SyFy Film Review: Zombie Tidal Wave (dir by Anthony C. Ferrante)


“Fire up the wood chipper!  It’s feeding time!”

So announces Hunter Shaw (Ian Ziering) towards the end of Zombie Tidal Wave, proving once again that any film, regardless of genre or tone, is automatically made a hundred times better by stuffing someone in a wood chipper.  Or, in this case, several zombies.  Needless to say, there’s soon blood and chunks of blue skin flying everywhere.  It’s messy but, when you’re being attacked by zombies, you do what you have to do.

SyFy advertised Zombie Tidal Wave as being from “some of the people behind Sharknado” and this film definitely shares the same sensibility as the first Sharknado film.  What’s often forgotten is that the first Sharknado film was not quite the all-out parody that the later films in the series eventually became.  It was definitely a comedy but, at the same time, there weren’t any celebrity cameos and David Hasselhoff didn’t end up in space.  Instead, it took a ludicrous idea — sharks in a tornado — and then presented it with just a hint of self-awareness.

Zombie Tidal Wave does the same thing.  As a result, you do get Ian Ziering delivering one-liners, like the one at the start of this review.  And the entire film is full of references to other zombie films.  For instance, there’s a band called The Fulcis and the first zombie to appears bears a distinct resemblance to the boat zombie from Zombi 2.  The many scenes of zombies rising from the ocean will remind veteran zombie fans of Shock Waves.  When the zombies invade a hospital, I was reminded of the infamous Hell of the Living Dead.  But, at the same time, Zombie Tidal Wave plays things relatively straight.  Zombies invade.  People get bitten.  Some people sacrifice themselves for the good of the other survivors.  Zombie Tidal Wave has its moments of humor but it never becomes an out-and-out parody.

Why are zombies washing up on the shores of an island community?  Well, it’s because of an earthquake, one that’s unleashed a horde of the undead.  Hunter Shaw is a fisherman and perhaps the most respected citizen of the besieged community.  Naturally, it falls upon him to not only bring everyone together but also to figure out how to defeat the zombies.  To be honest, it really is a typical SyFy movie, which a handful of characters spending most of the film looking for each other while trying to stay alive and then eventually banding together to battle the threat.  Some people, like Hunter and his wife (Cheree Cassidy) rise to the challenge.  Others, like the rich white guy in the pink shirt, don’t.  Personally, my favorite character was Taani (Angie Teodora Dick) because she grabbed a pointed stick as soon as the invasion began and spent the entire movie kicking zombie ass.  GO TAANI!

Anyway, as a lifelong fan of zombie movies, I enjoyed Zombie Tidal Wave.  It didn’t waste any time getting to the zombie action and really, that’s the important thing isn’t it?  The pace was quick and, as he did in Sharknado, Ian Ziering played the grim hero with the right mix of sincerity and horror.  I don’t know if Zombie Tidal Wave is going to launch a Sharknado-style franchise or not but it was still an entertaining SyFy film.

Lisa Cleans Out Her DVR: Forgotten Evil (dir by Anthony C. Ferrante)


Earlier tonight, as part of my continuing effort to clean out my DVR, I watched Forgotten Evil!  I recorded Forgotten Evil off of the Lifetime Movie Network on March 12th.

As soon as the words, “The Asylum Presents” appeared on the screen, I knew that I was going to love Forgotten Evil.  Though the Asylum may be best known for the Sharknado franchise and several subversively entertaining mockbusters, they’ve also produced several films for Lifetime.  An Asylum Lifetime film is always delightfully melodramatic and a lot of fun.  My optimism only increased when I discovered that Forgotten Evil was directed and written by the man behind Sharknado, Anthony C. Ferrante.

“This is going to be fun!” I thought and it turns out that I was right.

Forgotten Evil opens with a woman in a bag being dumped over the side of a boat.  The opening scenes have a surreal, almost dream-like feel to them.  Ferrante does a good job of creating a properly ominous atmosphere.  As I watched that bag crash into the water, I was reminded of my own rather morbid fear of drowning.  Fortunately, the woman in the bag survives.  Unfortunately, when she’s found floating by the shore, she has absolutely no idea who she is.

