Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing City Guys, which ran on NBC from 1997 to 2001.  Almost the entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

Despite the fact that the Neat Guys haven’t been neat for a while, it’s time to review two more episodes of City Guys!

Episode 5.11 “Cassidy Couch”

(Directed by Frank Bonner, originally aired on October 20th, 2001)

Chris’s dad is investing in a play being written and directed by Derek Wagner, one of Broadway’s hottest directors!  (Oh yeah, Chris is rich.  It’s kind of funny how that aspect of Chris’s character kind of got pushed into the background.)  Cassidy thinks that she would be perfect for the lead role of an innocent pilgrim girl.  Chris offers to ask his dad to pull a few strings but Cassidy says that she wants to get the job based on nothing but her ability.

When Chris and Cassidy go to the auditions, Chris is surprised to see that Cassidy is dressed up like a pilgrim.  Cassidy explains that you should always dress for the role you want.  Chris spots another actress waiting to try out and says that apparently, she’s planning on auditioning to be a hooker.  (Boooo!  Way to be judgmental, Chris.)  Cassidy sees that the actress is wearing a short skirt and a tank top and she throws a fit.  “Excuse me!” Cassidy snaps, before demanding why the actress is dressed like me on a warm day.  The actress informs Cassidy that the director only casts attractive women and that her pilgrim outfit isn’t going to get the job done.  Cassidy rips off her pilgrim outfit and auditions in her pajamas.

(Personally, I’m more interested in whether or not Cassidy is a member of Equity because I doubt Broadway’s hottest director is going to be working on a non-union show.)

Cassidy does get a part in the show, though it’s not the starring role.  When Chris takes Cassidy to her first rehearsal, he overhears Derek Wagner having an argument with the actress he did cast in the lead role.  The actress tells Derek that he’s a pig and then she quits.  Derek then goes into the rehearsal hall and, after Cassidy approaches him and thanks him for giving her a small role, he promotes Cassidy to the lead role!

Chris is worried that Derek is “going to put the moves” on Cassidy.  Cassidy is offended at Chris’s suggestions that Derek wouldn’t just cast her for her talent.  But then, one night at rehearsals, Derek does exactly what Chris said he would do.  Cassidy quits the play.  Determined to expose Derek for being a predator, Chris and Jamal invite him onto their radio show and Derek agrees.  Why would Derek agree to go on a high school radio show?  It’s because the show needs Derek to do something illogical so it can end the story without having to leave the roof of Manny High.  If Derek had refused to appear on the show, Cassidy wouldn’t get a chance to confront in the booth and expose him to the handful of students who are actually dorky enough to listen to Chris and Jamal’s show.

This episode dealt with a real issue so let’s give it some credit.  Unfortunately, all the credit in the world isn’t going to make up for concluding the episode with Derek getting exposed on a high school radio program.  Derek is a Broadway director who is busy putting together his latest show.  He’s not going to appear on the Manny High Morning Show and he’s certainly wasn’t going to appear on a show hosted by the boyfriend of the actress who he just sexually harassed and then fired.  Not everything can be resolved on the roof of the school, City Guys!

Don’t even get me started on the B-plot, which featured L-Train getting psychic powers and having a premonition of Ms. Noble’s impending death.  Jamal, Al, and Dawn were really worried that Ms. Noble would die because apparently, these high school seniors who are on the verge of graduating don’t have a life outside of obsessing on their principal.  Fear not.  Ms. Noble did not die.  The most interesting thing about the B-plot was that Al and Dawn were dating, despite having broken up several episodes earlier.  Again, it would appear that this episode was meant to air earlier in the season but NBC aired it later, continuity be damned.

Episode 5.12 “Brother From Another Mother”

(Directed by Frank Bonner, originally aired on October 20th, 2001)

Here is the plot description of this episode, courtesy of Wikipedia:

There is a heat wave going through New York, Dawn convinces Ms. Noble to allow a small waiting pool on the roof of Manny High. Instead Al and Chris secretly set up a large swimming pool for the whole school to enjoy and relax. Ms. Noble later finds out about the pool when one of the many interruptions preventing her from having a peaceful lunch break is leaking water coming from the ceiling. She tells Al to get rid of the pool. Before he does this, Al attempts to conquer his fear of the pool and learn how to swim, but in the process he almost drowns. Ms. Noble comes in the nick of time to rescue him and decides to teach Al how to swim before she gets rid of the pool. Meanwhile, Jamal’s father and El-Train’s mother develop an attraction for each other while attending a parent-principal conference. They set up a date and have the time of their lives. Jamal freaks out and doesn’t know what to think of this blossoming relationship, the possibility of someone else being his mother, and the future of a new family. While El-Train is ecstatic that his mother is finding some happiness in her life and he is looking forward to a possible future of Jamal becoming his brother and Mr. Grant his father.

