Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Highway to Heaven, which aired on NBC from 1984 to 1989. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi and several other services!
This week, it’s Halloween!
Episode 4.5 “I Was A Middle-Aged Werewolf”
(Dir by Michael Landon, originally aired on October 28th, 1987)
The Devil (Michael Berryman) makes his second appearance on the show, this time selling Mark a submarine sandwich on Halloween night. Mark eats the sandwich while watching I Was A Teenage Werewolf on television. (“Hey, this guy kind of looks like you!” he tells Jonathan. Michael Landon, of course, starred in I Was A Teenage Werewolf.) Mark is then haunted by nightmares in which Jonathan turns into a werewolf. (And yes, Landon is made up to look like he did in the film.)
Meanwhile, in the waking world, Jonathan helps a lost trick-or-treater go home and he briefly turns into a werewolf so that he can scare the kid’s mean older sister. I’m not really sure what the rules were about angels pulling Halloween pranks but it should be noted that Jonathan is actually a fairly nice werewolf and he allows the kid to be a hero by pretending to be scared of him.
The episode ends with Mark once again yelling in fear as Jonathan turns into a werewolf, just for Michael Landon to look straight at the camera, break character, and say, “Happy Halloween.”
Awwww, what a sweet episode!
After a few weak and heavy-handed episodes, it was nice to see HighwaytoHeaven return to its earnest roots. This was a likable episode, one that showed that Landon was willing to laugh at himself and one that, to me, seemed to indicate a genuine love for the Halloween holidau. This was a fun 60 minutes and watching it has left me even more eager about the approaching horrorthon season.
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Highway to Heaven, which aired on NBC from 1984 to 1989. The entire show is currently streaming on Freevee and several other services!
This week, things get a little bit sad on the highway to Heaven.
Episode 2.19 “Heaven on Earth”
(Dir by Michael Landon, originally aired on February 26th, 1986)
Now, this episode made me cry!
While visiting an amusement park on their day off, Jonathan and Mark come across a lost six year-old girl named Sarah (Morgan Nagler). Jonathan offers to take Sarah to the park’s security office but Sarah says that she’s not allowed to go anywhere with a stranger. After explaining that he’s a former cop and knows how to deal with lost children, Mark asks Sarah for the name of her mother. After learning that Sarah’s mother is named Nancy, Mark goes to the security office and has them page her. Soon, Sarah and Nancy are reunited. Yay!
Later, as they drive through the desert, Mark and Jonathan are nearly run off the road by a drunk driver. A few moments later, they come across an auto accident. The owner of a jeep swerved to avoid the drunk and instead crashed into a station wagon. Jonathan suddenly tells Mark that they should leave but Mark walks up to the overturned car and discovers that it was being driven by Nancy. Nancy survived the accident but Sarah did not.
Broken-hearted, Mark blames himself. He tells Jonathan that, if he hadn’t been so eager to show off, Sarah and Nancy wouldn’t have left the park when they did and they wouldn’t have been in the car accident. Mark pulls the car over to the side of the road and tells Jonathan to get out. Jonathan reluctantly does so and Mark drives off.
Mark drives until the car runs out of a gas on the outskirts of a small town. The proprietor of a local store tells Mark that the town’s pretty much been dead since the new turnpike was built. There are two gas stations but they’re both closed on Wednesday because the owners like to go fishing together. Reluctantly, Mark goes to the local boarding house and asks for a room for the night.
Mark is shown his room by a helpful girl named Wendy (Alyson Croft). Inside his room, Mark spots a picture of Wendy with Sarah and realizes that Jonathan led him to the boarding house. Later, at dinner, Mark meets Wendy’s father, a divinity student named Tom Ward (Michael Anderson, Jr.) When Wendy goes to call her friend Sarah to find out how the amusement park was, Mark can only sit in silence as Wendy tells her father that Sarah’s family wants to speak to him. Without telling Wendy why, Tom says that he has to go to Sarah’s house. He tells Wendy to get to bed early and then he leaves with his wife and their infant son.
