Don’t Open Till Christmas | Through the Shattered Lens

It’s a holiday and you know what that means!

Or maybe you don’t. Sometimes, I forget that not everyone can read my mind. Anyway, I used to do a weekly post of my favorite grindhouse trailers. Eventually, it went from being a weekly thing to being an occasional thing, largely due to the fact that there’s only so many trailers available on YouTube. Now, Lisa Marie’s Favorite Grindhouse and Exploitation Film Trailers is something that I usually bring out on a holiday.

Like today!

So, here are 6 trailers for the holiday season!

Christmas Evil (1980)

Believe it or not, this is actually a really good movie. In fact, it’s probably the best killer Santa movie ever made. The ending will blow your mind.

Don’t Open Till Christmas (1984)

This, on the other hand, is one of the worst Christmas movies ever. I reviewed it a few years ago.

Black Christmas (1974)

Long before he made A Christmas Story, Bob Clark directed this classic holiday-themed horror film.

Black Christmas (2006)

Of course, as happens with any classic Canadian horror film from the 70s, Black Christmas was remade in the aughts.

Santa Claus Conquers The Martians (1964)

There was no way that I wasn’t going to include this trailer.

And finally, we have a trailer that’s not really a Christmas film but it’s so trippy, festive, and oddly disturbing that I had to share it.

Pinocchio’s Birthday Party (1973)

Happy holidays!

This week’s edition of Lisa Marie’s Favorite Grindhouse and Exploitation Trailers features sinful dwarves, dead Santas, the Peter Cushing Guide To Getting Laid, and the voice of John Carradine!

1) The Sinful Dwarf

How can you not be enthusiastic about a film with a title like “The Sinful Dwarf?” That said, I think Peter Dinklage could kick this guy’s ass. This was apparently a “lost film” until a copy was found in a janitor’s closet in Denmark. “What do you think of the blonde?” “hahahahahahaha”

2) Don’t Go In The House

This is actually a rather depressing rip-off of Maniac. The trailer makes it look a lot more interesting (and fun) than it actually is. Which, of course, is what a trailer is supposed to do. (The DVD, by the way, features a pretty interesting interview with the star of this film, Dan Grimaldi.)

3) Corruption

“No women will dare go home alone after seeing Corruption!” That’s right, boys, go see Corruption and you will get laid! You can say a silent prayer of thanks to Peter Cushing after…By the way, I’m planning on seeing Corruption on DVD but I’ll be sure to watch it at a male’s house or apartment in order to make sure that I have someone to escort me home afterward. So, if any of you guys out there have an hour or two to kill (so to speak)…

4) Swamp Girl

I like this trailer and I have a feeling I might find something to enjoy in the actual film is just because I come from a long line of swamp girls. That said, I don’t think I could be one myself. There’s too many little buggies and things flying around the swamp.

Is the haunting Theme From Swamp Girl stuck in your head now?

5) Journey Into The Beyond

In previous editions of Lisa Marie’s Favorite Grindhouse and Exploitation Trailers, I haven’t highlighted any of the several hundred mondo film trailers that are out there because I kind of agree with something that Giovanni Lombardo Radice said: mondo movies are a remnant of fascism. And they are. But, I had to include Journey Into The Beyond here because how can you not enjoy listening to John Carradine?

6) Don’t Open Till Christmas

If you happen to watch an Italian or Spanish slasher film made between 1979 and 1983, there’s a fairly good chance that Edmund Purdom will turn out to be the killer. Well, I guess Purdom got sick of being typecast because, in 1983, he directed a film of his own and it’s a holiday film!