Wow, that sounds terrible!  This kind of makes me glad that this episode is one of the many from season 5 that has not been uploaded to YouTube.  How exactly could they put a large swimming pool on the roof with Ms. Noble noticing?  And why does everything have to be on the roof?  Wouldn’t it actually be hotter on the roof than it would be if they put the pool in the courtyard or something?  Add to that, how many times could Jamal freak out over the possibility of his father dating someone.  Grow up, Jamal!

Next week, this show will be two episodes closer to being over.

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing City Guys, which ran on NBC from 1997 to 2001.  Almost the entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

This week, Dawn finally get another date and L-Train gets a van.  Life is never less than exciting for the neat guys.

Episode 5.9 “Dawn Don’t Know Jack”

(Dir by Frank Bonner, originally aired on October 13th, 2001)

At the Manhattan Diner, L-Train tells Jamal and Al that he’s spent the past three years going to a junkyard and fixing up a van — the L-VAN!  And now that the L-Van is ready to be driven, L-Train has no problem giving his friends a ride to the DMX concert in New Jersey.  Even though Al and Jamal agree that L-Train’s van is kind of a mess (and it really is — just because you found the van in a junkyard doesn’t mean you can’t clean it out, L-Train!), they agree to allow L-Train to drive them to the concert.  However, when L-Train picks up a hitchhiker, the three of them end up getting robbed and tied up in the back of the van.  Fortunately, Ms. Noble just happens to be driving by so she …. wait a minute, what?  L-Train, Jamal, and Al are tied up in a van that’s parked off the side of the road in freaking New Jersey and their high school principal just happens to be driving by and decided to stop and explore an unwashed van?

I think we all know what happened here.  Ms. Noble set the boys up to be robbed.  Of course, the show doesn’t admit that.  The show would have use believe that it would be totally normal for L-Train’s high school principal to suddenly show up and untie him.  But we all know what really happened….

While that’s going on, Dawn has a new boyfriend!  Yay!  His name is Jack and he is an old friend of Chris’s.  It turns out that Jack is big into community service projects.  Dawn, because she has a crush on him, helps him build a house.  For some reason, Chris and Cassidy also help.  (When I was in high school, the last thing I ever wanted to do was help someone build a house.)  Anyway, Jack and Dawn go out on a few dates but Jack lets Chris know that he’s also seeing a girl named Jenna.  Chris tells Cassidy and then Cassidy tells Dawn and Dawn …. well, not surprisingly, Dawn refuses to believe it.  But then, at the party to celebrate the completion of the house, Dawn walks in on Jack giving Jenna jewelry.

Poor Dawn.  Dating Al really destroyed whatever self-esteem she once had.

This episode perhaps would have been more effective if not for the fact that the exact same cheating boyfriend storyline was also used on Saved By The Bell, California Dreams, Hang Time, One World, Saved By The Bell: The College Years, Saved By The Bell: The New Class, USA High, Sk8te, and every other show that Peter Engel ever produced.  Seriously, has Dawn never watched television before?

Let’s move on.

Episode 5.10 “Rosie O’Diner”

(Dir by Frank Bonner, originally aired on October 13th, 2001)

Here’s the plot description, according to Wikipedia:

Jamal falls for and after some mistakes in introducing himself, he hooks up with and starts dating one of the waitresses at the Manhattan diner named Rosie. She is very independent and not afraid to speak her mind, which proves to be trouble when she begins to offend customers who get on her nerves at the diner. After numerous complaints, Mr. Grant gives his son the uncomfortable job of firing her.

I had to go with the Wikipedia description for this episode because it hasn’t been uploaded to YouTube.  It sounds pretty stupid, from the silly title to the fact that apparently, Mr. Grant can’t fire his own employees but instead puts the responsibility on his teenaged son.  As far as Rosie offending the customers …. it’s New York.  People in New York can get away with being rude.  It’s a part of their charm.  That’s why we all secretly want to live there.

I’m kind of glad I had an excuse not to watch this one.

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing City Guys, which ran on NBC from 1997 to 2001.  Almost the entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

This week, Al and L-Train get a job and Jamal and Chris screw over yet another charity.

