The Films of 2026: Return To Silent Hill (dir by Chrstophe Gans)


Alcoholic painter James Sunderland (Jeremy Irvine) is consumed with bad memories.  He remembers the time that he met Mary Crane (Hannah Emily Anderson) at a bus stop on a mountain that overlooked the idyllic town of Silent Hill.  He remembers falling in love with Mary.  He remembers living in Silent Hill with her.  And he remembers the circumstances that led to him leaving the town without her.  Now, James spends him time in bars and dodges meetings with his therapist (Nicola Alexis).

Then, from seemingly out of nowhere, James receives a letter from Mary, asking him to return to Silent Hill and to save her.  He heads into a town that is far different from the place that he remembers.  A permanent mist now fills the streets of Silent Hill and ash continually falls from the sky.  Every time static is heard on a radio, it means that something dangerous is nearby.  Monsters emerge from the darkness.  James meets a variety of people, from the slovenly Eddie (Pearse Egan) to Maria (Hannah Emily Anderson), who looks enough like Mary that they could be sisters.  (And, as you already noticed, both Mary and Maria are played by the same actress.)

It’s a deadly and dangerous town.  Myself, if I had been lucky enough to get out of Silent Hill the first time, I would probably never return.  However, James has his own guilt and personal demons to confront….

Return to Silent Hill is based on a video game, Silent Hill 2.  Now, before I say anything else, I should make clear that I have not played Silent Hill 2.  I’ve been told that the film sticks to the basics of the game’s plot while changing some very important details.  The biggest change appears to be that Return to Silent Hill features the cult from the earlier Silent Hill game (and film) whereas Silent Hill 2 did not.  From what I’ve read, that’s actually a pretty big change and it actually alters the way that some of James’s actions are interpreted.  I don’t want to spoil the film but I will say that I can understand why fans of the game were not particularly happy with the movie.

As for the movie itself, it has some effective moments.  The Silent Hill imagery is undeniably creepy.  After watching the movie, I took a nap and I actually had a nightmare about a killer with a pyramid head.  I have Return to Silent Hill to thank for that.  (Thanks a lot, movie!)  But, my goodness, is this ever a slow film!  If any movie needed to be a 70-minute animated film, it was Return to Silent Hill.  Instead, excluding the end credits, it’s a 94-minute live action film that feels considerably longer.  Hannah Emily Anderson is boring as Mary but considerably better as Maria.  Jeremy Irvine delivers his lines with a bland blankness.  The faceless, acid-bleeding zombie thing had more personality.

A lot of effort was obviously made to capture the look of the video game while shooting Return to Silent Hill.  I actually appreciated the filmmakers dedication to the film’s visual style.  That said, the end result was that watching the film felt a lot like watching someone else play a video game.  It’s slightly interesting at first but eventually, you just want to grab the controller and steal a car of your own.

What Lisa Watched Last Night #216: The Danger Next Door (dir by Bill Corcoran)


Last night, I watched the latest Lifetime film, The Danger Next Door!

Why Was I Watching It?

Because it was on Lifetime, of course!  It’s been a while since I’ve gotten a chance to watch a Lifetime film on the night that it aired.  Seriously, my DVR is full of Lifetime films right now and waiting for me to dig into them come November.

What Was It About?

After getting mugged, pregnant Robin (Hannah Emily Anderson) and her husband, Ben (Jake Epstein) move to a small town.  At first, the town seems perfect but it’s hard not to notice that their next door neighbors, Guy (David Ferry) and Sharon (Kyra Harper), are a little bit too friendly.  Anyone who has watched a Lifetime film knows that no one that nice can be trusted and that’s certainly the case here.

What Worked?

I always love a good “small towns are evil” Lifetime film so, in that regard, The Danger Next Door delivered exactly what I wanted.  The town was pretty, the houses were big, and the melodrama was embraced.  Yay!

The film also featured Jake Epstein, playing a sympathetic character for once!  Epstein previously played Craig Manning on Degrassi.  I’ve seen him in a lot of other movies and shows since then but he’ll always be Craig to me!  Craig was one of the best characters on Degrassi, a bipolar musician with drug problems and a habit of breaking everyone’s heart.  I always hoped that Craig and Ellie would get together, though I do think Ashley was Craig’s soul mate.  Anyway, where was I?  Oh yeah, Jake Epstein was in this movie and it was good to see him!

What Did Not Work?

Towards the end of the movie, there were a few plot twists that demanded a lot of suspension of disbelief, even for a Lifetime film.

“Oh my God!  Just like me!” Moments

I have never been mugged but, when I was 16 years old, the house that I was living in was burglarized.  My mom, my sisters, and I woke up one morning to discover that the garage door was open, the microwave was missing, and someone had emptied out my mom’s purse.  Even more than that, though, they stole our feeling of being secure in our home.  I had nightmares for weeks afterwards and I even took to sleeping with a baseball bat next to my bed.  However, the bat was a bit heavy so, after a few days, I switched it out for a golf club.

One night, I thought I heard someone creeping outside my bedroom door at 3 in the morning.  I got up, grabbed my golf club, and creeped over to the door.  I took a deep breath, raised the club over my head, threw the door open, and swung at the first dark shadow that I saw.

“What the Hell, Lisa Marie!?” Erin exclaimed, as she (rather easily) avoided the club.

Looking back at it, I’m glad that I didn’t hit my sister in the face with a golf club.  I would have felt bad about that.  But there’s no worse feeling than having some stranger invade your personal safe place.  All these years later, I’m still a fanatic when it comes to locking all the doors, checking all the windows, and making sure I’ve got a golf club near the bed.

The movie did a good job of capturing that trauma.  I could definitely relate to Robin’s fears.

Lessons Learned

Never move to a small town.  No matter how bad and scary the city gets, it’s still safer than living in a small town.