That’s right!  Jane Doe (played by Masiela Lusha) has amnesia!  Even though she does occasionally have flashes of memory, she can’t put together what they all mean.  She has no idea who she was or why she was dumped in the water.  Eventually, she starts using the name Renee but that’s just because she saw a boat named Renee before she nearly drowned.

Amnesia, needless to say, is always a good way to start an intriguing story.  I mean, let’s be honest.  The idea that people can suddenly forget everything is really quite fascinating.  It’s impossible not to wonder what you would do if you were in the same situation.

Despite having no idea who she is, Renee tries to start a new life for herself.  A nurse and a police officer become her new BFFs.  Her therapist becomes her new parental figure.  She even gets a job and a new boyfriend (played by Kyle McKeever), one who is surprisingly good at karaoke!  That’s really not too bad for someone who, just a few weeks previously, was being dumped over the side of the boat.

Except, strange things keep happening.  She loses her job when semi-explicit Polaroids mysteriously appear on her desk.  She continues to have flashes of disturbing images and she’s convinced that someone tried to drown her while she was taking a bath.  She thinks that she sees a mysterious man following her around.  And that perfect new boyfriend of hers?  Well, he appears to be just a little bit too perfect.  It’s hard not to suspect that he’s hiding something.  Especially when he takes her to an isolated cabin which, in a Lifetime movie, is never a good sign…

I enjoyed Forgotten Evil.  This is pure and enjoyable melodrama, well-directed by Anthony C. Ferrante and featuring all sorts of twists and turns.  Masiela Lusha is likable and sympathetic in the main role.  All in all, this is a fun Lifetime movie.  Keep an eye out for it.

What Lisa Watched Last Night #160: Nightmare Wedding (dir by Jose Montesinos)


Last night, in between wrapping birthday presents and eating dinner, I watched the latest Lifetime premiere, Nightmare Wedding!

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Why Was I Watching It?

It all started a little over 6 years ago when Arleigh asked me if I’d like to review movies for the Shattered Lens.  When I said yes, that meant I was promising to watch and review as many movies as possible.  If I hadn’t watched and reviewed Nightmare Wedding, I would be breaking my promise to Arleigh!

Add to that, Nightmare Wedding was a Lifetime film and I love Lifetime films!  And let’s be honest — how can you not watch something called Nightmare Wedding?  That’s a great title!

What Was It About?

After six years of dating, Max (Isaac Reyes) and Sandy (Nicola Posener) are finally getting married!  However, there’s a bit of a problem: Max’s friend, Roman (Evan Henderson), suddenly shows up for the ceremony.  Before she got together with Max. Sandy briefly dated Roman.  Now, she hates Roman.  Her family hates Roman.  He friends hate Roman.  Everyone hates Roman except for Max!

For his part, Roman is still in love with Sandy and he’s obsessed with both stopping the wedding and winning her back.  And if that means that he has to kill a few people, send a few incriminating text messages, and do a few other shady things, that’s what Roman’s going to do!

Sandy’s friend Lisa (Angie Teodora Dick) attempts to confront Roman about his stalkerish behavior.  Unfortunately, she makes the mistake of doing this while standing on the edge of a cliff.  Roman responds by tossing her over the side.  AGCK!  I hate it when they kill off anyone named Lisa!

What Worked?

This was the epitome of a Lifetime guilty pleasure.  Yes, the plot was totally ludicrous and, to a large extent, Roman’s plan depended upon everyone being an idiot.  But, even with that in mind, the movie was still a lot of fun.  One thing that I especially appreciated was the fact that Roman was so obviously psychotic and yet no one ever seemed to notice or care.  Normally, that might be cause for criticism but Nightmare Wedding pushed things to such an extent that it became oddly charming.