Episode 5.7 “Just For The Record”

(Dir by Frank Bonner, originally aired on October 6th, 2001)

Upset that the Manny High courtyard is so loud that she can’t even study for her midterms, Dawn tells Ms. Noble that she needs to do a better job as principal.  Dawn actually has a point.  Ms. Noble really is the worst and she proves that by deciding to teach Dawn (and, for some reason, Cassidy) a lesson by appointing them assistant principals.  I’m not really sure how that would work, especially in New York where the schools are notoriously unionized and promotions are rarely given to people who haven’t even graduated from high school.  Do Dawn and Cassidy get paid to work as principals?  Is Ms. Noble still getting paid despite the fact that she’s not doing anything?

Before Ms. Noble steps down as principal, she informs Al and L-Train that they need find an internship before they graduate.  (Do high school students usually get internships?)  Al and L-Train end up working at a record company.  L-Train works hard.  Al doesn’t.  L-Train gets a lot of responsibility and praise.  Al gets fired.  Al says that he’ll never forgive L-Train for not warning him that he was about to lose his job.  L-Train points out that he couldn’t tell Al because Al was never at work.

Anyway, it all works out in the end.  Because no one wants to spend any time with them now that they’re principals, Dawn and Cassidy suggest to Ms. Noble that students with bad grades should be publicly humiliated in the school courtyard.  Ms. Noble fires Dawn and Cassidy.  Meanwhile, Al miraculously realizes that he made a mistake and apologizes to L-Train.  What led to Al’s change of heart?  Probably the fact that the episode was nearly over and the conflict had to be resolved before the Peter Engel title card could flash on the screen.  As the episode ended, a really boring girl group performs while the audience goes crazy.

Eh.  Who cares?  This whole episode was dumb.  Let’s move on.

Episode 5.8 “Skips, Lies, and Radiotapes”

(Dir by Frank Bonner, originally aired on October 6th, 2001)

It’s Senior Ditch Day!  Al, L-Train, and Cassidy are going bungee jumping but Ms. Noble has decided that Chris and Jamal will not be joining them.  She has decided that Chris and Jamal will spend Cut Day doing a radio fundraiser for charity.  Chris and Jamal decide to try to fool Ms. Noble by placing plastic dummies in the radio booth and playing pre-taped recordings of their show.  It doesn’t work, of course.

Yep, this is yet another episode of City Guys where Chris and Jamal prove themselves to be the worst people in New York.  But you know what?  At this point, Ms. Noble deserves most of the blame.  How many times has Ms. Noble ordered Chris and Jamal to help out with a charity?  And, every single time, what’s happened?  Chris and Jamal have come up with a stupid plan to get out of it.  At this point, why does Ms. Noble waste her time with them?  And why do they still have a radio program, despite all of the trouble that it’s caused at Manny High over the years?  How incompetent is Ms. Noble?

The only two students to not skip school are Dawn and her rival, Kitty Collins.  Dawn and Kitty are competing to be valedictorian, which at this school apparently has less to do with maintaining good grades and more to do with kissing up to Ms. Noble.  Ms. Noble orders Dawn and Kitty to work on a presentation together and they learn an important lesson about team work and not trying to sabotage each other.  At the end of the presentation, Dawn says that Kitty should be valedictorian.  Kitty replies that Dawn deserves it.  “Okay,” Dawn say, “see ya.”  Again, it would seem like whoever has the top GPA should be valedictorian but I’ve noticed that’s rarely the case in these Peter Engel-produced high school shows.  Everyone is always turning down the honor or stepping aside to allow someone else to give the speech at graduation.  This just doesn’t seem like something that would happen in real life.

Anyway, Chris and Jamal hold a carnival on the roof of Manny High and raise money for the charity.  Ms. Noble hits them both in the face with a pie.  The whole thing just feels lazy.

Again, this was a dumb episode.  If Ms. Noble really cared about all of these charities, she wouldn’t continually be putting Chris and Jamal in a position where they could easily screw everything up.  Seriously, Ms. Noble’s the worst.

Next week, we’ll be one step closer to the final episode of this show.

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing City Guys, which ran on NBC from 1997 to 2001.  Almost the entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

This week, on City Guys, Ms. Noble attempts to kill the neat guys!  Who can blame her?

