Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Check It Out 1.18 “Store Wars”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing the Canadian sitcom, Check it Out, which ran in syndication from 1985 to 1988.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, both Cobb’s and Edna get some competition!

Episode 1.18 “Store Wars”

(Dir by John Bell, originally aired on February 12th, 1986)

Odd episode, this week.

After having a fight with Howard, Edna abruptly leaves town for Florida.  Apparently, this is something that she does frequently.  (We are 18 episodes in and this show has yet to come up with a consistent portrayal of Howard and Edna’s relationship.)  I have to admit that I’ve never worked retail so I’m not totally sure how these things work but can you just stop going to work whenever you feel like it and still have a job?  It seems like this is the sort of thing that would get most people fired.  Maybe it’s different when you’re sleeping with the boss.

Anyway, Howard gets a new secretary and he is shocked to discover that Irene (Cynthia Belliveau) is young and attractive and totally into him.  Soon, Howard is wearing an earring, sunglasses, and dressing like Bruce Springsteen.  Irene even teaches Howard how to do yoga.

All of this leads to Howard getting distracted from the latest work crisis.  A new store has opened up across the street.  Just Food sells …. well, just food.  There are no bag boys or special displays or anything else that would cost any extra money so Just Food can lower their prices.  Soon, all of Cobb’s customers are going to Just Food!  Even when Christian lowers the prices at Cobb’s, Just Food lowers their prices even more.  Is it possible that Just Food could have a spy in the store?

Yes, there is a spy and, as you probably already guessed, the spy is Irene.  (How did Irene get the job?  Didn’t she have to go through a background check?  Do they not do that in Canada?)  Howard eventually figures it all out but he feels a little better when Irene tells him that, even though she was a spy, she truly did fall for him.  They share a passionate kiss and the audience applauds.  Then Irene leaves and Howard calls Edna to ask her to come back home.  “Awwwww!” the audience says.

Uhmmm …. yeah.  Thanks for the mixed signals, studio audience.  Howard basically cheated on Edna while she was gone but apparently that’s okay because, afterwards, Howard asked her to come back home.  Is Howard ever going to tell Edna about Irene?  She’s going to find out as soon as she asks either Marlene or Jennifer about what happened at the store while she was gone.  Unless Edna was hooking up with a 21 year-old life guard in Florida, Howard’s screwed either way.

This episode just felt off.  Howard can be a jerk but he’s always been loyal to Edna, even when they’ve fought in the past.  The “Store Wars” storyline had potential but it was pretty much overshadowed by Howard trying to be Springsteen.  This episode just didn’t work.

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Check It Out! 1.17 “Banzai”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing the Canadian sitcom, Check it Out, which ran in syndication from 1985 to 1988.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, I finally get a chance to review the episode that I should have reviewed last week.  Nature is healing.

Episode 1.17 “Banzai”

(Dir by John Bell, originally aired on February 8th, 1986)

Mrs. Cobb (Barbara Hamilton) has decided that it would be a good idea to send someone over to Japan to study how the Japanese have become such efficient employers and employees.  That is an idea that actually isn’t bad and totally makes sense.  Give some points to the show for having a good idea for once.

However, for some reason, Mrs. Cobb wants to send over not an executive and not a store manager but an assistant store manager.  That makes no sense.  If you want to make changes, why wouldn’t you send someone over who has the authority to do so?  As usual, Mrs. Cobb wants it to be someone from Howard’s store.  The show has always implied that Mrs. Cobb is the richest woman in Canada and that she actually owns several businesses across the North American continent.  It’s odd that the only one she ever seems to care about is Howard’s store.

Assistant Store Manager Jack Christian is on vacation in Fiji so Howard has to pick a temporary replacement who can go to Japan.  Mrs. Cobb tells him to pick a woman and since Marlene has a criminal record and Jennifer is not in this episode, the job falls to Edna.

Edna goes to Japan and then returns with a lot of ideas for how to make Cobb’s better.  Cue Howard’s comic exasperation as Edna demands informality in the workplace, a lack of walls, and a mandatory exercise period.  Also cue the two Japanese workers that Edna brought back with her, who proceed to tear down the walls of Howard’s office.

