Horror Film Review: The Survivor (dir by David Hemmings)


The 1981 film, The Survivor, opens with a group of school children watching as a plane crashes in the distance.  Of the 301 people on the plane, 300 die.  Somehow, the only survivor is the pilot, David Keller (Robert Powell).  It’s rare for a pilot to be the sole survivor, especially in a crash as severe as the one in this film.  Even more shocking, David walks away without a scratch on him or any memory of what happened in the minutes before the crash.

Though the airline wants to keep David hidden away until after it has determined what caused the crash, David insists on helping with the investigation.  He is haunted by strange visions and the sound of screaming passengers.  He has to know if the crash was his fault or if there was a bomb on the plane.  While the tabloid press tries to take his picture, the families of the victims blame him for the crash.  “There he is,” one angry woman shouts at a funeral service that is overseen by Joseph Cotten (in his last film role), “the pilot who walked away!”

When one of the tabloid photographers gets a little bit too aggressive in his attempts to take David’s picture, he finds himself pursued by a ghostly apparition of a little girl.  The photographer is so frightened of the little girl that he stumbles in front of a train, which has to rank right up there as one of the dumbest ways that someone can die in a horror movie.  Later, the photographer’s girlfriend tries to look at one of the pictures of David and her hand is promptly chopped off by a paper cutter.  That’s not quite as bad as stumbling in front of a train.

As David tries to understand what is happening, he realizes that he’s being followed by a woman named Hobbs (Jenny Agutter).  Hobbs says that she is a medium.  She witnessed the crash and now, she’s in contract with the spirits of the dead.  At one point, David and Hobbs suddenly start trying to strangle each other.  They manage to break free of whatever has possessed them but it’s obvious that these spirits are not fooling around.  (That said, the attack begins and ends so abruptly that, for those of us watching, it inspires more confusion than fright.)

The idea behind The Survivor is an intriguing one.  The film was directed by David Hemmings, the British actor who is probably best-remembered for starring in the 60s classic, Blow Up and in Dario Argento’s classic Deep Red.  Along with co-founding Hemdale Films, Hemmings also directed a handful of movies.  Unfortunately, intriguing premise aside, The Survivor is not one of Hemmings’s better directorial efforts.  There are a few effective visuals and Jenny Agutter is well-cast as Hobbs but the film’s pace is extremely slow and Robert Powell seems to be more bored than enigmatic as the title character.  The film’s plot calls out for an all-out grindhouse approach.  Hemmings’s instead gives us a stately and rather self-important film that ultimately feels like a lesser episode of some obscure 70s anthology show.

That said, this film does feature Joseph Cotten in his final film appearance.  He only has two scenes but he brings a quiet dignity to the role of the Priest.  The film doesn’t really work but Joseph Cotten and Jenny Agutter give performances that survive the wreckage.

Film Review: The Island (dir by Michael Ritchie)


Last night, after I watched Cutthroat Island, I continued to prepare for Talk Like A Pirate Day by watching The Island, a pirate movie from 1980.

Michael Caine has appeared in some truly bizarre films over the course of his long career but The Island may be the strangest.  (According to the imdb, it’s also one of the few films that he refuses to discuss in interviews, which is kind of amazing when you consider some of the films that Caine will discuss.)  In The Island, Caine is plays Blair Maynard, a cynical New York journalist who happens to have a cockney accent.  Looking to do a story about the Bermuda Triangle, Maynard heads down to Florida.  He takes along his 12 year-old son, Justin (Jeffrey Frank), because what father wouldn’t unnecessarily put his only child’s life in danger?  Of course, Justin isn’t happy when he finds out that his father lied about visiting Disney World but all is forgiven after Maynard buys him a gun.  Justin does love to shoot guns, which will become a plot point soon enough.

Anyway, Maynard and Justin soon discover that the reason people are disappearing in the Bermuda Triangle is because they’re being kidnapped by … wait for it … PIRATES!

David Warner and the Pirates

That’s right, real-life pirates!  Apparently, centuries ago, a group of French pirates set up a colony on an uncharted island in the Caribbean.  Now, under the leadership of the savage Nau (played by the very British and not very savage David Warner), these pirates spend their time attacking boats, murdering people, and speaking in an odd combination of English, French, and Portuguese.  However, centuries of in-breeding have weakened the bloodline.  So, while Nau brainwashes Justin and turns him into a little buccaneer, Maynard is given to Beth (Angela Punch McGregor) and told to “thrust thrust.”

Yes, that’s right.  This is a film in which a middle-aged Michael Caine — complete with his trademark glasses and his “what the bloody Hell?” attitude — is turned into a sex slave.  (Again, this is one of the few films that Caine apparently refuses to discuss.)  The scene in which Beth strips the chained Maynard naked and then starts to rub Vaseline on him would be strange regardless of who played the main role but when it’s Michael Caine, it goes beyond the merely strange to becoming almost a work of outsider art.

Anyway, the movie only gets stranger from there as Justin grows to love the pirate life style and, eventually, both he and his father even get to take part in a raid on a schooner.  It’s during this raid that, from out of nowhere, a guy in extremely tight shorts pops up and starts doing all sorts of elaborate kung fu moves.  (He also makes all of the expected kung fu sounds while David Warner has a good laugh.)  It’s also during this raid that the pirates come across several packets of white powder.

“It’s a drug called cocaine,” Maynard says.

“What does it cure?” Beth asks.

“Insecurity,” Maynard answers.

It all leads to not only an impromptu wedding ceremony but also to the sight of Michael Caine screaming his head off while firing a machine gun.  I think we’re supposed to feel that the ordeal has driven Maynard somewhat mad but it’s hard to tell.  Caine has always been open about the fact that, for many years, he basically just accepted any role that was offered to him and The Island would appear to be a perfect example.  Maynard may have been trying to rescue his son but Caine’s main concern was obviously getting his paycheck and moving on to the next role.

Michael Caine in The Island

The Island is one of those movies that’s so odd that it really doesn’t matter whether it’s any good or not.  Between the strange plot and Michael Caine’s almost comically detached performance, this one of those films that, once you start watching, you really can’t look away from it.  In the end, The Island is so weird and misjudged that it becomes brilliant despite itself.