Episode 5.5 “Red Dawn”

(Dir by Frank Bonner, originally aired on September 29th, 2001)

Ms. Noble is upset that all of her students keep looking at their phones so she decides that the perfect solution is to take Chris, Jamal, and L-Train and force them to compete for the title of Manny High Survivor.  How do they win that title?  By spending three days in Central Park without food and shelter.

Uhmmm….

This episode is yet another example of Ms. Noble proving herself to be the worst principal in New York and her students blindly obeying her every whim.  I mean, Central Park is not exactly the safest place in the city and Ms. Noble is basically abandoning her students there for 72 hours.  Did she ask their parents beforehand?  If one of them gets killed by a mugger, wouldn’t Ms. Noble and Manny High and the entire New York City school system be legally liable?  Fortunately, Chris, Jamal, and L-Train are not mugged but a bear does escape from the zoo and chases them out of the park.  The bear then shows up at Manny High, interrupting the school dance.

Speaking of that school dance, Dawn is upset because Al is already dating a new girl.  She befriends Al’s new girlfriend and then tells her a lot of lies in order to make her and Al break up.  Fortunately, Dawn sees the error of her ways and, after Dawn comes clean, Al forgives her and then goes off and dances with his new girlfriend.  This is one of those storylines that would have been more effective if not for the fact that Dawn and Al as a couple never really made much sense to begin with.

Then again, this is a show where a high school principal forces three of her students to live in Central Park.  Nothing has to make sense anymore!

Episode 5.6 “Dances With Malcolm”

(Dir by Frank Bonner, originally aired on October 6th, 2001)

According to Wikipedia, here’s the plot summary of Dances With Malcolm:

Jamal teams up with Malcolm, his dance nemesis to audition as backup dancers for a group called six-street. Dawn and Cassidy ask Al and El-Train to secretly take over their advice column for women temporarily. So they can attend a taping of Late Night with Conan O’Brien. The column becomes a bigger success, but it proves to be an unfavorable double-edged sword for the two when Al and El-Train decide to manipulate the column for their own purposes.

I’m giving you the Wikipedia summary because this is one of the episodes that is not on YouTube.  That’s a shame because it sounds like it involved dancing and I always love any show that features dancing.  That said, this is City Guys so they would have found someway to screw it up.  I will say that I doubt Conan O’Brien made an appearance on this episode.  If he had, he probably would have been shown taping his show on the roof of Manny High.  As for Al and L-Train manipulating the column to their own purposes, that sounds more like a Chris and Jamal subplot.

Next week, we will be one step closer to the final episode of City Guys and that day I’m finally free from having to review this show.

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing City Guys, which ran on NBC from 1997 to 2001.  The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

This week’s episode of City Guys finds Chris getting stabbed and the neat guys failing to get vengeance.

Episode 5.3 “Chicken Run”

(Dir by Frank Bonner, originally aired on September 22, 2001)

Here’s the plot of this episode of City Guys, according to Wikipedia:

Jamal is labeled a chicken when he refuses to fight a gang member. Wanting to get rid of his reputation, he fights the gang member. The gang member pulls out a knife and stabs Chris, who was trying to save Jamal.

I’m giving you the Wikipedia description because this is one of the episodes of City Guys that is not currently available on YouTube.  I actually watched this episode on Tubi, several months before I started this Retro Television Reviews feature.  What I remember is that Chris was stabbed while trying to protect Jamal but it wasn’t a fatal wound.  He did end up in the hospital, where Jamal swore that he would never fight again.  So, I guess Jamal was willing to fight to protect his reputation but he wasn’t willing to fight to avenge Chris.  What a jerk.

Let’s move on …. though I will say that if someone ever stabbed me, I would totally expect all of my friends and family to track that person down and enact some Biblical justice …. but whatever.  Let’s move on….

SERIOUSLY, FRIENDS AVENGE EACH OTHER!

Okay, seriously, let’s move on….

Episode 5.4 “Papa Please”

(Dir by Frank Bonner, originally aired on September 22, 2001)

Fresh from not being avenged, Chris proves himself to be the world’s biggest idiot when he meets Cassidy’s father for the first time.  Consider that Chris and Cassidy have been friends for five season and they’ve been dating off-and-on for years but this is his first time to meet Cassidy’s father.

And perhaps that was a good thing because Chris totally blows it when he finally does meet Cassidy’s father.  First, Chris gets into an argument with him about whether or not Chris had the right away while crossing the street.  (Apparently, Cassidy’s father nearly ran him over.)  Then, once they get a booth at the Manhattan Diner (why not just meet on the roof of the school?), Chris says that he’s dating Cassidy because she’s hot and then he compares his radio show to Howard Stern despite having been specifically told not to mention Stern.

