Changing Patterns | Through the Shattered Lens

Abbott Elementary (Wednesday Night, ABC)

I’m now caught up with Abbott Elementary. Season 3 has been a bit rocky for me and, as I watched the latest episode on Thursday morning, I realized that it really did come down to the fact that it seems as if Abbott is running the risk of losing its edge. The celebrity cameos are nice and often funny but they also take the viewers out of the reality of the show. I’m also still not a fan of Janine working for the District. I love teachers but I cannot stand bureaucrats. I also think, after three seasons, it might be time for Gregory to stop looking stunned by everything. It was funny at first but now, it’s just coming across as being a bit lazy.

That said, when this show works, it really does work. Mr. Johnson debating how AI will effect the future of janitoring made me laugh so hard that I had to get a drink of water to stop myself from choking to death.

Blind Date (YouTube)

I watched two episodes on Tuesday afternoon. No one found love.

Chappelle’s Show (Netflix)

On Sunday, I watched an episode in which Wayne Brady took over Dave Chappelle’s Show. Dave later talked about the time Wayne forced him to smoke crystal meth and murdered at least three people. It made me laugh.

Dirty Pair Flash (YouTube)

On Friday, I watched an episode in which the two main characters had to hide out at a private school, one that was haunted by a ghost. I related to Yuri’s enthusiasm.

Dr. Phil (YouTube)

On Tuesday afternoon, I watched an episode in which Phil talked to a white kid from the suburbs who thought he was a gangster. A real-life former gangster was brought on to talk to him about the “realities” of life on the street. I’ve never heard so much psycho-babble in my life.

The N.Y. Friars Club Roast of Chevy Chase (YouTube)

I read about this infamous 2002 Roast on Wednesday so I decided to watch it on Thursday. It’s true that the humor was brutal. I thought the roast of Michael Scott on The Office was brutal but it was nothing compared to what Chevy Chase was put through. It was kind of obvious that everyone involved had been waiting for a chance to let the world know how much they hated Chevy Chase. It was …. awkward. I’m just not a huge fan of the whole roast thing. It just seems mean!

Jenny Jones (YouTube)

On Monday, I watched a 1992 episode of this talk show. Easily flustered host Jenny Jones talked to teenage girls who were dating older boys and basically made things awkward by asking them to tell her and the entire audience about their first time.

The Phil Donahue Show (YouTube)

On Monday, I watched a 1993 episode of this ancient talk show. The pompous host talked to girls who were dating older men. Everyone was amazingly inarticulate.

Quiet On The Set (Max)

A four-part docuseries, Quiet On The Set took a look at the rise (and eventual fall) of Nickelodeon and television producer Dan Schneider. The centerpiece of the series was an episode-long interview with Drake Bell, in which he bravely discussed being sexually abused by Brian Peck, who was one of three Nickelodeon employees to be convicted of child sexual abuse over a short period of time.

While Drake was compelling and the series did a good job of detailing the toxic atmosphere on many of Schneider’s shows, the series also featured a few too many journalists and a few too many interviews with other former child stars who came across like they were mostly annoyed that their careers fizzled out. Dan Schneider comes across as being a terrible boss and a selfish human being but, at the same time, the series started out with an agenda and sometimes, I wondered how much of the narrative was shaped to fit that agenda.

In the end, the main thing I took away from watching this docuseries was the Nickelodeon really was as creepy as I always kind of suspected it of being.

Rollergames (YouTube)

I watched an episode of this old show on Saturday morning. The roller derby was brutal!

Sally Jessy Raphael (YouTube)

On Monday, I watched a two-part episode from 1993. Sally interviewed teen girls who were sexually active and basically spent two hours scolding them, There was also an army of virgins in the audience who would say stuff like, “I am a virgin,” and the audience would go crazy. It all felt very weird and judgmental. For someone who claimed to be a feminist, Sally sure was quick to judge her guests.

Trisha Goddard Show (YouTube)

I watched an episode of this talk show (which I had never heard of before) on Sunday night. Trisha Goddard, who was a kind of annoying British woman, talked to a 68 year-old woman whose deceased son was thought to be the father of two 27 year-old women. For some reason, a psychic was brought out to give her opinion. “I’m sensing the number three,” she said, for reasons that were never explained.

I watched another episode on Wednesday. It featured a man who refused to accept that he was the father of his ex-partner’s baby, even after a DNA test proved that he was. “That test could have been doctored!” he yelled while the audience gasped in shock.

Watched And Reviewed Elsewhere:

Baywatch Nights

Changing Patterns

Check It Out — Review to come shortly (unless I fall asleep)

CHiPs

Fantasy Island

Friday the 13th: The Series

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Changing Patterns, which aired on CBS in 1987. The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

This week, Valerie Perrine and Brenda Vaccaro are changing patterns!

Episode 1.1 “Pilot”

(Dir by Linda Day, originally aired on June 26th, 1987)

Molly (Oscar nominee Valerie Perrine) and Maxine (Oscar nominee Brenda Vacarro) are two housewives who lives in the suburbs. Molly’s husband (Alex Rocco) is an old friend of Maxine’s husband (Robert S. Woods). Maxine’s husband makes smoothies in the blender. Molly’s husband likes to play golf. They made a fortune in the tire business but now, they’re both retired and ready to support Maxine and Molly’s dream. What a wacky group of neighbors.

Molly and Maxine are trying to break into the fashion industry. Since this the 80s, all of their designs feature shoulder pads and none of them look like they would, in any way, flatter the figure of anyone under the age of 57. Despite having never sold a design and presumably having never made any money from their career, Molly and Maxine have a store in the mall and they’re able to employ a professional cutter (Eric Christmas).

When Steve Ballinger (George DelHoyo), a buyer from Sacks, steps into their store, he’s impressed with their work. He wants to buy some of their hideous designs. But — uh oh! — he also mentions that he would like to set Maxine up with a single friend of his. Molly and Maxine assume that Steve is talking about himself and, eager to make a sale, they don’t reveal that Maxine is married.

Molly and Maxine lie to their husbands and then meet Steve for dinner. Steve shows up with his wife! And his single friend, Jim (Hugh Maguire). When Molly and Maxine thought that Steve was interested in Maxine himself, they thought he was being sleazy. But when they discover that Steve just wants to Maxine to hook up with his friend, they think it’s charming. Either way, it doesn’t really seem that professional on Steve’s part. I, honestly, was expecting Steve to be revealed to be a big liar. I mean, do buyers of major stores really walk around the strip mall? Not to mention that none of Molly and Maxine’s designs were actually any good or, in any way, unique. Steve might soon be out of a job.

Anyway, Maxine reveals that she is married and everyone has a good laugh over the misunderstanding. Then Molly and Maxine go home and have a second dinner with their husbands, who are both amazingly forgiving of the whole lying thing. I mean, Alex Rocco was Moe Greene. There’s just something weird about seeing him play such a wimpy character.

You can probably guess that this was the only episode of Changing Patterns. The show had a number of problems, including a laugh track that went off even when nothing funny was happening. The main problem, though, is that Molly and Maxine were pretty much interchangeable. They both had the same personality, the same outlook, the same ambitions, and the same sense of humor. That might work for a friendship but, for a television show, it means that there’s not enough conflict to keep things interesting. For Changing Patterns to succeed, it would have needed to change its own patterns.