Back to School #22: Rock ‘n’ Roll High School (dir by Allan Arkush)

Posted on August 27, 2014 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Originally, when I started this series of Back to School reviews, I was planning on reviewing Grease. After all, everyone has seen that film. It’s on TV all the time. (Looking in your direction, AMC.) It’s a musical, which is a genre that I love but one which I also rarely seem to review. The movie features a good performance from Stockard Channing. It also has a lot of dancing and you know how much I love that. And speaking of love, a lot of people seem to absolutely love Grease.

But, the more I thought about it, the more I realized that while others may love Grease, I don’t. Oddly enough, I always seem to fool myself into thinking that it’s a fun movie but then I make the mistake of watching it whenever it pops up on AMC and every time, I am surprised to discover just how boring Grease really is. The majority of the cast play their roles as if they’re still on a Broadway stage and projecting to the back of the house. Olivia Newton-John is miscast. John Travolta appears to be acting on auto pilot. Both the songs and even Stockard Channing are never as good as I remembered. Worst of all, the dance numbers are so ineptly staged and filmed that, half-the-time, you can’t even see what anyone’s doing with their feet.

While I certainly don’t have any problem writing a negative review (and check out my thoughts on Avatar if you doubt me), I wanted to end the 70s on a positive note. So, instead of telling you that Grease isn’t good as many people seem to think, I want to recommend another film that, like Grease, features a lot of singing and dancing but which also happens to be a lot of more fun.

That film, of course, is the 1979 cult classic Rock ‘n’ Roll High School.

Things are amiss at Vince Lombardi High School. The students are so obsessed with rock and roll (and the music of the Ramones, in particular) that they have caused several principals to quit. The hallways are a disorganized mess. Student Riff Randall (P.J. Soles) spends all of her time having fantasies about the way that Joey Ramone eats pizza. A strange students named Eaglebauer (Clint Howard) runs a shadowy company known as Eaglebauer Enterprises out of a smoke-filled boy’s restroom. (He’s even got an administrative assistant to schedule meetings for him.) Handsome jock Tom Roberts (Vincent Van Patten) can’t get a date, largely because he’s obsessed with Riff who is obsessed with the Ramones. Little does Tom realize that Riff’s best friend, the sweet and intelligent Kate Rambeau (Dey Young), has a crush on him.

The school board hires a new principal to bring some peace to the high school. Ms. Togar (Mary Woronov) is a strict and mentally unbalanced disciplinarian who, with the help of two apparently subhuman hall monitors, is determined to suppress any sort of fun, rebellion, or free thought. Togar hates loud music, mostly because it causes white mice to spontaneously explode. (When, late in the film, a human-sized white mouse — or he could have just been a very strange man wearing a white mouse costume, the film is ambiguous on this point — attempts to enter a Ramones concert, he’s turned away for his own good. Until, of course, he reveals that he’s brought along headphones for his own protection…)

In the end, it all comes down to this: Togar and her allies want to burn records. Riff and the Ramones want to stop her. And maybe blow up the school. (David from Massacre at Central High would have been a fan of the Ramones.)

Rock ‘n’ Roll High School is an intentionally over-the-top film that both celebrates youthful rebellion while satirizing traditional high school films. The jokes (which are a good combination of the silly and the genuinely clever) come non-stop, the actors all bring a lot of energy to their roles, and the entire film is just a lot of fun. As played by P.J. Soles, Riff Randall really is the ideal best friend and I imagine that a lot of boys in 1979 probably walked out of the theater with a huge crush on both P.J. Soles and Dey Young. And finally, Mary Woronov gives a wonderfully demented performance as Ms. Togar.

Rock ‘n’ Roll High School seems like the perfect film to end the 70s with. Tomorrow, Back to School continues with the 80s! So, if you’ve never seen Rock ‘n’ Roll High School before, watch it below!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gKUHFI1dnKo

Back to School #21: Malibu High (dir by Irving Berwick)

Posted on August 27, 2014 by Lisa Marie Bowman

For the past four days, we’ve been taking a chronological look at some of the best and worst films about high school and teenagers. We started with two films from 1946 and now, 19 reviews later, we are approaching what may very well be the golden age of high school films, the 1980s. However, before we officially start in on the 80s, I would like to take a look at two films from 1979.

The first of these films is Malibu High and, despite the generic title, it’s perhaps one of the strangest movies ever made. Whether that strangeness is intentional (as I believed the first time I watched the film) or simply the result of inept filmmaking (as I started to suspect after I watched it a second time) is the question.