In other words, Chris is an idiot.

Cassidy’s dad forbids Cassidy to date Chris so Cassidy decides to pretend that she’s dating L-Train so that Chris will look better in comparison.  Cassidy’s dad takes an immediate liking to L-Train and soon, the two of them are golf buddies.  Good for L-Train.  He deserves a friend to play golf with.

While all this is going on, Al and Dawn are scandalized to discover that Ms. Noble is a smoker!  They force her to sit through a lecture in which Al dresses up like a giant cigarette.  I know I’ve said this before but …. MS. NOBLE IS THE PRINCIPAL!  SHE’S AN ADULT!  WHO CARES IF SHE SMOKES!?  It’s none of their business if she smokes!

Anyway, this leads to a dumb conclusion.  Chris is upset to learn that Cassidy has been pretending to date L-Train.  Cassidy’s Dad is upset that Cassidy has still been dating Chris.  “You never lied to me before,” says Cassidy’s Dad.  Really, never?  In the end, Chris convinces Cassidy’s Dad that he didn’t give him a fair chance by volunteering to stop seeing Cassidy if it’s causing trouble.  Cassidy’s Dad is so moved that he gives Chris permission to date his daughter.  Meanwhile, Dawn and Al convince several other students to pretend to smoke in order to show Ms. Noble that she’s a bad role model.

“It’s not easy watching someone you care about kill themselves,” Dawn says.

SHE’S THE PRINCIPAL, YOU WEIRDO!

I hope Ms. Noble smoked every day for the rest of her life.

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing City Guys, which ran on NBC from 1997 to 2001.  The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

It’s time to start the final season of City Guys!

Yay!

Seriously, I can’t believe that I’m nearly done with this stupid show.  This was the show that launched Retro Television Reviews and I’ve somehow managed to stick with it, despite the fact that Tubi dropped the show and I’m now having to watch it via crappy YouTube uploads.  That said, I’m ready to finish up City Guys and move on to a new show.

It may not take me that long to finish up the series because, as I previously mentioned, City Guys is no longer on Tubi.  Most of season 5 has been uploaded to YouTube but a few episodes are missing.  I will review what’s available.  The important thing is that the finale is available so we’ll get to see if the City Guys ever actually graduated from Manny High.

Episode 5.1 “This Old Nerd”

(Directed by Frank Bonner, originally aired on September 8th, 2001)

Season 5 opens with the students of Manny High once again revealing how strangely obsessed they are with their principal.  It’s Ms. Noble’s birthday so L-Train, Chris, Cassidy, and Dawn decide to give her an expensive watch as a gift.  (These people are way too obsessed with their principal.)  L-Train buys a watch from a “bearded woman” that he meets on the street.  Ms. Noble is crazy about the watch, which she says looks just like a watch that was recently stolen from her favorite store.  (“It was stolen by a man with a beard,” Ms. Noble explains.)  Ms. Noble says that she’s going to go by the store to get it fitted for her wrist.  The kids freak out, convinced that this will somehow land them in prison.

Instead, it lands Ms. Noble in prison.  Ms. Noble is forced to call into Chris and Jamal’s stupid radio show (which is apparently still a thing).  Chris, Cassidy, and L-Train head down to the jail to …. what?  Bail her out?  Why is Ms. Noble wasting her one phone call on the radio show?  Why isn’t she calling her husband or a lawyer or a bail bondsman?

Meanwhile, Jamal and Al make a bet as to whether or not Jamal can transform his nerdy friend Vincent into one of the cool kids.  Jamal wins the bet but being cool goes to Vincent’s head.  Vincent not only wants to be called Vince but he also quits the debate team!  Eventually, though, Vince overhears Jamal and Al talking about the bet and he realizes that Jamal was just using him.  Jamal apologizes and tells Vince that, to truly be cool, he just has to be himself.  Nice message.  I bet we’ll never see Vince again.

Anyway, Vince rejoins the debate team and he and Dawn win the debate tournament which, of course, is held on the roof of Manny High.  Why does everything have to happen on that roof?  That seems like that would be a huge safety violation.  I climbed out onto the roof of my high school one time and I got yelled at so this is personal to me.

So yeah …. Season 5 is off to a stupid start!  Let’s see if things improve in the second episode.