Watching all of this, I had to wonder just how long Christian’s Fiji vacation lasted.  This episode seemed to take place over the course of a month, maybe even longer.  It lasted long enough for the staff to rebel against Edna and for Mrs. Cobb to change her mind about using Japanese methods in her business.  And it lasted long enough for Edna to decide that she would rather go back to being Howard’s administrative assistant.  Jack Christian did return by the end of the episode, which is good since Jeff Pustil (who played Christian) and Kathleen Laskey (who played Marlene) were the show’s two most consistent comedic performers.  (Interestingly enough, they’re married in real life.)

This was actually not a bad episode.  I always cringe a bit whenever I see any 80s or 90s sitcom attempting to deal with cultural differences, especially when the other culture is Japanese.  Just judging from a lot of the shows that I’ve seen, it would appear that many Americans (and I guess Canadians) in the 80s felt like the only way to deal with Japan’s competitive economy was to make often juvenile jokes about Japanese tourists with cameras and the poor dubbing that most Japanese films suffered on their way to American screens.  This episode of Check It Out! is actually respectful of Japanese business culture, even if the show’s message seems to be that it ultimately isn’t right for the more laid back culture of Canada.

As for what happens in next week’s episode — who knows?  We’ll find out.

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Check it Out 1.16 “Dog Day After Dark”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing the Canadian sitcom, Check it Out, which ran in syndication from 1985 to 1988.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

I’ve had a busy day and I’m running behind because I’ve been doing totally responsible stuff and not because I’ve been watching trashy talk shows.  Definitely not!  Anyway, this review is a little late.  That said, when you’re reviewing an obscure Canadian sitcom from the 80s, you can probably be as late as you want.

Episode 1.16 “Dog Day After Dark”

(Dir by John Bell, originally aired on February 1st, 1986)

Howard is super excited because not only is his birthday coming up but he’s also got a side hustle.  He’s appearing in commercials for Cobb’s, dressed in a giant cheeseball costume and encourage everyone to buy the store brand cheese.  When a group of protestors shows up at the store to protest just how unhealthy the Cobb’s cheeseballs are, Howard orders them kicked out.  Their leader, wealthy hamburger restaurant heiress Sonja (Sheila McCarthy), vows to return and to make sure that all of Canada knows how unhealthy their diet truly is.

(Violent and wealthy vegans who want to control everyone’s lives?  Check It Out! may be a silly sitcom but it still managed to predict our silly sitcom future.)

Meanwhile, Edna is busy trying to put together an after-hours surprise party for Howard in the breakroom.  (Check It Out! has never been that consistent when it comes to portraying the staff’s feelings towards Howard.  There are some episodes where Howard is a jerk and everyone dislikes him.  However, in this episode, they all love him and can’t wait to celebrate with him.)  Edna tells security guard Alf to distract Howard while she gets things set up.  Unfortunately, Alf is so busy telling Howard about his cat that he’s not at his post when Sonja and her followers show up and take everyone hostage.

In some scenarios, this could lead to a Die Hard situation, with Howard taking on the role for John McClane.  And, indeed, that would be kind of fun.  But this is Check It Out!, one of the most Canadian sitcoms of all time.  So, everyone decides to celebrate Howard’s birthday even though they’re being held hostage, the terrorists are more goofy than dangerous, and, as the police and media rush into the store, Howard ends up eating one of the cheeseballs and getting sick on Canadian television.

(Despite being a very Canadian show, Check It Out! usually tried to obscure what country the show was actually set in so that it would have a better chance of finding an audience in the U.S.A.  That said, it’s hard not to notice that all of the vegan terrorists have French names.)

This was a pretty silly episode bit it was hard not to appreciate the goofiness of it all.  It was dumb but it was also light-hearted and good-natured, as the better episodes of this show tend to be.

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Check It Out! 1.15 “Otherwise Engaged”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing the Canadian sitcom, Check it Out, which ran in syndication from 1985 to 1988.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, Edna’s mother visits!

Episode 1.15 “Otherwise Engaged”

(Dir by John Bell, originally aired on January 22nd, 1986)

This week’s episode is way too dependent on the idiot plot.