Nicola Posener did a good job in the role of Sandy.  You had sympathy for her and you really did find yourself hoping that she would get to have her dream wedding.  Evan Henderson went so far over the top as Roman that his performance actually worked in a very odd and unexpected sort of way.

(Add to that, Evan bared just enough of a resemblance to Ryan Hansen that I could pretend that I was watching a spin-off of Veronica Mars.)

What Did Not Work?

Max was such a wimp!  Seriously, after about five minutes, I found myself repeatedly shouting, “Be a man!” whenever he showed up on the screen.  You didn’t want Sandy to get together Roman but, at the same time, it was impossible not to feel that she could have done a lot better than Max.

“Oh my God!  Just like me!” Moments

I related to Megan (Gina Vitori), Sandy’s fun-loving sister.  She was determined to have a good time, regardless of how many psychos showed up for the wedding.  Watching Megan defiantly refuse to take the wedding seriously reminded me of my own refusal to take 2016 seriously.  Good for Megan!

Lessons Learned

Never call out a psycho while standing on the edge of a cliff.  It’s just common sense.

Let’s Talk About Planet of the Sharks


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Yesterday, I watched the latest SyFy shark movie premiere — Planet of the Sharks!

As if there was any doubt, Planet of the Sharks is an Asylum movie.  And let’s give the Asylum some credit.  They know how to title their movies.  When I saw that this movie was called Planet of the Sharks, I immediately thought of Planet of the Apes.  I went into this movie expecting that it would feature speaking sharks and maybe a stranded astronaut shouting out, “Take your damn fins off of me, you damn dirty sharks!”

Well, needless to say, that doesn’t happen in Planet of the Sharks.  The sharks don’t speak, though they have apparently figured out how to leap out of the water and fly through the air.  And though there are a few stranded people, none of them are astronauts.  In fact, the only thing that Planet of the Sharks has in common with Planet of the Apes is a shot of the Statue of the Liberty.

But that’s okay!  What’s important is that seeing a title like Planet of the Sharks got me excited.  I was really looking forward to watching the movie and that enthusiasm carried me over some potentially rough moments.  It’s a brilliant title and The Asylum deserves all the credit in the world for coming up with it.

As for the film itself, it takes place in the future.  Apparently, humanity never did anything about all of that climate chance because the entire world has been flooded.  The Statue of Liberty is now underwater!  The few humans that are still alive live in crude floating cities, places that have names like Junk City and Sanctuary.

Speaking of Junk City, when the film begins, it’s in the process of being destroyed by a group of sharks.  That’s right — in a world where there’s too much water, the entire world becomes a shark feeding ground.  Add to that, it appears that all the plankton have died off.  The sharks have no choice but to eat human beings.

(And, quite frankly, it’s hard to blame the sharks.  When the people of Sanctuary gather to slaughter a group of sharks, they do it with so much savagery that you can’t help but sympathize with the sharks.  Importantly, it should be noted that this seemed to be what the movie was going for.)

Fortunately, there is hope!  A group of scientists think that if they can power up a transmitter and send a rocket into space, they’ll be able to change weather patterns.  (Or something like that.  To be honest, I had a hard time following their plan but what’s important is that it’s what they need to do to lower the sea levels and save the world.)  But in order to launch the rocket and power up the transmitter and do everything else, they’re going to have to avoid being eaten by rampaging sharks…

Planet of the Sharks was a little bit talky for an Asylum film.  That’s not necessarily a bad thing.  The film deserves some credit for trying to explain the science behind what was going on and for attempting to give the characters some sort of motivation beyond “Let’s blow up a bunch of sharks.”  Those looking for nonstop action may be a little bit disappointed.

But, no matter!  I liked Planet of the Sharks.  I appreciated the fact that it tried to make its dystopian future plausible and you could tell that the filmmakers had actually given some thought to the story.  It was actually kind of interesting to see the savage and sometimes odd culture that had risen up to replace the old world.  (The floating town of Sanctuary was especially memorable and disturbing.)

So, no, Planet of the Sharks did not feature talking sharks.  But it was still an enjoyable SyFy film.