Episode 5.2 “E-Breakup”

(Directed by Frank Bonner, originally aired on September 8th, 2001)

Al and Dawn break-up yet again!  This time, it’s because Al discovered that Dawn was secretly talking to another guy online.  (That guy turns out to be L-Train.)  Personally, I think they should have broken up after they lost that stupid “best couple competition” to Billy and Ms. Noble at the end of season 4.  There are some things that a relationship just can’t survive!

Meanwhile, Chris and Cassidy are upset because Jamal is in a relationship slump and insists on being a third wheel on all of their dates.  They conspire to frame Jamal for vandalizing Ms, Noble’s office, which seems like a bit of an overreaction but whatever.  Jamal eventually starts dating someone.

I guess the theme of this episode was that everyone at Manny High was a terrible, shallow human being.  That sounds about right.

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing City Guys, which ran on NBC from 1997 to 2001.  The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

Today, we say goodbye to season 4!

Episode 4.26 “Blast From The Past”

(Dir by Frank Bonner, originally aired on February 24th, 2001)

The final episode of season 4 opens with the City Guys still at the Hamptons.  (Wow, I guess this must be a really long weekend or something.)  Chris is trying to plan “this one month anniversary surprise for Cassidy” and, for some reason, he thinks that it’s a good idea to ask Jamal and L-Train for advice.  “Come on, dawg,” the very white Chris says, “a brother needs some advice here.”

“First piece of advice,” Jamal says, “don’t talk like that.”

Jamal tries to argue that anniversaries aren’t a big deal.  Cassidy then enters the living room and announces that today is the 17-day anniversary of the first time that she and Chris said the same word at the same time and jinxed each other.  She got Chris a card and everything.  Anniversaries are very important and not just on this show.  I have an entire calendar full of anniversaries and if you want to be a part of my life, you better be prepared to memorize it.

Meanwhile, on the beach, Al and Dawn are hanging out with Ms. Noble and Billy, which makes absolutely no sense.  Al and Dawn make fun of Ms. Noble and Billy for being old.  “Anything you and Dawn can do, Billy and I can do better!” Ms. Noble indignantly declares.

“Is that a challenge?” Dawn asks.

“Oh, it is on!” Ms. Noble replies.

Uhmm….I’ve said this before but MS. NOBLE IS THE PRINCIPAL!  She shouldn’t even be hanging out with her students on the weekend, let alone challenging them on the beach!

Meanwhile, back at the vacation home, Chris has finally decided that he and Dawn will have a romantic dinner on the beach for their anniversary.  (There’s nothing more romantic than sand and sea crabs!)  The doorbell rings and, when Chris answer it, he’s surprised to see a girl named Nicole.  They hug and Nicole announces, “When I heard you were in town, I had to come see you and say hi!”

“When you’re done saying hi,” Jamal announces, “Maybe you can introduce a brother.”

Chris explains that Nicole is his ex-girlfriend.  Cassidy then enters the room and is a little less than happy to discover that Nicole is Chris’s ex-girlfriend and that Nicole lives in the Hamptons.  Cassidy says she’s from the city.  “I always wondered what it’s like to live in the city,” Nicole says, as if this episode is taken place in Appalachia as opposed to the Hamptons.

Somehow, Jamal and L-Train get roped into judging a dumb competition to determine whether Ms. Noble and Billy are a better couple than Dawn and Al.  Let’s just ignore the whole principal thing.  Billy and Ms. Noble are in their late 40s.  They are challenging two seventeen year-olds.

Back at the vacation home, Nicole and Cassidy return from shopping.  They’re getting along great until Cassidy asks why Nicole and Chris broke up.  “Chris was a cheater,” Nicole says.  Cassidy thinks that Nicole is referring to cheating at school.  Nicole explains that Chris also cheats on his girlfriends.  He’s a double cheater!

(But if Chris was such a cheater, why was Nicole so happy to hear that he was back in the Hamptons?)

Nicole reveals that when she confronted about Chris about being a cheater, Chris called her “the c-word.”

Cassidy gasps and I’ll admit that I gasped a little too.

“Yes,” Nicole says, “Clingy.”

(Interestingly, there’s no laughter or anything of that sort when Nicole says “clingy” so who knows?  Maybe that’s what the C-word referred to back in 2000.)

You can probably guess what happens next.  Chris is trying to set up the dinner without Cassidy finding out and Cassidy is convinced that Chris is cheating.  Jamal and L-Train attempt to help Chris out by announcing that the three of them just want to hang out as guys but, when Cassidy doesn’t get the message, Chris tells her, “This week will go a lot better if you try not to be so …. so …. so …. CLINGY!”