Malibu High tells the story of Kim Bentley (Jill Lansing), who is literally the most jaded high school senior ever. When the film begins, we watch as she wakes up in the morning, sits naked in her bedroom, takes a long drag off of a cigarette, and stares into a mirror with a look that suggests she’s on the verge of attacking her own reflection. Kim’s mother (Phyllis Benson) yells at her that she’s going to be late for school. Kim shouts back that maybe if her mother had made an effort to actually dress up and look good then maybe Kim’s father wouldn’t have committed suicide.

Kim Bentley prepares to face another day at Malibu High.

Once she does arrive at school, things don’t get any better for Kim. She’s dumped by her boyfriend, Kevin (Stuart Taylor). Kevin, it seems, would rather date a girl with more money and less mental issues so he starts going out with the spoiled Annette (Tammy Taylor). Soon, Kim is failing all of her classes, having flashbacks to the day that she found her father’s body hanging in his study, and working for the local pimp/drug dealer Tony (Alex Mann).

Kim, however, is determined to turn her life around. She seduces (and subsequently blackmails) all of her male teachers and is soon getting straight A’s in every class except for English, which happens to be the only class she takes that is taught by a woman. When the high school’s principal figures out what Kim is doing, Kim responds by undressing in front of him and causing him to have a fatal heart attack.

Meanwhile, Kim meets Lance (Garth Howard), another pimp who is a little more refined than Tony. Kim is soon working for Lance but, after she stabs a client to death with an ice pick, Lance realizes that Kim has actually missed her calling and he puts her to work seducing and assassinating rival gangsters. As the movie reaches its conclusion, Kim in not only a rich honor student but she’s now a professional assassin as well.

What more could Kim want out of life, right?

However, Kim is still obsessed with her ex and, one day, she happens to see Kevin and Annette on the beach….

Ellen Burstyn did it better.

The first time I saw Malibu High, I assumed that it had to be a satire. That was the only way I could think to justify the film’s over-the-top performances, melodramatic plot, and heavy-handed dialogue. I mean, what else could I think when the film actually goes so far as to feature Kim saying, “I’m serious …. DEAD SERIOUS!” before assassinating a gangster. Or how about Annette’s description of Kim: “She’s a piece of shit! She’s proving she’s a piece of shit!” Add that to the fact that the plot is basically a version of one of those old educational films where making the slightest mistake leads to the most extreme consequences possible and how could I not think that Malibu High was actually a brilliant satire?

However, on subsequent viewings, it’s become more apparent that Malibu High‘s satire is of the unintentional kind. In fact, it’s amazing just how seriously Malibu High actually does take itself. The end result is a film that’s not meant to be funny but still manages to be hilarious.

You may not be surprised to discover that Malibu High was a product of Crown International Pictures. And, like most CIP films, it can be found in a few dozen different box sets. And it’s worth watching just so you can say that you’ve had the experience.

Back to School #20: Coach (dir by Bud Townsend)

Posted on August 27, 2014 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Just from watching the trailer above, you probably think that the 1978 film Coach is just your standard high school sports film. And, in many ways, it is. But, since it was made in the 70s, things still get a little bit weird. Before proceeding, I should probably point out that Coach (like the similar The Teacher) was produced by Crown International Pictures. But you probably already guessed that.

An exclusive California high school has a problem. The boy’s basketball team is having a terrible season. The most powerful man in town, F.R. Granger (Keenan Wynn), demands a change! (You can tell that Granger is powerful because he goes by his initials.) After ordering the hapless basketball coach to resign, Granger and the school board hire Randy Rawlings to replace him. Oddly enough, they don’t actually interview Randy for the job or attempt to meet Randy ahead of time. They just know that Randy is a former Olympian and are overjoyed when Randy accepts the job.

On Randy’s first day on the job, everyone is shocked to discover that Randy Rawlings is — GASP — a woman! Now, I’ll admit that this film is a little bit before my time and the world was probably a lot different back in the 70s but, as an Olympic medalist, wouldn’t Randy be a bit of a celebrity? And would anyone as obsessed with winning as F.R. Granger actually hire a coach sight unseen? Anyway, F.R. is none too happy to discover that Randy (Cathy Lee Crosby) is a woman and tries to fire her on the spot. Sorry, F.R. — can’t be done. As Randy points out, F.R. needs cause to fire her.