The idiot plot is one of those stories where every complication is the result of everyone acting like an idiot and then reacting even more like an idiot.  Plots like this drive me crazy and, to be honest, it’s difficult for me to watch them.  The solutions are always so simple that it’s hard not to get frustrated with everyone’s refusal not to be stupid.  Idiot plots are probably closer to reality than most people might wan to admit.  There’s a lot of idiots out there.

As for this episode, it opens with everyone admiring Marlene’s diamond engagement ring.  Marlene has a new boyfriend, a guy who she met at night and become engaged to in the morning.  Marlene isn’t sure what the guy’s name is but she does appreciate his taste in jewelry.  This part of the show was funny, largely because Kathleen Laskey played Marlene as being an unapologetic force of chaos.  She’s the Kyrsten Sinema of Canada.

But then Marlene allows Edna (who has been dating Howard for years without a proposal) to wear the ring and — surprise! — Edna can’t get it off.  And then Edna’s overbearing mother (Nancy Kerr) shows up and thinks that Edna and Howard are engaged.  And, instead of telling her the truth, Edna and Howard allow her to believe it.  Even when Edna’s mother starts planning the wedding, Edna and Howard do not tell her the truth.  Seriously, Howard …. Edna …. JUST TELL HER!  Or don’t tell her and then get married because, seriously, why not?  If nothing else, it would take care of all the ethical issues that are currently raised by Howard dating one of his employees.

Now, there are some funny moments in this episode.  Edna’s mother wears perfume that is so strong that the store’s customers start to pass out.  One woman is splashed with a bucket of water and ends up changing her clothes in Howard’s office.  Edna isn’t happy about that but then Christian explains to her what was going on.  See?  Misunderstandings are easily resolved when you EXPLAIN things.  It’s not that difficult.

In the end, it turns out that Marlene’s boyfriend is a jewel thief.  (Marlene doesn’t care because Marlene is all about breaking the rules.)  Edna’s mother learns the truth and decides to move to the city so she can be closer to Edna and Howard.  Edna is happy.  Howard less so.

Anyway, this episode made me chuckle a few times but, ultimately, it was just too dependent on everyone acting like an idiot.  Edna just needs to accept that she’s never going to get married.

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Check It Out! 1.14 “Supermarket Superbowlers”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing the Canadian sitcom, Check it Out, which ran in syndication from 1985 to 1988.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week is all about bowling!  Wasn’t CHiPs also all about bowling this week?

Episode 1.14 “Supermarket Superbowlers”

(Dir by John Bell, originally aired on January 15th, 1986)

Cobb’s has got a bowling team!

They’ve managed to get into the league finals and, according to Howard, all of the credit goes to their stockboy, Murray.  Murray may not be good at bagging groceries but he is apparently a great bowler.  He’s such a good bowler that it doesn’t even matter that Edna is a terrible bowler.  In fact, Edna is so bad that she doesn’t even get to bowl.  The only reason she is on the team is so she can step in if someone gets injured.

Someone does get injured!  Murray breaks his arm and right before the big game too.  However, Mrs. Cobb (Barbara Hamilton) has told Howard that she wants the store to win that championship trophy and she’ll give everyone on the team a $500 bonus if they win.  But if Edna plays, they don’t have a chance.  In order to keep Edna on the sidelines, Jack Christian tracks down a former pro bowler and hires him to be the temporary stock boy.  “Big Ed” Politowski (J. Winston Carroll) is a total slob who doesn’t appear to have taken a shower in months but apparently, he’s really good with a bowling ball.

Seeing how disappointed Edna is, Howard decides to fake a foot injury so that he’ll have to withdraw from the team and Edna will be able to play in his place.  But, no sooner has he faked one injury than Christian drops a bowling ball on Howard’s other foot.  (Why was Christian walking around the store with a bowling ball?  I’m not sure.)  Big Ed picks up Howard to take him to the hospital, which leads to an unseen but definitely heard crash in the parking lot.

