Pressure Point (1997, directed by David Giancola)


Sebastian “Della” Dellacourt (Don Mogavero) is a balding, mild-mannered, and middle-aged businessman who has all the screen presence of a halibut.  That is just his cover because, in reality, Della is the CIA’s best assassin.  When his handler (played by Larry Linville of M*A*S*H fame) promises him that he only has to do “one last” job, Della is relieved.  But when he discovers that the job involves killing not only an ambassador but also the ambassador’s children, he intentionally botches it.  Della is arrested and his secret life is exposed.  His wife leaves him.  Convicted of murder, Della is sent to prison but he won’t be there for long.  His handlers have one last “one last” job for him.

After they arrange for him to escape from prison, Della makes his way to Vermont where he is assigned to infiltrate a militia movement led by local businessman, Arno Taylor (Steve Railsback).  Arno hates the government and he loves apples and he wants to blow up the U.S. Congress.  It turns out that Arno has some powerful friends backing him up and Della is meant to be a patsy.  Can Della and his new cop girlfriend (Linda Ljoka) stop Arno or will Della be set up to take the fall for the worst act of terrorism in American history?

Before talking about the movie, let’s spare a thought for Larry Linville.  Larry Linville was not a bad actor but he never recovered from playing Frank Burns on M*A*S*H.  It didn’t have to be that way.  During the first season of M*A*S*H, Frank was self-righteous, annoying, and not a great surgeon but he was still recognizably human and Linville played him as just being insecure and not as quick-witted as the other surgeons.  But as the series went on, Frank was written to be more and more cartoonish and soon he became downright evil.  While every other character got to grow and develop, Frank regressed until eventually there wasn’t any room left for him on the show.  Realizing that Frank would never be allowed to become a fully-rounded character, Linville left the show after the fifth season.  The show went on for 6 more seasons without him but Linville never escaped the shadow of Frank Burns and his post-M*A*S*H movie career was spent playing villains in low-budget films like this one.

As for Pressure Point, it comes from the same people who did Icebreaker and Time Chasers so you know what you’re getting into when you start watching it.  Moments of mild action are mixed in with scenes that only exist to pad out the running time.  Even though I like the idea of action movies that star people who like actual everyday people, Don Magovero is still the least convincing action star that I’ve ever seen.  Whenever he has to run or jump or do anything requiring any sort of physical exertion, he looks like he is about to faint.  Having him go up against Steve Railsback, who actually is a good actor and who is convincing as someone who could organize and lead a militia group, just seems unfair.

Icebreaker (2000, directed by David Giancola)


Carl Grieg (Bruce Campbell) is a terminally ill terrorist who takes over a Vermont ski resort while his henchpeople search the nearby mountains for a lost shipment on plutonium.  The only man who can stop Carl is a wiseass but determined ski patroller, Matt Foster (Sean Astin).  Not only does Matt have to stop Carl from getting his hands on the plutonium but he also has to save his fiancée (Suzanne Turner) and her father (Stacy Keach), both of whom are being held hostage by Carl.  Since his future father-in-law thinks that he’s nothing more than good for nothing ski bum, this is Matt’s chance to prove himself worthy of joining the family.

Icebreaker tries to be Die Hard in a Ski Lodge but it fails because Sean Astin is no one’s idea of an action star.  With his laid back and goofy manner, Astin miscast as someone who can leap from from an exploding ski lift and land in the snow with barely a scratch on him.  This was the last film that Sean Astin made before Peter Jackson offered him the role of Sam in the Lord of the Rings trilogy.  Needless to say, Astin was much better cast in that role than as a knock-off of Bruce Willis.

As for the rest of the cast, Bruce Campbell hams it up as Carl and, while it is always good to see Bruce, he also appears to be having so much fun that it makes him a less than convincing terrorist.  With his shaved head, it’s easy to mistake Bruce for Billy Zane.  Stacy Keach does a good job playing someone who is never not annoyed.  Considering that his daughter wants to marry a ski bum and they’re being held hostage by a villain who wants to make his very own nuclear bomb, can you blame him?

There’s some skiing action but none of it is really memorable.  There is also a scene featuring repeated shots of a counter on a bomb, announcing that Astin only had 30 seconds to do what he needs to do before everything explodes.  I think the timer may have been broken because it took a lot long than 30 seconds for that countdown to reach zero.  If you really want to see Die Hard In A Ski Resort, I suggest sticking with Cliffhanger.  That one not only only has Sylvester Stallone and Michael Rooker cracking jokes but also John Lithgow speaking with a posh accent.

Time Chasers (1994, directed by David Giancola)


People, I know what you’ve heard but Time Chasers is not that bad.

I know that Time Chasers has got a reputation.  It was featured on one of the most brutal (and funniest) episodes of Mystery Science Theater 3000.  That, in fact, is probably how most people know about this film.  (Some members of the MST 3K crew subsequently revisited Time Chasers for Rifftrax.)  It’s true that MST 3K was known for taking apart bad films and it probably hasn’t helped the film’s reputation that it’s been reported that some members of the production were not amused about being mocked by Mike Nelson and the bots.

But that’s all in the past and I think that today, we can finally admit that Time Chasers is not that bad.

It’s certainly one of the few films to suggest that time travel can be achieved by an airplane, five oversized floppy disks, and a Commodore 64.  Nick Miller (Matthew Bruch) is a scientist and amateur airplane pilot who has discovered how to travel through time.  He hopes that we can use time travel so that we can figure out a way to “stop killing ourselves.”  Lisa (Bonnie Pritchard), the local journalist who went to high school with Nick, is impressed, especially when Nick takes her on a trip to the future (which does indeed look much like a mall food court).  Lisa is less impressed when Nick decides to sell the idea to J.K. Robertson (George Woodard).  J.K.’s a rich businessman and that automatically makes him evil.  Lisa understands this.  Nick does not.

J.K. promises that he won’t use time travel to develop weaponry but, when Lisa and Nick take another romantic trip to the future, they discover that the world is in ruins and it no longer looks like a food court.  Instead, people are shooting at each other.  J.K. lied!  Nick and Lisa go back to the present to confront J.K. but J.K.’s not willing to give up time travel that easily.  Soon, as a result of all the time travel, there are multiple Nicks and Lisas and J.K. Robertsons all over the place.  It all ends with a trip back to the American Revolution, where many of the colonists wear wrist watches and modern-style eyeglasses.

It is easy to poke fun at something like Time Chasers but I’m going to defend it.  The plot is actually more ambitious than you would expect from a low-budget sci-fi film and there are some clever touches that indicate that the director actually did give some serious thought to what would happen if you had multiple people jumping from one time to another.  (I like the fact that, when Nick meets his past self, Past Nick can’t understand why Present Nick won’t stop talking about Lisa.)  For all the ribbing that they took on MST 3K, both Matthew Bruch and Bonnie Pritchard are likable as Nick and Lisa.  Bruch may not look like a conventional hero and, in this film, he’s got a mullet that’s goofy as hell but there’s a lot of sincerity to his performance.

I love MST 3K.  When I first saw the Time Chasers episode, I laughed so much that it hurt and it’s still a favorite of mine.  (I cannot see an empty field without saying, “Hey, Children of the Corn.”  Lisa — our Lisa, not the film’s Lisa — is usually kind enough to reply, “Hey,” so my joke isn’t just left hanging in the air.)  But taken on its own, without Mike and the bots riffing on it, Time Chasers is not that bad.  It’s goofy take on time travel and, dammit, I like it.