OH MY GOD, HE SAID IT!

While Cassidy worries about whether or not Chris is cheating on her, the dumbass Best Couple Competition continues.  Ms. Noble and Billy come over to Chris’s vacation home and they play a game where they try to guess what movie their partner is referring to.  Ms. Noble and Billy easily win so I guess it’s time for Al to transfer to another school.

Later, Cassidy tells Dawn that Chris used “the c-word.”

“Oh my God,” Dawn replies, “Clingy!?”

And again, there’s no laughter.  Either the joke went over the heads of the studio audience or it wasn’t a joke to begin with.

A deliveryman stops by and drops off some flowers.  He explains that Chris paid him money to deliver flowers for “a secret rendezvous on the beach.”  Cassidy, who is anniversary-obsessed, does not link this to their upcoming anniversary.  Jamal, however, tells Dawn (but for some reason, not Cassidy) that Chris is planning on a diner for Cassidy.

Cassidy confronts Chris about the flowers and breaks up with hi,.  Knowing that their friend is in pain, Jamal and L-Train promptly leave so that they can judge a tug-of-war competition between Ms. Noble and Billy and Dawn and Al.  Fortunately, Dawn takes a break from pulling on the rope to let Cassidy know about the surprise dinner.

(For the record, Billy and Ms. Noble win the tug-of-war and the title of best couple.  I’m not sure what pulling on a rope has to do with being the best couple but whatever.  It’s a dumb plot anyway.)

Cassidy meets Chris on the beach and they forgive each other.  And season 4 ends.  Yay!

The first half of season 4 was fairly weak but the show kind of improved once Chris got his hair cut.  Certainly, City Guys was not the best of Peter Engel-produced NBC shows but it wasn’t One World either.  The biggest flaws remains the unrealistic depiction of Ms. Noble.  The show’s biggest strength, at the end of season 4, is that the actors have finally stopped looking straight at the camera while delivering their lines.

Next week, we begin the final season of City Guys.

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing City Guys, which ran on NBC from 1997 to 2001.  The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

This week, Cassidy develops a crush on Chris while Jamal deals with a gambling problem!  Didn’t we already do all of this?

Episode 4.22 “Dating Games”

(Dir by Frank Bonner, originally aired on December 9th, 2000)

It’s time for the Valentine’s Day dance!  Why did the Valentine’s Day episode air in December?

Cassidy is upset because she doesn’t have a boyfriend.  Dawn asks Cassidy why she doesn’t just hook up with Chris since they do things together all the time and Chris is totally in love with her.  In fact …. hey, remember last week when everyone got drunk and Cassidy announced on national television that she liked Chris?  I guess Cassidy doesn’t because she tells Dawn that she and Chris are just good friends.  “I need a boyfriend!” Cassidy announces.  Dawn tells Cassidy that she’s too much into image and what other people will think.  Cassidy doesn’t hear her because she’s too busy checking out Jordan, the hottest guy at the school.  Dawn says that Jordan only dates girls who are on the rebound so Cassidy decides that she needs to pretend to date someone and fake break up with them so that she can go out with the guy she really likes.

Paging Chris!

After pretending to date Chris and then staging their breakup, Cassidy hooks up with Jordan and Chris hooks up with a girl named Linda.  However, Cassidy realizes that she actually likes Chris more than Jordan so she breaks up with Jordan.  At the dance, Dawn tells Chris that Cassidy likes him so Chris heads over to Cassidy’s penthouse and finally — FINALLY! — the two of them declare their love for each other.  Awwwwww!

Despite a silly B-plot involving Ms. Noble teaching a meditation class and an A-plot that involved everyone being kind of stupid, this was actually a pretty good episode by City Guys standards.  Maybe I’m just a sucker for romance.  Chris and Cassidy are a cute couple.

Episode 4.23 “Wager Money Go”

(Dir by Frank Bonner, originally aired on December 9th, 2000)

“Yo, Jamal,” Al says, “this gambling is making you whack!”

And indeed it is!  Jamal has developed a gambling problem.  He’s spending all of his time at a “backroom gambling joint,” where he plays craps while a local gangster watches.  Jamal swears to everyone that he has a system and he can’t lose.  However, he spends almost the entire episode losing.  It’s amazing that Jamal got addicted that quickly without actually being any good at the thing to which he got addicted.  After his friends get tired of him borrowing money from them, he steals it from the register at work.  Unfortunately, L-Train has just started working at the diner and he gets blamed for the missing money.  L-Train is out of a job and Jamal loses all of his friends.  Fortunately, Jamal comes clean, learns an important lesson, and that’s that.

