Le sigh.

In the future, when I decide to do a HUGE and impractical series of reviews, I’m going to make sure that I only include films that I’ve already seen.  Because, seriously, I added Burnout without knowing much about the film, other than it was a Crown International Film.  Eventually, I hope to be able to say that I’ve reviewed every single film released by Crown International.  I knew that I’d have to watch and review Burnout some time so why not now?

Before adding the film to my list of films to review, I did at least read a synopsis of the film’s plot.  Here’s what it says on the back of Mill Creek’s Savage Cinema box set:

“A trouble teenager, whose sole desire is to become a great drag racer, almost ruins his own dreams when he spurns his dad’s racing advice.  But support from his girlfriend enables him to prove his abilities to the racing world.”

Hey, that sounds really melodramatic, doesn’t it?  (In fact, it sounds kinda like the plot of the film At Any Price…)  That’ll be perfect for a series called Embracing the Melodrama, Part II.  Let’s watch it right now…

Well, don’t bother.  Burnout is basically 75 minutes of stock footage with 15 minutes of bad actors mouthing really bad dialogue.  Whenever we watch the races, we hear an announcer saying stuff like, “This is really exciting!” or “This is his first time to race!” or “OH MY GOD!  THIS IS REALLY FREAKING EXCITING!” (okay, I may have imagined that last one) and you have to be thankful for the announcer because otherwise, you’d never know who actually won anything.  This is one of the worst acted, worst edited, worst directed, worst written films that I’ve ever seen.  And, after countless posts in which I’ve defended their films, I have to announce that this is probably a strong contender for the worst film to ever be released by Crown International.

Bleh!  Enough of this review.  Burnout is 90 minutes of my life that I will never get back.  I refuse to spend any more time thinking about it.