Bryce Durfee | Through the Shattered Lens

Oh Hell yeah!

This past week has been Shark Week on SyFy! On Sunday, SyFy is going to premiere the latest Sharknado movie. As always, in the days before the latest chapter in the Sharknado saga, SyFy has been showing other shark-related films. Of course, my friends and I have been watching and live-tweeting all of these films. What makes the experience especially fun is that, often times, the filmmakers themselves will join in and tweet along with us. It’s a wonderful reminder that watching an original movie on SyFy should always be a community experience.

Take Toxic Shark for instance…

Toxic Shark premiered on Thursday night and I had a blast watching it. Need proof? Check out my tweets. But what made Toxic Shark especially fun was that I was watching it with my friends, a group of movie lovers who call themselves the Snarkalecs. We’ve been watching movies on SyFy since …. well, since forever. I joined them in 2011 but they were watching movies together before I even showed up. Even better, members of the cast and crew, including producer Neil Elman and editor Don Money, joined in the live tweet. Toxic Shark is an audience participation film. This is a movie for people who want to have a good time with their snarkiest and funniest friends. If you’re not talking back to the screen while watching Toxic Shark, you’re doing it wrong.

Toxic Shark is a film that, in many ways, centers around friendship. Two groups of friends are looking forward to relaxing at a singles retreat in Puerto Rico. Unfortunately, things don’t go quite as smoothly as you might hope. For one thing, it turns out that the retreat is being run by Reese (Eric Etebari, giving a hilarious performance), who is one of those people who you dread meeting at the gym. Along with that, local fisherman are disappearing. One of the singles, Ryan (Owen Saxon), worries over whether his shirt is too tight or not tight enough. (That might not sound like a big deal but he was quite concerned about it.) Body parts are washing up on the beach. Eden (Kabby Borders) is shocked to discover that her ex-boyfriend, Sam (Bryce Durfee), just happens to be at the retreat. Something attacks Gabby (Cirstina Jayo) when she goes out into the ocean. A yoga class get eaten. It may not be as bad as Fyre Festival but still…

Oh, wait a minute. I forgot to mention the biggest problem at the retreat. There is this giant shark that keeps jumping out the ocean and eating people. Seriously, that’ll ruin any vacation. But it’s not just that the shark is really big and fast. This shark has also become toxic! It can not only bite you in half but it can spew toxic waste on you as well…

But that’s not all! The bite of this shark also turns its victims into zombies! Yes, you read that correctly. Assuming you don’t accidentally get killed by Reese, there’s always the chance that the shark will eat you. And, if the shark doesn’t get you, the zombies will…

I mean, seriously, how can you not love that? Toxic Shark is a blast of pure chaotic fun, featuring beautiful beach scenery, hot people in swimsuits, and a kickass musical score. Everyone appears to be having a ball, running from sharks and turning into zombies. Kabby Borders and Bryce Durfee make for a likable couple (even when they’re arguing) and the rest of the cast strikes the perfect balance between horror and comedy. I especially liked the performance of Owen Saxon as the somewhat dim but well-meaning Ryan. There was something touching about how concerned he was about whether or not his shirt was too tight.

Toxic Shark was a lot of fun. If you get a chance, be sure to catch it!

Just don’t let the shark catch you…

(Lisa recently discovered that she only has about 8 hours of space left on her DVR! It turns out that she’s been recording movies from July and she just hasn’t gotten around to watching and reviewing them yet. So, once again, Lisa is cleaning out her DVR! She is going to try to watch and review 52 movies by the end of Thursday, December 8th! Will she make it? Keep checking the site to find out!)

10 Year Reunion premiered on the Lifetime Movie Network on October 23rd, 2016.

Recently, I’ve been re-reading some of the comments that have been left underneath some of my Lifetime reviews and it’s become very evident that not everyone seems to understand what makes a good Lifetime movie. So often, I find people complaining that a Lifetime film was “implausible” or “melodramatic.”

Well, to quote my Aunt Kate, who has a way with words, “No shit, Sherlock.”

That’s exactly why people like me — i.e, intelligent, beautiful, happy people — love Lifetime films. Lifetime films are supposed to be melodramatic. They’re supposed to be implausible. They’re supposed to be so frequently over the top that they verge on camp. That’s the entire point! The best Lifetime films are the ones that feature wild plot twists and which don’t always worry about things like logic. Lifetime is all about having fun and that’s what their best films are all about.

Here’s what you need to ask yourself while watching a Lifetime film — am I having fun? If you’re having fun, then it’s a good movie. It’s not that complicated.

For instance, let’s consider 10 Year Reunion. I fucking loved 10 Year Reunion! Of all the pseudo-horror films that Lifetime showed in October, 10 Year Reunion was the best.

Does the film always make sense?

No, not really.

Does the film feature a lot of melodrama?

Hell yeah!

Does the film go totally over the top during the last 14 minutes?

You better believe it!

It’s great!

10 Year Reunion tells the story of five friends who, during their senior year of high school, wrote down all of their deepest and darkest secrets and put them in a box. One girl wrote about sleeping with her friend’s boyfriend. Another girl wrote about purposefully scoring badly on a test so that another girl could be the valedictorian and get a scholarship to college. They entrusted the box to Abby and Abby buried it somewhere.

And then Abby died. She was at a party and she apparently drank too much and died of alcohol poisoning. Of course, since this is a Lifetime film, we know that there’s more to it than that. One of the still-living girls poisoned Abby!

But who?

Ten years pass and everyone returns for their high school reunion. Despite their best efforts to leave the past behind, everyone is still haunted by the death of Abby. That’s especially true of Carly (Kacey Clarke). It turns out that, before she died, Abby left clues that would lead her friends to the hiding place of the box. Now, ten years later, Carly is determined to track down those clues, dig up the box, and learn those secrets! Her friends tell her not to bring up the ghosts of the past. A hooded figure keeps popping up and trying to kill Carly. And, of course, Carly starts to fall for her old high school crush but he might have secrets of his own!

Or he might not. He might be a red herring.

You’ll have to watch the movie to find out!

And I think you should watch the movie. 10 Year Reunion is an unbelievably fun and well-put together Lifetime film. Yes, it’s totally melodramatic and often implausible and over the top. Yes, it is the type of film where the passive-aggressive behavior starts with catty comments and then quickly escalates to a car blowing up. And yes, this is the type of film that ends with two people dueling with a shovel and hedge clippers.

But, oh my God, it is so much fun!

Here’s the important thing: it’ll keep you guessing, it’ll make you roll your eyes in a good way, it’ll inspire you to shout at the screen, and it all takes place in a really nice house. And, for the most part, the clothes are to die for.

What more could you ask for from a Lifetime film!?

10 Year Reunion is a freaking masterpiece. Anyone who doesn’t get it is taking life too seriously.