Film Review: Mommy’s Little Boy (dir by Curtis Crawford)


On Saturday, Lifetime presented a Mommy Madness marathon, showing a series of melodramas that all, in some way, involved motherhood.  They showed everything from Killing Mommy to Mommy’s Secret to Mommy’s Little Girl.  They ended the night with not one but two premiere films!  Needless to say, I was excited.  After missing last week’s Lifetime movie (though I did DVR it so fear not!), I was looking forward to embracing the melodrama not once but twice!

The first premiere was Mommy’s Little Boy, which naturally came on immediately after Mommy’s Little Girl.  Just judging from the title and Lifetime’s previous record when it comes to children, I assumed that Mommy’s Little Boy would be about a homicidal child.

It turns out I was incorrect.  Don’t get me wrong, of course.  The kid does kill at least one person.  Actually, I think he killed two people but the film is a little bit ambiguous as to whether or not little Eric (Peter DaCunha) meant to let his half-brother Max (Auden Larrat) drown.  You really couldn’t blame Eric if that was the case.  Max was a stone-cold psychopath who started the movie threatening to attack a stray dog with a power drill.  Max got whatever he deserved.  As for that other murder that Eric commits — well, it’s self-defense.  Eric really had no choice.  Eric’s a good kid, dangit!

Instead, it’s his mother who is the problem.  Briana (Bree Williamson) has a really nice house but she’s the type of mother who is too busy sunbathing (while wearing an American flag bikini, no less) to notice that one of her sons is drowning in the pool behind her.  Briana is almost always drunk or stoned.  She brings strange men home with her.  She neglects Eric and sends him to school in grubby clothes.  She murders the neighbor for being condescending, banging her over the head with the same skillet that will later be used to prepare Eric’s breakfast.  Briana’s not the world’s best mother but, at the very least, she has a nice house.

Seriously, you have to see this house.  Have you ever seen House Hunters?  You know how the third house is always a really nice house that, we’re told, is a little bit outside of the house hunters’s budget?  (“Now, this is listed for a little more than you said you were willing to pay but the price may come down…”)  That’s the type of house that Brianna lives in.  Unfortunately, Brianna has kinda trashed the place.  At one point, she explains that she inherited the house after her parents died.  At least, for once, a Lifetime movie took the time to explain why even the trashiest of characters always live in the nicest of houses.

Anyway, Briana’s killed someone and she forces Eric to help her cover up the crime.  That kinda traumatizes Eric.  He’d much rather live with his softball coach, Michael Davis (Paul Popovich).  However, Briana is determined to get in her new boyfriend’s RV and flee to Mexico.  And she expects her only remaining son to come with her.  Whatever is Eric to do!?

Well, you probably already guessed what happens.  Mommy’s Little Boy was a standard Lifetime film but I liked it.  If nothing else, Bree Williamson deserves some sort of award for how totally and completely she throws herself into the role of Briana.  It takes courage to play someone that trashy without winking at the audience but Williamson does it.  Overall, Mommy’s Little Boy was an entertaining addition to Lifetime’s stable of films about mentally unstable maternal figures.

Hallmark Review: One Starry Christmas (2014, dir. John Bradshaw)


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Don’t you hate it when you sit down to write about a movie and you have no idea how to start it? That’s when you break out The Ramones and just start it by saying you have no idea how to start it. This movie on the other hand starts when we meet our leading lady named Holly Jensen (Sarah Carter) and her boyfriend named Adam (Paul Popowich). Ah, I knew I recognized Paul Popowich. He was on Degrassi: TNG and that short lived Canadian attempt to create both a new Nancy Drew and a new Hardy Boys TV Show. I think these opening scenes can be best described through these three screenshots.

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She is a doctor of astronomy and her Hardy Boy boyfriend is a lawyer. He is going to have to be absent on Christmas because a business opportunity has come up that calls him away to New York. If only he knew he was in a Hallmark movie, then he would have known that is the mark of death for a current boyfriend. Might as well have put up the crown signal to send a message to all men in the area that now is the time to pounce on her. Well, it turns out that her parents are also in New York.

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She gets the idea to visit her parents after looking at a picture of herself and Adam on MyBudsBook. It’s obviously the pot smokers version of Facebook. Then she buys bus tickets because the movie works better having her meet Luke (Damon Runyan) there, then on a plane. That, and her character is supposed to be afraid of flying. Hmmm…funny that both the guys she has vying for her heart both had recurring roles on Degrassi: TNG. By the way…

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these are some of the best fake Internet screens I have seen this year. I just watched Nightcrawler (2014) and it didn’t even fake the Internet this well.

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This is Luke who seems to be talking to me about the boom mic popping into frame in movies. He is a cowboy cause of course he is. He is on his way to a rodeo. At this point, I must admit this was making realize I really should have reviewed Ballad Of A Soldier (1959) for Veteran’s Day.

The bus breaks down and the two of them have a moment. She shares her love of astronomy with him. They have a similar moment later when they talk about Orion. I must say I was disappointed that she didn’t share the origin of Ursa Major with him. That being the story of when Hercules threw a bear into space.

And no, Luke never fights eight men, then throws a log into space. He doesn’t need to because she already likes him and it turns out her dad is a big western fan. It also helps that Damon Runyan does a good job of just playing a helluva nice guy. They could have made him a high price lawyer too and we still would have totally bought that she should be with him.

The rest of this movie is a couple scenes where we see the two of them have some quality time, and the rest is poor Adam drowning. Luke even whips out a brother who can sing. Once Luke got the folks at the company party who were hiring Adam to do line dancing, it was all over. Shortly afterwards she breaks up with him, but not after saying she wants something that honestly sounds like quite the tall order even for Luke:

“No, Adam. I want love. Not the comfortable, safe kind. I want extraordinary, passionate, everything in sync love where their touch electrifies your soul. When what you want most in the world is to make them happy.”

Okay Holly, but that is a bit much for this movie. Just saying. Regardless, she should be with the cowboy. And yes, he shows up on a horse and they kiss.

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I think this is the third Hallmark movie I’ve seen where the guy shows up at the end on a horse. However, it’s the first one where it makes sense. They set it up nicely, he decides to go after her while he’s at the rodeo, and he’s a cowboy to begin with. It fit much better here than in the other two.

My only real complaint about this movie is why did they bother with the character of Adam? I think this would have been deeper and more moving if she had just got on the bus to visit her family, they meet, and they spend the rest of the movie falling in love. Nice and simple. Sure that would have made it a little tougher on screenwriter Rickie Castaneda, but I think it would have been better that way. He really felt like a third wheel on the movie itself. Still, I enjoyed this one. As always with Hallmark movies, it’s nothing to seek out, but it is a perfectly nice thing to flip on to kill some time around dinner for the holidays.

Seeing as I started this by mentioning The Ramones.

Here’s one for Luke (She’s The One by The Ramones):

Here’s one for Holly (I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend by The Ramones):

And here’s one for poor Adam (Indian Giver by The Ramones):