Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Malibu CA, which aired in Syndication in 1998 and 1999.  The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

It’s time for another episode of the worst show ever produced by Peter Engel!

Episode 1.6 “My Hero”

(Dir by Gary Shimokawa, originally aired on November 15th, 1998)

Jason and Stads are finally admitting that they are a couple.  Normally, I would say that this is a step forward for them and a sign of growing maturity but Jason still cannot stand the fact that his girlfriend is more athletic to him.  (Did it not occur to Jason that Stads works as a lifeguard, a job that requires a certain amount of athleticism?)  Stads beats Jason at foosball.  She beats him at tennis.  She beats him at basketball.  She beats him at everything so, of course, when someone tries to rob the restaurant, Stads lets Jason have all the credit for knocking him out despite the fact that she’s the one who did it.

Oh yeah, this is a healthy relationship….

Everyone celebrates Jason as a hero.  Traycee gives him a picture of David Hasselhoff to sign.  The local news wants to do a story on him, for some reason.  Jason lets all the adulation go to his head and, on live television, says that Stads was cowering in a corner while he defeated the robber.  Stads proceeds to call him out and reveal what really happened, again on live television.

So, I guess that’s the end of that relationship, right?  Nope.  Jason apologizes and Stads takes him back because it would appear that Stads has no self-esteem.  Seriously, Stads — you’re a blonde lifeguard with a sweet personality.  YOU CAN DO BETTER THAN JASON!  (That said, I probably would have at least let him win a game or two of tennis, just to be nice.  And I wouldn’t have played basketball at all because everyone always seems to end with a skinned knee or a broken nose whenever they play that game.  Foosball, though …. TAKE NO PRISONERS!)

This is yet another episode of Malibu, CA where the main theme is that Jason Collins is the second worst person on the planet.  (The worst, of course, is his brother, Scott.)  Whiney and entitled is no way to go through life.

Speaking of being whiney, Scott is upset that Murray keeps tagging along on all of his dates with Sam.  So, Scott sets up Murray up with a girl who is as into surfing as Murray is.  Suddenly, Scott discovers that Murray is a big believer in double dating. Scott tries to explain to Murray that he’s becoming a third wheel but Murray thinks that Scott is talking about Murray’s new girlfriend so Murray dumps her so that he can spend all of his time with Scott and Sam.  Ha!  Take that, Scott, ya schmuck!

I hate this show.