Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 1.17 “Hitch-Hiking Hitch”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983.  The entire show is currently streaming on Freevee!

This week, Baker solves everything!

Episode 1.17 “Hitch-Hiking Hitch”

(Dir by Phil Bondelli, originally aired on February 9th, 1978)

It’s another crazy week on the highways of California.

Baker saves a wind sailor who loses control of his boat while testing it on the freeway.  Baker saves a trucker when the brakes go out on his rig.  Baker helps out an old man (George Chandler) who refuses to leave his home until he’s promised that he and his dog won’t be put in an assisted living facility.  Baker tells two teenagers, Jenny (Lark Gein) and Marge (Stacy Nelkin), about the dangers of hitchhiking on the highways.

In other words, this is yet another first season episode of CHiPs where the main theme seems to be that Ponch is thoroughly useless.  Oh, don’t get me wrong.  Ponch definitely helps out.  When Baker tells Ponch to direct traffic, Ponch hops off his motorcycle and starts waving at cars to either stop or go.  But it’s still hard not to notice that, when something needs to be done, Baker is the one who does it.  Indeed, Baker is usually the only one who knows how to do it.  You have to kind of wonder why he’s not in charge since he always knows what to do.

Still, Sgt. Getraer is the man in charge and he’s been named “Sergeant of the Month” by CHiPs Magazine.  Ponch and Baker are worried that Getraer is too humble to really enjoy the honor.  For some reason, Ponch thinks that playing a joke on Getraer by switching out his helmet will make Getraer enjoy life more.  It really doesn’t make much sense to me but this is Ponch that we’re talking about.

There’s an odd scene where Ponch and Baker are having lunch at a diner.  A man in a van pulls up and sees that their bikes are in the parking spot that he wants.  The man, who is rather large, picks up the bikes and puts them on the sidewalk.  He then picks up a car and moves it to the side.  Luckily, Getraer rolls up and gives the guy a ticket.

While Baker and Getraer are doing their jobs, Ponch is trying to get laid.  When Mary Kate (Katherine Cannon) comes to the station to bail out her sister (who is one of the hitchhikers), Ponch takes one look at her and says, “I bet you were named after your grandmother, who was also very beautiful.”  Mary Kate responds that she was named after two spinster aunts.  She goes on a few dates with Ponch and claims that her sister has been led astray by her friend.  It turns out Mary Kate is wrong and her sister is the one who keeps insisting on hitchhiking.

The hitchhiking nearly ends in disaster but fear not!  Baker is there to save Marge from some creeps driving a van.  Seriously, what would California do without Jon Baker?

Anyway, the scene with the out-of-control truck was kind of exciting but otherwise, this was a typical episode of CHiPs.  It wasn’t particularly memorable but the California scenery was lovely to look at.  Anyone want to go wind sailing?

Quick Horror Review: Halloween III – Season of the Witch (dir. by Tommy Lee Wallace)


halloween-3-season-of-the-witch-movie-poster-1982-1020194512-1And then, in 1982, the story of Halloween went off the rails in what I feel was the coolest way possible. And to think, some felt Rob Zombie’s Halloween II went off the mark.

Halloween III: Season of the Witch was mostly a flop when it was released. It managed to make the money to cover the film’s budget, but the film was hurt by the lack of connection to the original series. I think most people at the time were just expecting to see more of Michael Myers and wondered just what the hell this was about. Imagine if The Force Awakens had absolutely zero ties to the main characters in the Star Wars Universe. Actually, you might end up with The Ewok Adventure, but that’s a different review for a different time. Still, Season of the Witch was just that kind of shake up when it was released.

Tommy Lee Wallace sat in the director’s chair this time around. Having actually played Michael Myers in the first Halloween film, Wallace does well here, showing he learned something about setting the scene. It all moves well, and the pacing isn’t too slow. Viewers expecting gore and attacks might find themselves sighing and fast forwarding a bit, but then again, it’s not that type of film. Season of the Witch has a slew of jump scares, though it does go a little overboard in the second half of the movie. Were it cut down to an hour, Season of the Witch could serve as a good Tales from the Darkside / Crypt episode. As a horror story, the body count is low (which is typical for a Carpenter story anyway)

From a writing standpoint, Season of the Witch is solid, though somewhat predictable. Writing duties were handled by John Carpenter (who couldn’t fully walk away from the project), Nigel Kneale, and Wallace himself. My favorite horror tales are the ones that surround the one or few individuals that have discovered something wicked, only to find that they can’t seem to get anyone else to believe what they’ve witnessed. It’s one thing to be chased by a maniacal killer or space creature. It’s another thing entirely to find out you’re the only thing standing between the creature and the rest of humanity. Films like The Wicker Man, every version of Invasion of the Body Snatchers and Count Yorga: Vampire are examples of this, and Season of the Witch handles this very well, particularly after everything is revealed to our hero and to the audience. Okay, the truth’s out. Who’d even believe you, if you told them? That’s always bothered me. The focus in Halloween deals more with it’s Celtic origins and the celebration of Samhain, and this honestly adds to the creep factor if you do a bit of background reading on it.

Season of the Witch starts a few days before Halloween, with a man on the run from men in black suits. He’s able to defeat the men after him, but not without taking on a few injuries. It’s in the hospital that we’re introduced to our hero in Dr. Dan Challis, played by Carpenter film alum Tom Atkins (The Fog, Escape From New York & Night of the Creeps). Challis has a pretty normal life – a good job, a wife and two kids. When the new patient warns him about some strange danger looming on the horizon and passes along a Halloween mask, Challis decides to share his information with the man’s daughter, Ellie (Stacey Nelkin). Ellie believes that her father died due to foul play, and nothing is going to stop her from finding out why it happened. Challis makes a quick call to the Missus, lies about what he plans to do (he spends a great of his conversations with her like this, as he’s basicially cheating on her), and  continues on the mission. Dan and Ellie find their way to a small town called Santa Mira and to Conal Cochran (played by Dan O’Herlihy, also in The Last Starfighter & Robocop), owner of the Silver Shamrock company.

The trailer and videos actually give away more of the film than I ever could. If you have the chance to watch it, give a try. I don’t think it’s the worst film ever, but others expecting knife wielding killers may find themselves disappointed. Besides, if you take nothing else away from the film, there’s always the catchy Silver Shamrock Jingle to remind us of the fun in Halloween. The jingle was created by Wallace and Carpenter, with Tommy Lee Wallace providing the vocals and reminding us all to get our Silver Shamrock masks.