The end result is that Howard ends up on crutches, the store does not win the trophy, and no one gets five hundred dollars.  But everyone is really impressed by the fact that Howard faked an injury just so Edna could play.  Of course, if Howard hadn’t faked an injury, they might have won the tournament and they would all be five hundred dollars richer.  Apparently, Cobb’s only hires those who have a very, very generous spirit.

This was a fairly forgettable episode, one in which there really weren’t any stakes other than a trophy and a little extra money.  Considering the big deal that Mrs. Cobb made about wanting to win that trophy, no one seemed to be particularly worried about any bad consequences from losing the game.  Considering that Murray broke his arm at work, no one seemed to be worried about whether or not he would recover or perhaps sue the store.  There were no consequences to anything that happened in this story and that’s fine.  Not everything has to be a matter of life and death.

Probably the most interesting thing about this episode is that neither Alf the Security Guard nor Jennifer the Cashier appeared.  In-universe, I going to assume the episode took place on their off-days but you do have to wonder if either one of them could bowl.

 

 

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Check It Out! 1.13 “Love Is A Many Splendored Alf”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing the Canadian sitcom, Check it Out, which ran in syndication from 1985 to 1988.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, my favorite character returns!

Episode 1.13 “Love Is A Many Splendored Alf”

(Dir by John Bell, originally aired on January 8th, 1986)

Viker’s back!

Played by Gordon Clapp, Viker is the store’s electrician.  He’s only appeared in a handful of episodes this season, though Wikipedia says that he’ll become a regular during season 2.  Viker is one of the best characters on the show.  Technically, he’s the goofy dumb guy but what makes Viker special is that, while he’s definitely goofy, he’s not really that dumb.  Viker can put his thoughts together, it’s just that he put them together differently than everyone around him.  Viker lives in a world of his own, one that has its own peculiar set of rules.  Alone amongst all the characters on the show, Viker is always honest and tries to directly answer every question that he’s asked.  For instance, when Howard asks him if he has an idea as to what is making the store’s light flicker on and off, Viker replies, “Yes,” and leaves it at that.  Howard, after all, didn’t ask him what the idea is.

Viker is at the store because Cobb’s is having electrical problems.  The lights are flickering on and off.  (It takes Viker a few minutes to notice because, as he explains, his blinking his synchronized with the flickering.)  The cash registers are humming.  The refrigerator in the break room has broken down.  The store’s freezer also breaks down, leading 800 pounds of melted ice cream and a bunch of TV dinner rotting in an alley.  Can Viker figure out what the problem is?

No, of course, he can’t.  Fortunately, Alf the Security Guard can.  When Alf gives the broken refrigerator a good slap, the refrigerator comes back to life and the lights stop flickering.  So, I guess it was all the refrigerator’s fault!  To be honest, I don’t know much about how things are wired in most stores but …. well, let’s just go with it.

Alf …. poor Alf!  Alf has a tough week in this episode.  Edna sets Alf up on a date with her friend Helen (Nonnie Griffith).  Helen likes that Alf is a plain-spoken, blue collar guy.  Helen is less impressed when Alf gets drunk on their date and tries to crack open his escargot.  She is especially not happy when he pours a pitcher of water on the flambé.  After the disastrous date, Alf is convinced that he’ll never see Helen again.  Fortunately, for Alf, Helen just happens to be in the store when he gets the refrigerator working and basically saves everyone’s job.  Helen is impressed enough to give Alf a second chance.  Awwwww!

(In other words, it’s a good thing Viker couldn’t figure out what the problem was!)

As far as this episode goes, I never really believed that Helen would have been attracted to Alf in the first place so that story kind of fell flat.  And seriously, if you’re dating a guy because you like how direct and blue collar he is, what are you thinking serving him escargot and flambé?  But I was happy to see Viker again and I appreciated that this was an episode where everyone in the store acted as eccentrically as possible.  Check It Out! works best when it leans into absurdism.

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Check It Out! 1.12 “Skip to the Loo”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing the Canadian sitcom, Check it Out, which ran in syndication from 1985 to 1988.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

We’ve got a weird one tonight!

