Technically, I didn’t watch this last night.  I watched it earlier this morning on Prime.  But seriously, morning?  Night?  When you sleep as little as I do, it really doesn’t make a difference.

Why Was I Watching It?

As most of our longtime readers know, I love Lifetime movies.  I used to review hundreds of Lifetime movies a year.  Unfortunately, over the past few years have been busy one and I haven’t been able to keep up with the latest Lifetime films like I used to.  That’s something that I want to change so I’ve decided to start getting caught up with this year’s films.  It’s time to once again embrace the melodrama!

After getting two hours of sleep, I woke up this morning feeling under the weather.  I told my sister to go to mass and say a prayer for my continued life.  And then, once I had the house to myself, I watched Killing The Competition.  Why did I pick that particular Lifetime film?  Three words: Melissa. Joan. Hart.  SABRINA!  Hart has appeared in her share of Lifetime films over the past few years and she always throws herself into each one.  When I read that this film featured Hart as an obsessive cheer mom, I knew there was no way I couldn’t watch.

What Was It About?

In high school, Elizabeth (Melissa Joan Hart) was a cheerleader and a  member of the chess team.  (“See, I was smart!” she says while looking through an old yearbook.)  She claims that she was head dancer, even though the cheerleading team has never had a head dancer.  Now that she’s married and bored with her suburban existence, Elizabeth pushes her teenage daughter, Grace (Lily Brooks O’Bryant), to try out for the squad.  When Grace isn’t selected, Elizabeth lodges a formal complaint and the mayor of the town announces that not only will Grace be a cheerleader but so will every other girl who was rejected that year.  Grace is excited but Elizabeth is worried that this will now cause people to view Grace as being a loser who was forced onto the team.

At first, I assumed that Elizabeth would be one of those cheer moms who hired a hitman to take out one of her daughter’s cheer rivals.  Instead, Elizabeth turns out to be so pathologically jealous that she gets upset when her daughter makes the team.  Elizabeth convinces herself that Grace’s boyfriend is cheating with another cheerleader (Valerie Loo) and that Grace is about get dumped.  When Grace doesn’t get dumped or humiliated, Elizabeth goes off the deep end.

What Worked?

Again, three words: Melissa. Joan. Hart.  Whether she’s sneaking into cheerleader try-outs or spying on her daughter while wearing sunglasses and a wig, Hart is a total joy to watch as Elizabeth goes mad with envy.  Elizabeth tries to run her daughter’s boyfriend over with her car.  Elizabeth steals her daughter’s phone and sends texts.  (She takes a picture of a wedding dress and sends Grace’s boyfriend a text that reads: “Thinking of the future.”)  Elizabeth insists that everyone try on her former cheerleading uniform.  Elizabeth talks about how no one will ever forget who you were when you were in high school.  Elizabeth points a gun at people and then tries to convince them that it’s no big deal.  Elizabeth does a lot of things and Melissa Joan Hart does a great job portraying each and every one of them.

What Did Not Work?

At times, this film was almost too self-aware.  That may seem like a strange thing to say about a Lifetime film but I always like the Lifetime films that are subtly self-aware as opposed to the ones that attempt to scream from the rooftops, “We’re laughing with you!”  The best Lifetime films often feel like a private joke between the network and its fans, one that only devoted watchers will be able to fully understand and appreciate.

“Oh my God!  Just like me!” Moments

Watching this film, I realized how lucky my sister Erin and I were.  Our mom was supportive but she wasn’t crazy.  She went to every game when Erin was a cheerleader.  No matter where we were living, she always found me a dance teacher and she always told me how proud she was of me and she always made me feel like I was the greatest dancer in the world.  She was supportive and, though we didn’t appreciate it at the time, she sacrificed a lot to make sure we could do what we wanted to do.  But, at the same time, she never tried to kill anyone.  We never had to deal with the awkward moment of the police showing up at the house with an arrest warrant.  That was a good thing.

Lessons Learned

I still enjoy Lifetime movies!  Yay!