Mark goes back to his room. Wendy pops in and to give him a heater because the furnace is broken. Unfortunately, the heater is also broken and makes an annoying clicking sound. Mark angrily kicks it over before going for a walk.
While standing outside of a church, Mark hears the sirens of fire engines. The Ward house is on fire! The firemen manage to get out Wendy’s grandmother but they say there’s no way to rescue anyone else. Mark rushes into the house, determined to save Wendy. And …. he promptly faints.
When he awakens, he’s with Jonathan. Jonathan says that “the boss” has decided to give Mark the chance to play God. Mark says that he wants everything he wishes to be true and that he wants all of his mistakes to be corrected as if they never happened.
As a result, the town is suddenly thriving but the proprietor of the now 24-hour gas station is dead as a result of having worked himself to death. Wendy is alive but, because Mark wished for her to have everything she ever wanted, she’s now a spoiled brat. And Sarah….
When Mark demands to see Sarah, Jonathan takes him to the cemetery and shows him that Sarah is still dead. Jonathan explains that Sarah’s death was not his fault. It was the fault of the drunk driver and there was nothing Mark could have done to save her.
Mark awakens in the burning house. Not only does he manage to save Wendy’s life but, once he’s released from the hospital’s burn unit, he and Jonathan once again hit the highway….
This was a good episode, though I have to say that the Wards were a lot more forgiving about Mark burning down their house than I would have been. This episode worked largely due to Victor French’s heartfelt performance as Mark. Watching him, it was impossible not to feel his pain. In the end, the message was a good one, though I do think it would have been nice to see the drunk driver punished for his actions.
You may remember Jesse Crowder as the super cool and unflappable private detective from Death Journey. Jesse was a Los Angeles cop but now he works independently. There’s literally nothing that Jesse can’t do. Ride a horse? Ride a motorcycle? Slow motion kung fu? Jesse can do it all and he usually do it without bothering to button up his shirt. Jesse is such a badass that he can kill more people in the time it takes for him to light a cigar than most people will kill in their entire lifetime.
The 1976 film No Way Back is the second Jesse Crowder film. Once again, Fred Williamson both directs and stars as Jesse. Williamson is in almost every scene of the film and when he’s not killing bad guys or having sex or just posing with his shirt off, he’s listening to people talk about what a badass he is. In short, No Way Back is a vanity project but it’s a vanity project with a sense of humor. Watching the film, you get the feeling that Williamson knows that No Way Back is kind of silly but, at the same time, he’s having fun and he wants everyone watching to have fun too.
No Way Back‘s plot involves a missing man and a lot of money. Henry Pickens (Charles Woolf) worked at a bank but, one day, he grabbed a briefcase full of money, jumped in a car driven by his girlfriend (Tracy Reed), and disappeared. Everyone was shocked but you know who was really shocked? His wife! Mildred Pickens (Virginia Gregg) and Henry’s brother both want to know to where Henry has vanished. They hire Jesse, perhaps finding solace in his catch phrase: “You pay the bill, I’ll deliver it. Legal, illegal, moral or otherwise.”
Not surprisingly, it doesn’t take long for Jesse to figure out that Perkins is in San Francisco. Jesse lights his cigar and heads for the Bay City. However, Jesse isn’t the only one looking for Henry Pickens. There’s also a gangster named Bernie (Stack Pierce) who is determined to get the money for himself. Much as in Death Journey, it doesn’t matter where Jesse goes or how he gets there. As soon as he arrives, he people are trying to kill him. Unfortunately, for them, no one can kill Jesse Crowder.
It all leads to a savage gun battle in the desert. Fred Williamson jumps up on a horse, unbuttons his shirt, and rides across the screen. People are betrayed. People get shot. Fortunately, no one can touch Jesse Crowder…
Anyway, No Way Back doesn’t really make any sense. If you happen to watch this film (and I saw it on YouTube), just try to keep track of why Henry stole all of that money in the first place. However, the plot isn’t really that important. This film is all about Fred Williamson beating up gangsters and walking around without a shirt on. It’s a dumb action movie but it never pretends to be anything different and the film’s total lack of pretension is enjoyable. That’s always a good thing.
Through the Shattered Lens 