Episode 1.12 “Skip to the Loo”

(Dir by Alan Erlich, originally aired on December 18th, 1985)

This episode opens with Howard feeling a bit concerned.  As he explains to Edna, an old army buddy visited him the previous night.  Mad Mike Mulroney climbed through Howard’s window with three dead Dobermans around his neck.  Having just escaped from prison, Mad Mike asked Howard to do him a favor and give his son, Brandon, a job.  Howard felt that he had to agree because Mad Mike saved Howard’s life while they were serving in Korea.  Why, Howard cries, why did I let him do that!?

Brandon (Jeremy Ratchford) shows up and turns out to be as fearsome as his father.  Howard suggests that Brandon fill in for bagboy Murray, who is on vacation.  Brandon replies that he was hoping he could be a bouncer.  Brandon then proceeds to literally toss a lot of people out of the store.  Realizing that Brandon should not be on the sales floor, Howard suggests that Brandon spend the day in the meat locker where he can beat up the meat, Rocky Balboa-style.

Meanwhile, nerdy Herman Fastback (Howard Busgang) is trying to set the world record for skipping rope in the store.  Unfortunately, the world record is 12 hours and Herman keeps getting distracted and having to start over.  As well, Brandon keeps coming out the meat locker and taunting him.

When it’s time for the store to close, Christian agrees to spend the night in the store so that Herman can continue to set his record.  The next morning, Christian wakes up in a shopping cart and discovers that all of the cash registers have been emptied and the employee locker room has been ransacked.  Herman has disappeared and Brandon is dead in the meat locker!  When Howard and Alf come to work, they surmise that Herman robbed the store and then killed Brandon.

No one is that upset about Brandon being dead.  In fact, Howard doesn’t call the police and just leaves the body in the meat locker.  But then Mad Dog (George Buza) shows up in full military gear and announces that he is just a few hours from heading to South America, where he plans to overthrow another country’s government.  He tells Howard that he’s a mercenary and “I kill people for a living.”  Mad Dog asks how Brandon is doing.  It takes a while but eventually, Howard admits that Brandon is dead.

Mad Dog is not extremely upset about his son dying but he does request that Howard give him a funeral in the store.  Realizing that Mad Dog will probably kill him otherwise, Howard agrees.  He closes down the store and then Brandon’s frozen body is wheeled into the break room.  Howard conducts a respectful funeral.  Mad Dog is touched.

This episode was so strange that it was only during the end credits that I realized that Herman apparently got away with not only robbing the place but also killing Brandon.  In fact, I don’t think Howard or anyone else at the store bothered to call the police about any of this.  Instead, they just left Brandon in the meat locker.  I’ve never worked in a grocery store so I have to admit that I’m not the expert on these things but I think leaving a corpse inside a storage area would have to be a health code violation of some sort.

It’s difficult to dislike anything that’s this cheerfully weird.  This episode full embraced its own absurdity and, for that reason, it worked quite well.  We’re about halfway through the first season of Check It Out! and the best episodes are definitely the weird ones.

Next week …. well, I don’t know what’s happening next week.  Hopefully, they will have gotten Brandon’s body out of the store.

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Check It Out 1.11 “Love on Sale”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing the Canadian sitcom, Check it Out, which ran in syndication from 1985 to 1988.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

Attention shoppers, tonight’s episode is weird.

Episode 1.11 “Love on Sale”

(Dir by Alan Erlich, originally aired on December 11th, 1985)

Weird episode.

Mrs. Cobb (Barbara Hamilton) wants to open up a store in Saudi Arabia so she assigns Howard to give a speech to a group of “Arab investors,” while she spends the night seducing a sheik.  Howard agrees and is told that, if everything works out, he could end up as the President of Cobb’s International.  Going from being the manager of grocery store to an international business tycoon would be quite an accomplishment.  Of course, Mrs. Cobb also expects Howard to dress up like Peter O’Toole in Lawrence of Arabia.  This leads to both Edna and Murray punching him out because they initially don’t recognize him in his costume.

Meanwhile, Murray is trying to raise $150 so that he can buy Howard’s old car, which is apparently sitting on a bunch of milk crates somewhere.  Murray is a teenager who doesn’t even know how to drive but he really wants that car.  How can Murray earn $150?

