest antique that the show has featured up to this point. Using the lantern, undersea divers can find hidden treasure. But after finding treasure, the lantern then has to set someone on fire. (Basically, after hidden treasure is found, anyone who is touched by a beam of the lantern’s light will burst into flames.) The man problem is that the lantern is so big and bulky that Jonah just looks silly whenever he picks it up and aims the lantern’s fiery light at anyone. It is a seriously awkward and rather impractical weapon, one that appears to not only be impossible to aim but also next to impossible to run with as well. Add to that, it turns out that the beam of light can diverted by a mirror so it’s not only a lame item but an easily defeated one as well.

It’s a shame that this episode isn’t better. Micki may have the best hair and the best fashion sense of anyone on the show but it’s rare that she ever really gets an episode all to herself. But this episode saddles her down not only with forgettable villains and an impractical cursed item but it also forces her to deal with a bratty kid. The kid survives his night at store and, by all logic, he should be traumatized for life. Instead, he tells his mother about everything that happened and his mother laughs about what a great imagination he has. Seriously, though, shouldn’t Micki have some magic wand that she could use to erase Richie’s memory or something? It seems kind of dangerous to let a kid that bratty know that the store is full of magic items.

Anyway, this was a forgettable episode so I’m keeping the review short tonight! Fortunately, next week’s episode will be much better.

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Monsters 1.15 “The Mother Instinct”

Posted on January 10, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week’s episode of Monsters is all about killer worms!

Agck! Seriously, nothing freaks me out more than carnivorous creatures that slither around. Obviously, most worms are too small to be dangerous and I assume the same can be sound of most snails. Still, thought of giant worms bursting out of the ground and eating people …. I mean, obviously, it might make a good film but it’s not something that I would necessarily want to see in person. If I ever saw something like that happens in my back yard, for instance, I would probably have to move to another house. That would suck because I like this house. Seriously, killer worms, stay away!

Anyway, where were we? Oh yeah, the show….

Episode 1.15 “The Mother Instinct”

(Dir by Bette Gordon, originally aired on February 18th, 1989)

Nelson (Tom Gilory) is a real loser. He’s a loser in business and a loser in life. He’s got a gambling addiction and, despite being married to the loyal Sheila (Finn Carter), he simply cannot bring himself to remain faithful to his wife. Nelson is in debt and desperately needs money. His original plan is to ask his wealthy mother-in-law (Elizabeth Franz) for the money but she can see straight through him and refuses to give him a cent.

However, Nelson discovers that his mother-in-law has been growing melons in her green house that can provide temporary, superhuman strength. (Usually, the mother-in-law is confined to a wheelchair but, whenever she drinks the super-powered melon juice, she can walk and literally toss people around her house.) Nelson wants to steal the melons and sell them. His mother-in-law refuses to give her permission so Nelson forces Sheila to help him steal them.

What Nelson didn’t expect was that the melons would be protected by carnivorous worms! Nelson pressures Sheila to discover how her mother-in-law deals with the killer worms but it turns out that his mother-in-law has one last trick up her sleeve. “Never miss with a mother’s instinct,” Nelson’s mother-in-law says as the episode reaches its tasty conclusion.

This episode suffered from being a bit rushed, which is something that happens when a show attempts to tell an hour-length story in only 20 minutes. The killer worms were a bit too obviously puppet-like to really be scary but they still had their own silly charm to them. Sometimes, you just have to be willing to accept that you’re watching a low-budget production and you need to just enjoy it for what it is. Nelson was so obviously villainous that it made it difficult to believe that even insecure Sheila couldn’t see through him but at least he met his just deserts.

Incidentally, a year after appearing in this episode, Finn Carter starred in a movie that featured slightly more frightening killer worms, Tremors.

Live Tweet Alert: Watch The Believers With #ScarySocial!

Posted on January 6, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Tonight, for #ScarySocial, I will be hosting 1987’s The Believers, starring Martin Sheen!

If you want to join us on Saturday night, just hop onto twitter, start the film at 9 pm et, and use the #ScarySocial hashtag! The film is available on Prime and Tubi!. I’ll be there co-hosting and I imagine some other members of the TSL Crew will be there as well. It’s a friendly group and welcoming of newcomers so don’t be shy.

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Friday the 13th 1.13 “The Baron’s Bride”

Posted on January 5, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Micki and Ryan go to 1870s London!

