Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984.  Unfortunately, the show has been removed from most streaming sites.  Fortunately, I’ve got nearly every episode on my DVR.

“Smiles, everyone …. SMILES, DAMMIT!”

Episode 7.11 “Games People Play/The Sweet Life”

(Dir by Cliff Bole and Don Weiss, originally aired on January 14th, 1984)

Three women who all work for a toy company come to Fantasy Island.  Nora Leonard (Lynda Day George) has closed off her heart after getting hurt in too many past relationships.  Barbara Jessup (Jenilee Harrison) wants her boss to look past her appearance and realize that she really does have a brain to go with her beauty.  Sandy Hoffman (Berlinda Tolbert) wants to have the courage to present her ideas….

Oh hey, it’s a Wizard of Oz thing!  Except it’s not.  There’s no Dorothy and there’s no Toto.  There’s a corporate spy named Steven Curry (John McCook), who wants the details of the company’s new video game and who also falls for Nora.  And there’s Dick York as Mr. Sutton, who wears a bowtie as all toy company execs do.

What there is not is an interesting fantasy.  Even with three separate fantasies in one, this storyline was pretty blah.  Everyone seemed a bit bored, even the usually dependable Lynda Day George.

The other fantasy was slightly more interesting, but only because it featured the great character actor Kevin McCarthy as Daniel Koster.  Daniel wanted to give his wife and his children the lifestyle they could have had if Daniel had been rich.  In fact, Daniel sent his family to Fantasy Island ahead of him so that they could enjoy being rich without him around.  (What?)  I was always under the impression that guests at the Island only stayed for a weekend.  Daniel comes to the Island and discovers that his family appears to be very happy, even if his son is still writing bad poetry.  (There’s no money in poetry, Daniel gruffly explains and, as a poet, I can say that’s very true.)  Along with his son’s rhyming habits, Daniel has other things to deal with, like his bad heart.

In fact, Daniel dies of a heart attack while on the Island but not before realizing that his family always loved him, even if they weren’t rich.  Having Daniel die was depressing.  What made it even worse is that Roarke apparently knew Daniel was probably going to die on the Island but he didn’t really seem to do anything to try to prevent it from happening.  Instead, he just made a bunch of cryptic comments to Lawrence about how Daniel’s weekend on Fantasy Island could be his last.  Lawrence looked concerned but didn’t do anything to help.  Why is Lawrence even there?

Eh, this episode.  I always enjoy watching Kevin McCarthy and he gives a typically solid performance but otherwise, this was a disappointing trip to the Island.