(Just consider that apparently, Murray doesn’t even make $150 a week from his job at Cobb’s.)

After a customer gives Murray a five dollar tip after Murray introduces him to a female shopper, Murray decides that he’ll start hooking up the single shoppers in return for a ten dollar payment.  Howard thinks that this is a fine idea, as long as Murray doesn’t try to hook up anyone who is married.  (Personally, I can’t think of anything that would make grocery shopping more awkward than having a 15 year-old bagboy trying to convince me to date someone while I’m looking over the produce but whatever.)  Soon, Murray is making all sorts of money but then a Vice detective shows up and arrests Howard for running an escort service.

While dressed like Lawrence of Arabia, Howard is thrown in jail.  In his cell, there are two burly men who continually threaten to beat him up, a skinny guy who talks about how he ate someone’s face, and a male lawyer who is wearing hot pink high heels.  Murray, Christian, and Alf show up at the station and explain that they were all involved in getting people dates at Cobbs and, as a result, they’re all tossed in the cell as well.

Somehow, Howard and his employees do get released because, the next day, Howard comes to work and discovers that every swinger in the city is eager to shop at his store and Mrs. Cobb is not upset about Howard missing the meeting with the investors because Mrs. Cobb was able to seduce the sheik.  Howard says that he can’t wait to be in charge of Cobb’s International because then he’ll be able to get a harem, which leads to Edna punching him.

Weird, weird episode.  It’s hard to even review this episode because it really does take place in its own rather surreal reality.  That said, I kind of appreciated the episode’s nonstop jokiness.  There wasn’t a serious moment to be found here and, while some of the jokes fell flat, some of them worked surprisingly well.  It’s an extremely silly episode that doesn’t add up to much but it’s just weird enough to be entertaining.

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Check It Out 1.10 “Car Pool”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing the Canadian sitcom, Check it Out, which ran in syndication from 1985 to 1988.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, everybody wants something they’ll never give up.

Episode 1.10 “Car Pool”

(Dir by John Bell, originally aired on December 4th, 1985)

One rainy morning, Howard comes to work, just to discover that his assistant manager, Jack Christian, has parked his new BMW in Howard’s space.  As Jack explains it, there wasn’t any other place to park in the small lot.  The other employees all mention that all of their parking space were also taken by customers.  Howard tells his employees that he’s going to call Mrs. Cobb and tell her that they need a bigger parking lot.

That conversation does not go well.  As Howard explains afterwards, negotiations with Mrs. Cobb always involve “give and take.”  In this case, Mrs. Cobb gave Howard his job back after initially firing him and she even agreed to let him keep his parking space.  And then Mrs. Cobb took away everyone else’s parking space.

Needless to say, no one is happy about this.  (Considering that we already had a whole episode about Marlene organizing a union at the store, it’s a little surprising they don’t all stage a walk out in protest.)  However, Christian has a solution.  He organizes a car pool.  He agrees to pick everyone up in his van and drive them to work.  He’ll only charge each of them $5 for the trip to the store and then $8 for the trip home.  (“The drive home is mostly uphill,” Christian explains.)  After everyone agrees, Christian then swindles Howard out of an additional $40 to cover expenses.

Unfortunately, the van has faulty brakes and Christian ends up slamming into the back of someone else’s car while driving everyone to work.  As a result, everyone ends up in the hospital and Christian ends up getting sued by the woman who was driving the car that he hit.  He agrees to settle for $15,000, which he raises by selling his BMW to Howard.

However, no sooner has new luxury car owner Howard started wearing aviator shades and a scarf then a cop (played by Don Lake) shows up and inform Christian that the old woman he hit was actually a con artist and has been arrested.  The cop hands Christian back his money and Howard gives Christian back his BMW.  Then the cop mentions that the old woman tried to flee from police and crashed into a BMW, which causes Christian to faint.  The cop, however, is more concerned with talking to his bookie on the phone than with checking to see if Christian is still alive.

