Last night, around 3 in the morning, I watched the Lifetime film, Match, Meet, Murder!

Why Was I Watching It?

It was late, I had insomnia, and the title just spoke to me.  What can I say?  I had many reasons for my decision and I don’t regret it for a minute.

What Was It About?

Ruby (Stephanie Sy) is a lingerie designer who has been in a dating slump ever since ending her long-term relationship with independent journalist Luke (Erik Athavale).  Ruby’s friend, photographer Ella (Amanda Austin), gives her a secret code for the very exclusive Rima dating app.  Soon, Ruby is matched with Dylan (Jacob Blair).

Dylan, it turns out, is a bit of celebrity.  He was the winning contestant on a reality show hosted by notorious matchmaker, Jules (Lisa Marie DiGiacinto).  The season may have ended with Dylan getting engaged but his new fiancée mysteriously vanished.  Now, Dylan is dating Ruby and he doesn’t seem to be quite stable.  He still has his ex’s clothes hanging in his bedroom closet.  Run, Ruby, run!

What Worked?

I absolutely loved the demented performance of Lisa Marie DiGiacinto, who played Jules the matchmaker.  I can’t say too much about it without spoiling the film but I will say that DiGiacinto fully understood the importance of embracing the melodrama in a film like this.

Some of Ruby’s lingerie designs were cute.  The black bralette was adorable.  Of course, I’d never be able to wear it because I actually have boobs.

What Did Not Work?

I’m usually willing to suspend my disbelief when it comes to a Lifetime film because the melodrama is usually the point.  That said, I had a hard time believing that any successful woman could be as clueless as Ruby.  She acted as if the concepts of both dating apps and reality TV were entirely new to her.  I could excuse her dating app confusion because her character was said to be coming out of a long term relationship.  But, seriously — not knowing about a reality television show?  The Bachelor and The Bachelorette are inescapable, whether you watch them or not.  I haven’t been able to really sit down and watch Love Island but it only takes a few minutes of me scrolling twitter before I feel as if I have.

As well, it took Ruby way too long to figure out that there might be something strange about Dylan’s previous girlfriend disappearing.  Discovering her clothes still hanging in his closet?  That’s a bit too obvious of a red flag to be shrugged off for as long as she did.

“Oh my God!  Just like me!” Moments

Lingerie designer is definitely one of my fallback options if the whole movie-watching writer thing doesn’t work out.  I will also say that I related to the shock of the assistant who introduced Ruby to reality television and was shocked to discover just how little Ruby apparently knew about pop culture.

Lessons Learned

If a guy you barely know has all of his ex’s clothes still hanging in his closet, run!  To be honest, you shouldn’t need a movie to learn that lesson.