While this is going on, Cassidy and Dawn make a documentary about Ms. Noble.  It turns out that Ms. Noble is kind of boring so Dawn and Cassidy try to create a crisis so they can get Ms. Noble doing something exciting on film.  There is a funny moment in which Ms. Noble refers to her husband as being “Bobby” before quickly correcting herself as saying, “I mean, Billy.”  I’m going to guess this was unscripted.  By the time this episode was shot, not even the cast could be bothered to remember the name of Ms. Noble’s husband.  Otherwise, this was yet another B-plot that revolved around how creepily obsesses all of the students were with Ms. Noble.

This was another one of those episodes where a well-established character, Jamail in this case, was required to start acting in a way that was totally out-of-character just so an important lesson could be learned.  It wasn’t terrible but it wasn’t particularly memorable either.  Do gambling joints, even illegal ones, regularly allow high school students in to play craps?  That would seem like more trouble than its worth.

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing City Guys, which ran on NBC from 1997 to 2001.  Nearly the entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

This week, everyone has too much to drink and Ms. Noble tries to win a contest!

Episode 4.20 “Unhappy Hour”

(Dir by Frank Bonner, originally aired on December 2nd, 2000)

Ms. Noble’s best friend, Kiki, hosts her town talk show because of course she does.  (How does a high school principal have all of these connections?)  Kiki wants to do a show featuring the students of Manny High discussing the importance of friendship.  To be honest, that sounds like the most boring show in the world but whatever.  Chris, Jamal, Dawn, Cassidy, Al, and L-Train all agree to be on it.

Cassidy’s parents are out of town so everyone ends up at her penthouse to discuss what they’re going to say on the show.  But before the discussion even begins, Al has brought over four pizzas and L-Train has discovered a bottle of Tequila!  Before you know it, everyone’s drunk.  (Apparently, no one learned a lesson from any of the other episodes of this show that featured everyone getting drunk and suffering as a result.)  Al and L-Train throws eggs off the balcony.  Chris tries to work up the courage to tell Cassidy how he feels about her, which is interesting since Chris and Cassidy dated during the second season so it’s not as if Cassidy doesn’t know that Chris has feelings for her.  Cassidy is so drunk that she kisses Jamal instead.  Chris gets mad and kiss Dawn.  Al gets mad and has no one to kiss.  Meanwhile, L-Train calls Ms. Noble at school and tells her that he loves her.

Big mistake.

Ms. Noble and her husband, Billy, break into Cassidy’s penthouse and yell at the students for drinking too much.  Apparently, it’s not bad enough that Ms. Noble’s entire life revolves around spying on her students.  Now, Billy has had to sacrifice his freedom as well.  The next morning, the kids are hungover and angry but they still have to go on Kiki’s show.

“Why did you drink so much?” Kiki asks.

Dawn confesses that they were all stupid and now they’re all suffering from the worst hangover ever while appearing on live television.  Chris apologizes for kissing Dawn.  Cassidy confessed to like Chris.  Al says that he can’t forgive Chris for kissing his girlfriend.  “How could you do such a stupid thing!?”  Jamal suddenly gets angry and says that Al was just as stupid for throwing eggs off the balcony.  Personally, I kind of think that kissing your best friend’s significant other is considerably worse than tossing eggs off of a balcony but maybe that’s just me.

“I guess you guys realize that drinking isn’t all it was made out to be,” Kiki says.

“Don’t let one drunken night ruin your friendships,” Ms. Noble says, as if this doesn’t happen at least once every season.

Actually, if they didn’t realize it after all the other episodes this show has done about drinking and doing drugs, they’re never going to realize it.  Face it, the City Guys are doomed!

Episode 4.21 “Compromising Principal”

(Dir by Frank Bonner, originally aired on December 9th, 2000)

This is what happens, according to plot description at Wikipedia: “When Ms. Noble decides to loosen up and be more cool in order to win a most popular principal contest, the school turns into an undisciplined zoo. In the midst of the chaos, the gang try their hand at after school elective classes.”

Wow, sounds exciting!  Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately), this is one of the missing episodes of City Guys.  As far as I can tell, it’s not streaming anywhere as of this writing.  So, let’s just assume that everyone learned an important lesson and that the students once again spent way too much time worrying about their principal.

Seriously, a most popular principal contest?