I haven’t even mentioned the scene where Edna explains that she doesn’t care about employee parking because she just parks illegally in the street.  When Howard asks her about the parking tickets that she gets, Edna says that she just tears them in half and tosses them in a nearby garbage can.  Way to go, Edna!  Of course, when the cop first shows up, there’s an extended sequence of Howard claiming that Edna is actually named Doris and that the Edna that the cop is looking for has gone on vacation to Cuba.

There was a lot going on in this weird but funny episode.  In this episode, the show acknowledges that, while dumb people can be funny, dumb people who think they’re smart are even funnier.  Everyone in this episode thought they were more clever than they actually were.  Howard thought he could talk Mrs. Cobb into expanding the parking lot.  Christian thought he could swindle the other employees (and it turned out that actually he could, even if his own natural bad luck ultimately thwarted him).  Con artist Ruby Wexler thought she could swindle Christian (and she nearly succeeded).  In the end, only Edna actually got away with anything, with the cop explaining that Edna had accidentally been issued diplomatic plates and was therefore not subject to traffic laws.  This episode definitely made me laugh more than any other episode of this show that I’ve watched so far.  Check that out.

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Check It Out! 1.9 “Phantom of the Market”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing the Canadian sitcom, Check it Out, which ran in syndication from 1985 to 1988.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, someone is stealing disgusting gourmet food!

Episode 1.9 “Phantom of the Market”

(Dir by Stan Harris, originally aired on November 27th, 1985)

Howard is super-excited because he has been named Cobb’s Manager of the Year!  The manager of the year wins a Hawaiian vacation for two because, apparently, there’s not a single Cobb’s manager who has a large family.  I get the feeling that the whole manager of the year thing is a scam to give the the company’s managers an excuse to go to Hawaii with their secretaries.  That’s certainly what Howard is planning to do, though at least he’s actually unmarried and dating Edna.

(Being a Canadian company, I would think Cobb’s would reward its employees with a Discovery Islands vacation but no, Cobb’s would rather send its employees to the USA.)

Howard’s employees even go through the trouble of making and hanging a big banner congratulating Howard.  Of course, they hang it upside down but Howard is in such a good mood that he doesn’t even yell about it.  Unfortunately, Howard’s mood is soon ruined when a corporate stooge (played by Grant Cowan) shows up and tells Howard that his store is missing $400 worth of gourmet meat and that Howard is going to lose his job if he can’t figure out what has happened to the missing inventory.

Feeling that it might be an inside job, Howard and Alf spend two nights at the store in hopes of catching whoever it is.  The first night, Howard falls asleep and wakes up in his underwear.  Somehow, the thief took all of his clothes without waking up Howard.  Howard wraps himself in the banner, which I would think would make him look even more undressed than when he was just wearing shoes, boxers, and his undershirt.  (How did the thief undress Howard without taking his shoes off?  Again, how did Howard sleep through that?)  The second night, Howard discovers that Cobb’s actually has a basement and that basement is occupied by Henry Weinberg (Antony Parr).

The well-dressed and well-fed Henry explains that his family used to own the land on which the store was built.  Henry has been living in the basement of various Cobb’s stores for several years and he’s been stealing their food.  He gives Howard a box that he says contains the ashes of his grandfather.  Howard is surprisingly accepting of all this.

The next day — yay!  All of the missing inventory is back.  Howard gets to keep his job and go to Hawaii.  Henry shows up in the story and tells Howard that he stole replacement food from all the other grocery stores in the area.  After Henry leaves, Alf informs Howard that Henry is actually a comedian who used to do a bit about putting his grandfather’s ashes in a box.  As Henry speaks, Howard discreetly spills the ashes onto the flood and kicks them underneath a shelf.  Yikes!

This was kind of a strange episode but, in this case, the weirdness worked to the show’s advantage.  In previous episodes, Don Adams sometimes seemed to be overacting.  In this episode, everyone was acting bizarrely and, as such, Adams’s exaggerated reactions actually fit well with the situation.  Add to that, this episode featured the return of Viker, the dumb but very confident electrician played by Gordon Clapp.  As played by Clapp, Viker’s earnest stupidity was definitely the high point of the episode.

Next week, everyone car pools to work!  I really can’t imagine that going well but we’ll find out what happens soon!