Confessions of a Romance Narrator introduces us to Jasalyn (played by the film’s director, April Grace Lowe).
Jasalyn is a romance audio book narrator, spending her time in her closet with a microphone and reading aloud the chapters of books that depict the type of romances that everyone dreams about but rarely experiences. Jasalyn works hard, trying to make sure that each narration is perfect. She comes up with a different voice for each character. She video chats with her acting coach and, together, they practice the perfect “O” sound while her new upstairs neighbor listens with his pressed to the floor. Jasalyn pines for a co-worker, an egotistical narrator named Richard (Cody Roberts) who doesn’t feel the need to do individual voices for each character because he has …. THE VOICE! And you know what? From the minute that Richard first appeared, I knew he wasn’t good enough for Jasalyn but I probably would have fallen for him too because damn, that man has a sexy voice.
The film’s a comedy so it’s not a surprise that things rarely seem to go Jasalyn’s way. An attempt to leave a flirty message for Richard leads to an author thinking that Jasalyn isn’t professional enough to narrate her book. (Richard, of course, didn’t listen to the message.) Her attempts to look perfect for a facetime call with Richard only leads to Richard calling her back while she’s in the middle of eating a chocolate cake. Her upstairs neighbor (Craig Jessen) is a bit noisy and plays the ukulele. Convinced that Jasalyn is a sex worker, he’s thrilled when she comes up to his apartment to complain about the noise. From the minute we see Jasalyn opening and closing her closet as she attempts to meet an all-important deadline, we know that there’s no way this movie is going to end without featuring her somehow getting trapped in the closet while only wearing a towel. And the movie doesn’t let us down. It’s a lot to happen to one person but, by the end of the movie, you’re convinced that it is something that could all happen to Jasalyn. We’ve all had a friend like Jasalyn. A lot of us have been her at some point in our lives.
Confessions of a Romance Narrator is a breezy and likable 78 minute film, one that examines the life of a romance narrator and includes enough small details that you’re left with no doubt that the film knows what it’s talking about. There are two types of romance narrators, the film tells us in voice-over, those who stand and those who sit. Jasalyn stands but her mom thinks that she sits and sends her a hemorrhoid pillow for her birthday. And, from the minute we see it arrive, we know her loud neighbor is going to be the one to grab it and take it up to her apartment. It’s a bit predictable but it’s cute, much like the film itself. April Grace Lowe gives a likable performance as Jasalyn. The film is, I believe, edited together from a series of 10-minute short films that Lowe made about the character. It’s a likable movie. Much like a good romance novel, it’s fun, quick, and satisfying.