After forcing them to all take a cold shower and then coaching them to a few victories, Randy wins over the team. She also starts sleeping with one of her players (played by a very young and handsome Michael Biehn) and this is where the movie gets weird. I kept expecting this affair to be discovered and used by F.R. as an excuse to fire Randy. Because, after all, why would any film feature a rather creepy subplot about a teacher sleeping with a student unless it was somehow going to pay off in the end? But instead, the affair just sort of happens and never really ties back into the main plot of whether or not Randy will be able to coach the team to having a winning season.

Now, I know you’re probably thinking to yourself, “What would the great Russian writer Anton Chekhov think about this?” Well, here’s an exact quote from Mr. Chekhov:

“Remove everything that has no relevance to the story. If you say in the first chapter that there is a rifle hanging on the wall, in the second or third chapter it absolutely must go off. If it’s not going to be fired, it shouldn’t be hanging there.”

In other words, Coach was definitely not written by Anton Chekhov.

Anton Chekhov ponders the narrative failings of Coach

Back to School #19: The Pom Pom Girls (dir by Joseph Ruben)

Posted on August 27, 2014 by Lisa Marie Bowman

The Pom Pom Girls was released in 1976, the same year as Massacre at Central High. It also features two actors who made quite an impression in Central High — Robert Carradine and Rainbeaux Smith. However, that is where the similarities end because, whereas Central High was a political allegory disguised as an exploitation film, The Pom Pom Girls is an almost prototypical 70s teen comedy. Whereas Central High was all about subtext, The Pom Pom Girls has no subtext. Try to look between the lines of The Pom Pom Girls and all you’ll find is blank space. And, finally, while Central High remains a difficult film to see, I’ve lost track of how many of my Mill Creek box sets include The Pom Pom Girls.

The Pom Pom Girls is about … well, close to nothing. Johnnie (Robert Carradine) and Jesse (Michael Mullins) are students at Rosewood High School in California. Because the film was made in 1976, they spend most of their time driving around in a van and listening to MOR radio stations. Johnnie and Jesse are also star football players, which is one of the odd things about the film because, while Carradine is genuinely likeable and Mullins makes for a plausible sullen high school student, neither one of them comes across as if they could be football players. The big game comes up against rival Hardin High, so there’s a prank war that involves a little more nudity than the ones on Saved By The Bell ever did. Johnnie and Jesse also have girlfriends, both of whom are cheerleaders. Jesse cheats on his girlfriend but apparently, the audience is supposed to sympathize with him because she refused to go to the beach with him. Johnnie, meanwhile, has a leather jacket-wearing nemesis named Duane (Bill Adler), who is upset because Johnnie is dating his ex. As often happens, it all ends with a recreation of the famous “chicken run” from Rebel Without A Cause. We watch a car explode from three different angles. In order to leave you with some suspense, I will not mention whether anyone was in the car.

You’re welcome.

And a fun time was by all…

One of the strange things about The Pom Pom Girls is that while the two main characters and their girlfriends are all presented as being rebels, they’re also presented as being the most popular kids in school. Johnnie and Jesse are the captains of the football team. They’re dating the captains of the cheerleading squad. Despite the movie’s attempts to convince us otherwise, these people are not rebels fighting the establishment. Instead, they are the establishment. This is actually something that The Pom Pom Girls has in common with Richard Linklater’s far superior Dazed and Confused. The difference, however, is that Dazed and Confused actually calls its character out on the hypocricy of their posturing while The Pom Pom Girls just tries to have the best of both worlds. Johnnie is both a star football player and the class clown who breaks the rules. Jesse is both a great team player and an angry individualist. I guess that’s the 70s for you.

He owns a van. It has shag carpeting and a strobe light.

Back in high school, I was often asked to try out for cheerleading but I never did. For one thing, I didn’t see why I should have to try out when they could have just easily approached me and said, “Hi, will you please be the new head cheerleader?” Even beyond that, I couldn’t stand the idea of always having to be happy. And, perhaps most importantly, my sister was already a cheerleader and I wanted to establish my own thing. However, I still made Erin watch The Pom Pom Girls with me and I asked her if the film was a realistic portrait of high school cheerleading. In response, she rolled her eyes which I believe was her way of saying no.

But, even if it isn’t exactly Bring It On, The Pom Pom Girls still does have some worth as a time capsule of the clothing, attitudes, and vans of the 70s. To be honest, that’s probably the only thing of value that The Pom Pom Girls has to offer because, otherwise, it’s basically a film about a likable guy who spends all of his time hanging out with a guy who will literally not stop whining about being a football player and how nobody is willing to go to the beach with him.

Incidentally, The Pom Pom Girls was released by Crown International Pictures. Much like the company’s previous film, The Young Graduates, the main message here appears to be that the 70s kind of sucked.