STRIPPED TO KILL – 35 years later!


If you were a teenage boy in the 80’s, and you spent time at video stores, there’s no doubt in my mind that you noticed the VHS box for STRIPPED TO KILL. I certainly did! The box art promised violence and sexy women, and I was all in. I’m guessing that I watched the film when I was around 15 or 16 years old, and I hadn’t seen it since then. A few weeks back, we were recording an episode of our THIS WEEK IN CHARLES BRONSON PODCAST when actress Kay Lenz came up in reference to her part in DEATH WISH 4: THE CRACKDOWN. One of my buddies also mentioned her part in STRIPPED TO KILL. With that seed planted, I decided to give it another viewing and find out what sort of difference an additional 35 years would make in the viewing experience. 

Not surprisingly, STRIPPED TO KILL opens with a beautiful young lady named Angel performing a striptease act to an extremely 80’s song called “Deny the Night.” I’ll give Larry Steicher his credit because he was singing the hell out of the song on the soundtrack. A little later, the stripper gets a phone call from someone she knows asking her to meet. When she shows up to meet this mystery person, they throw gasoline on her and burn her alive. Detective Cody Sheenan (Kay Lenz) and her partner Detective Heineman (Greg Evigan) are working undercover in the area and come across this assault and murder in the act, but the killer gets away. When the two cops find out that the victim was a stripper at the Rock Bottom Dance Club, they want the case. Through a series of events, including Cody winning an “Amateur Night” contest, she’s able to go undercover at the club where she gets to know the dancers. Detective Heineman hangs out as well in order to protect her, and I think, to get a look at her performances. Our two undercover cops immediately begin to learn the backgrounds of the ladies at the club, and they also investigate any suspicious characters they see hanging around. When another stripper is murdered, and with several suspects beginning to emerge, it’s a race against time to see if they can catch the killer before other strippers have to die! 

I will say right off the bat that STRIPPED TO KILL delivers on the box art. There are multiple strippers killed, and by my count, there are 12 different striptease performances of various quality and duration throughout the course of the 88 minute film. And the cast is downright impressive for a low-budget B-movie like this. Kay Lenz is a fine actress with an impressive resume of TV and films, including productions like Clint Eastwood’s BREEZY, WHITE LINE FEVER with Jan-Michael Vincent, THE GREAT SCOUT & CATHOUSE THURSDAY with Lee Marvin, and FAST-WALKING with James Woods. As referenced in an earlier paragraph, she co-starred with Charles Bronson in DEATH WISH 4: THE CRACKDOWN the same year that she filmed STRIPPED TO KILL. Two classics in the same year is something every actor should hope for, and she doesn’t hold back in her performance here! Greg Evigan was in a show I liked very much when I was a kid called B.J. AND THE BEAR. I also remember him in that show MY TWO DADS when I was a teenager as well. He’s not a great actor, but he’s fine here. And then there’s Norman Fell, Mr. Roper himself, as the manager of the strip club. I have a soft spot for Norman because he played Charles Bronson’s boss in the 1973 film THE STONE KILLER, a film that also features John Ritter in a small role. Norman probably needed the paycheck, but he’s definitely a welcome presence in the film. 

This is the directorial debut of actress Katt Shea. She co-wrote the script for STRIPPED TO KILL with her then husband Andy Ruben. She apparently got the idea for the film when she lost a bet with Andy and ended up actually going to a strip club. She was so impressed with some of the performances that she wanted to make a movie showing the ladies in that world. Katt Shea would later direct films like POISON IVY with Drew Barrymore and THE RAGE: CARRIE 2. And, of course, the biggest factor in getting the movie made, Katt Shea was able to convince the legendary Roger Corman to produce the film. STRIPPED TO KILL would turn into a financially successful film for Corman. It was particularly successful overseas and on the home video market. Nice investment, Mr. Corman!

Overall, STRIPPED TO KILL delivers exactly what it promises, and it does so in 1 hour and 28 minutes. That’s a pretty nice combination in my book. I think I felt the same way in 1989 as well!

Adventures in Cleaning Out the DVR: 16 and Missing (dir by Michael Feifer)


16-And-Missing

Continuing my efforts to clean out the DVR, I followed up A Teacher’s Obsession by watching 16 and Missing.  16 and Missing originally aired on the Lifetime network on October 24th.  On that particularly Saturday, I was haunting a Halloween party (booooo!), so I set the DVR to record it.

In many ways, 16 and Missing is a quintessential Lifetime film.  It’s about a rebellious teenage girl who has a loving (and underappreciated) mother and a stepfather who is trying way too hard to serve as a replacement patriarchal figure.  It also features an initially charming man who later turns out to be a complete psycho.  There’s a lot of driving, an important life lesson, and a lot of gunplay.  At the end of the movie, the mother is proven right and everyone hugs and strangely enough, nobody seems to be all that traumatized by all of the truly terrible things that have just happened to them.  None of that, by the way, is meant to be a criticism.  Lifetime movies are a genre all their own and part of the fun comes from their familiarity.