Episode 1.13 “The Baron’s Bride”

(Dir by Bradford May, originally aired on February 15th, 1988)

The latest cursed antique that Jack has decided to retrieve is a cursed cape. As Jack explains it, any man who wears the cape will automatically become irresistible to women. So, with that in mind, why does Jack take Ryan and Micki with him? Wouldn’t it make more sense to leave Micki at home and just bring Ryan who, as a guy, would be immune to the cape’s powers?

Seriously, Jack did not think this through!

As well, Jack also doesn’t know the full extent of the cape’s power. It not only makes the wearer irresistible to women but it also turns him into a vampire. And if blood gets on the cape’s brooch, the vampire and anyone near him will be transported into the past.

Jack, Ryan, and Micki arrives the home of Marie Simmons (Diana Barrington), just in time to see her giving the cape to her new boarder, Frank Edwards (Tom McCamus). Of course, as soon as Micki sees Frank, she falls under her spell. When Marie attacks Micki, she cuts Micki’s cheek. Micki’s blood hits Frank’s brooch and they (along with Ryan) are transported into the past.

All three of them end up in London in 1870. While Frank stalks victims on the streets of London, Micki and Ryan team up with a young writer named — *ahem* — Abraham (Kevin Bundy) and his wife, Caitlin (Susannah Hoffman). Frank is determined to find Micki and, because Frank is still wearing the cape, Micki once again finds herself falling under Frank’s spell.

This is an excellent and atmospheric episode. As soon as Ryan, Micki, and Frank are transported to London, the show switches from color to black-and-white and the story plays out like a macabre Universal horror film. The episode is full of scenes of Frank running in slow motion towards his victims and revealing his fangs as he snarls at his enemies and Tom McCamus gives a wonderfully sinister performance as the innocent boarder turned vampire. This episode packs a lot action into just 45 minutes of screen time and Micki and Ryan (and Robey and John D. LeMay) again prove themselves to be a good team.

The episode ends with a neat, if predictable twist. Back in the present day, Jack asks Micki and Ryan if they happened to learn Abraham’s last name. When they reply that they only knew him by his first name, Jack reveals that they spent their time in London working with Bram Stoker. So, in their way, Micki and Ryan are responsible for Dracula! Woo hoo! Way to go, guys!

This was a great and fun episode. Episodes like this make me glad that I decided to review this show.

One final note: Keep an eye out for Friday the 13th — A New Beginning‘s John Shepherd as a police constable.

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Monsters 1.14 “Parents From Space”

Posted on January 3, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week on Monsters, peace-loving aliens crash land on Earth and meet some really unlikable people. Hmmm …. didn’t we just do this last week?

Episode 1.14 “Parents From Space”

(Dir by Gerald Cotts, originally aired on February 11th, 1989)

Poor Cindy (Mary Griffin)!

Cindy is a sweet-natured and caring orphan who is treated like a slave by her cruel foster parents, Ward (Frank Gorshin) and June (Peggy Cass). Ward and June don’t care about Cindy. All they care about is the money that they make for taking care of her. When the social worker visits, they pretend to be a sweet, old couple. When the social worker leaves, they treat Cindy like a slave and refuses to even show a hint of compassion when Cindy’s beloved hamster is seriously injured.

Fortunately, there are two rat-like aliens in the basement. Their spaceship crashed and their bodies cannot handle Earth’s atmosphere. In order to find a way home, the rats temporarily switch minds with Ward and June. In the rat bodies, Ward and June enter into a catatonic state. In the human bodies, the two rats try to figure out how to survive and escape.

The two rats turn out to be a lot nicer than Ward and June and they even heal the hamster. Cindy loves her foster rat parents but she’s disappointed when the two rats say that they are going to have to switch bodies again. As they explain it, it is simply not ethical for them to leave Ward and June in the rat’s bodies, especially since the rat bodies can’t survive on Earth for too long. Cindy responds by disintegrating the rat’s bodies (and, of course, the minds of Ward and June). The rats remain in the human bodies. When a social worker shows up to check in on the living situation, she discovers a very happy family but also a very messy house. The rats may be in human bodies but they are still rats.

This is an incredibly simple story with a one-joke premise. It’s a fun episode but it also feels a bit rushed due to the 20-minute runtime. Ward and June are such terrible foster parents that there’s never really any doubt as to what Cindy is going to do. I think a lot of people who grew up with abusive parents (foster or not) will definitely find a lot of wish-fulfillment in this episode. Cindy has terrible parents but she gets to trade them in for a better set.

The best thing about this episode was definitely the rats themselves. For a low-budget show, Monsters usually had effective creature effects. Just check out these two: