Last night, the Snarkalecs and I watched the world premiere SyFy movie Heebie Jeebies!  And wow — was it ever bad!

Seriously, how bad was Heebie Jeebies?  It’s so bad that I couldn’t even find a trailer for it on YouTube.  It’s as if the universe is trying to convince us that this film does not actually exist.  However, we know what we saw last night.

(As proof, here’s a picture of Michael Badalucco, whose over-the-top  performance as the gold-obsessed Billy Butler was one of the more commented upon aspects of the film.)

Why Were We Watching It?

That’s a question that many of us asked last night.

What Was It About?

Usually, low-budget monster movies on SyFy are a lot of fun but that’s because most low-budget monster movies on SyFy are made by the Asylum.  Unfortunately, Heebie Jeebies was not an Asylum film.

Instead, it’s a film about this monster that comes out of a mine and wanders around attacking people and eating gold.  You read that correctly.  This monster kills people and then eats their gold.   Will the town of Golderton survive?

What Worked?

Nothing.

What Did Not Work?

Everything.

“Oh my God!  Just like me!” Moments

I found myself relating to poor Veronica (Evie Thompson), the younger sister of a character that I named Deputy Dumbass (Robert Belushi).  All Veronica wanted to do was go out and have sex with her boyfriend but instead, she had to spend her entire night listening to her brother talk about how it wasn’t safe to go out just because of a little old monster that happened to be killing people.  Even worse, once she finally did what I would have done and sneaked out of the house, she and her boyfriend (who was kinda fugly, to be honest) ended up getting held hostage by two ex-convicts.

Lessons Learned

Only the Asylum should be allowed to make low-budget monster movies.