16 and Missing also deals with a common Lifetime movie theme — i.e., that the internet is an evil place that exists only to lead teenage girls astray.  In this case, spoiled rotten Abbey (Lizze Broadway) has been using her social media accounts to carry on a two-year, online affair Gavin (Mark Hupka), who claims to be a 23 year-old cop.  After Abbey has a fight with her mother, former FBI agent Julia (Ashley Scott), Abbey decides to run away from home.  She sneaks out of the house, gets in her car, and drives off to Arizona…

And what immediately bothered me was the fact that Abbey didn’t pack anything before she ran way.  Admittedly, this probably says more about me than the movie.  I’m just saying that if I had ever run away from home and headed for a different state, I would have brought along a change of clothes.

But anyway, Abbey meets up with Gavin and is shocked to discover that Gavin is a little bit older than 23.  And he might not be a cop.  And his name might actually be Wesley.  And, as soon as she shows up, Gavin/Wesley immediately starts pressuring her to have sex…

Okay, so it’s pretty obvious that Gavin/Wesley wasn’t everything that he said he was and, to the film’s credit, Abbey quickly figures this out.  As opposed to a lot of similar Lifetime films (in which the teenage girl is always presented as being far too naive to be believable), 16 and Missing makes it clear that Abbey is a girl who made an impulsive mistake, who understands that she made an impulsive mistake, but who has now found herself trapped by that impulsive mistake.

However, Abbey and Wes-Gavin do have one thing in common.  They both lost their fathers in the most violent and disturbing ways possible.  Gavin’s father was a cop and Gavin claims that he was shot in the head by his partner.  Abbey’s father was abducted and murdered while a 6 year-old Abbey helplessly watched.  Could the two events be connected?  It wouldn’t be a Lifetime film if they weren’t.

But don’t worry!  After breaking into her daughter’s social media accounts, Julia is on the road to Arizona and she’s got a gun…

Anyway, 16 and Missing was an entertaining Lifetime film.  If you’re into Lifetime films, especially ones that present the internet as being the root of all evil, you should enjoy this one.  And if you’re not into Lifetime movies, you probably wouldn’t be watching in the first place.

What Lisa Watched Last Night #87: Invasion Roswell


Last night, I forever lost 2 hours of my life because I watched the latest SyFy “original” film, Invasion Roswell, with my friends, the Snarkalecs.

Why Was I Watching It?

When I first heard the title of the latest SyFy film, I thought to myself, “Roswell!?  I kinda remember that show!”  However, I quickly realized that — other than taking place in New Mexico and featuring aliens — Invasion Roswell had nothing to do with Katherine Heigl’s old TV show.

Invasion Roswell was actually broadcast on Thursday night.  As we’ve been doing ever since SyFy stopped showing original films on Saturday, the Snarkalecs dvred Invasion Roswell when it first premiered and then we actually watched (and live-tweeted) it on Saturday.

Why did we do this?

Because that’s what we do.

It’s an existential thing.

What Was It About?

This film was a combination Red and about every single alien invasion film that’s even been made.  Aliens invade the Earth and naturally, they chose to destroy large parts of London and Paris (take that, Europe!), as well as Washington D.C.  (take that, IRS!).  It turns out that the only people who can defeat this threat are a bunch of old alien hunters who have been previously forced to retire by a random corporate guy in a suit.

So, while Patrick (Greg Evigan) and Linda (Denise Crosby) attempt to get the old gang of gun-wielding geezers back together again, the aliens continue to progressively conquer every inch of the planet.

(Except for Canada, of course.  Canada’s tough!)

What Worked?

The aliens themselves were effective, especially when compared to some of the invaders who have populated previous SyFy films.  Clad in black armor and firing blue laser beams, the aliens managed to be intimidating and campy at the same time.

The Snarkalecs managed to get Invasion Roswell trending on twitter during the entire two hours we spent watching it.  It was fun to watch non-snarkalecs try to figure out why Invasion Roswell was trending.  “Have we been invaded?!” one random dumbfug toadsucker tweeted.  Seriously, some people are stupid.

What Did Not Work?

Invasion Roswell was literally one of the slowest movies that I have ever seen on SyFy.  A typical SyFy film accomplishes more in 10 minutes than Invasion Roswell did in 85 minutes.  Between the slow pace, the predictable storyline, and the uninteresting characters, there really weren’t many opportunities for Invasion Roswell to actually be entertaining.

As a result, my tweets suffered.  Usually, I think I’m a pretty lively force when it comes to live-tweeting SyFy films but, when it came to Invasion Roswell, I found myself struggling to stay awake.

To put it another way, I thought Heebie Jeebies was bad until I saw Invasion Roswell.

“Oh my God!  Just like me!” Moments

When I was little, my family very briefly lived in New Mexico.  However, we were in Carlsbad and, as a result, I don’t think we ever met any aliens.  Then again, we were citizens of New Mexico for only a few months so maybe we could have met some aliens if we had just stuck around long enough.  I guess that’s just going to have to be one of life’s mysteries.

Otherwise, there were no “Oh my God!  Just like me!” moments in Invasion Roswell. Maybe someday, when I’m as old as Denise Crosby, I’ll be able to relate to this film.

Lessons Learned

I can forgive a lot of things but I cannot forgive dullness.