Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network!  It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.

This week, two vigilantes disturb the peace, Cory meets a special guest star, and everyone continues to look stupid on their little bicycles.

Episode 3.13 “Avenging Angel”

(Dir by Terence H. Winkless, originally aired on December 14th, 1997)

This episode was dumb.

Cory is haunted by nightmares involving her mother, who died when Cory was 10.  In her latest nightmare, she runs into her mother at a crime scene and her mom shoots her!  Chris thinks that’s an odd dream and she’s right.  Cory explains that her mom is just trying to get her attention.  Cory believes that her mom is her guardian angel.  Chris doesn’t know how to react to this because Cory is expressing an emotion that doesn’t involve being snarky or self-righteous.

When Cory is injured while chasing two Korean brothers (we’ll get to them in a minute), she has to go to rehab.  Luckily, Olympic track medalist Florence Griffith Joyner is a patient at the same rehab clinic.  Joyner takes Cory under her wing and encourages her to work hard and get her knee back into shape.  When Cory says she’s thinking of leaving the force, Joyner tells her not to.  “Thanks, FloJo,” Cory replies.

(Yes, Florence Griffith Joyner played herself.  As an actress, she was a good athlete.)

As for the two Korean brothers, they are vigilantes who are beating up criminals on the boardwalk and becoming celebrities in their own right.  Palermo views them as being a threat to the peace and he’s determined to catch them.  Meanwhile, the Mob is determined to kill them and a very annoying talent agent is determined to sign them.

Ugh, what a stupid episode.  Usually, I’m a sucker for episodes that deal with people coming to terms with the death of a parent.  That’s something to which I can relate.  I have no doubt that my mom is also looking over me.  But, as much as I wanted to fully embrace Cory’s story, I couldn’t get past the fact that she went to rehab and just happened to meet an Olympic athlete.  Maybe if Joyner has been a better actress, this storyline would have worked but, as it was, it just felt forced.  There was really no reason why Joyner should have been so wrapped up in whether or not Cory decided to remain with the force.

As for the stuff with the brothers, the entire plotline felt like filler.  The brothers couldn’t act.  The actors playing the gangsters who wanted to kill the brothers couldn’t act.  The talent agents who kept popping up and talking about how much they wanted to sign the brother, they also couldn’t act.

This episode was just painful and all the rehab in the world isn’t going to change that.