With Arleigh away in Boston, I originally thought that this weekend would present the perfect opportunity to turn Through The Shattered Lens into the web’s premier site for Twilight fan fiction and soulful Edward Cullen gifs.  I was even planning on writing a post about how, by simply using time travel as a plot device, one could do a massive Twilight-Divergent-Hunger Games crossover.  (Essentially, Katniss and Tris would work together to raise Bella’s self-esteem but there was a lot more to it than just that….)

It was going to be glorious but then I got distracted by a 1953 film called Cat-Women of The Moon.  

Cat-Women of the Moon attempts to imagine what will happen when mankind finally attempts to launch an expedition to the moon.  According to this film, it will involve four men and one woman sitting around on a rocket and trading sexist quips.

Among our crew:

Laird Grainger (Sonny Tufts) is the philosophical but tough captain who talks about the eternal mysteries of the stars.

Helen Salinger (Marie Windsor) is the ship’s navigator.  She also happens to be — GASP! — a female.  When asked why she should be allowed to step foot on the moon with the men, she replies, “Somebody needs to cook your meals!”  Because, you know, it’s 1953…

Then there’s Walter Walters (Douglas Fowley) who is secretly New Mexico’s biggest supplier of meth.  Oh wait — sorry, wrong Walter.  Walter Walters is just some guy with a mustache who won’t stop talking about how he’s going to use the moon to get rich.

And then there’s Kip (Victor Jory) and Doug (Bill Phipps), two all-American boys who deal with their problems by first considering their options and then shooting anyone who happens to be standing in their way.

Anyway, once the rocket finally does reach the moon, our intrepid crew discovers that not only does the moon have an atmosphere but it’s inhabited by both a giant spider (which looks a bit like an ill-conceived piñata whenever it dangles over the heads of our astronauts) and the Cat-Women of the Moon (played, the opening credits tell us, by “THE HOLLYWOOD COVER GIRLS”).

Now, if you’re like me, you probably saw the film’s title and then assumed that the film would be about women who were half feline.  You would be wrong.  Despite the film’s title, the Cat-Women don’t have much to do with actual cats.  Instead, they’re the last 8 members of an ancient race.  They all wear black leotards and, when Doug asks where their “menfolk” are, they reply that they have no need of men.

Oh, and get this — they spend all of their spare time dancing!

Seriously,whether they’re actually descended from cats or not,  the Cat-Women rock!  If I ever manage to trick Richard Branson into sending me to the moon, I’m joining up with the Cat Women!  Sorry, Earth men, y’all were fun and all but I’m a cat woman at heart…

Except, according to this film, the Cat Women might not be on the moon anymore.  Apparently, the moon’s atmosphere was evaporating and the Cat Women needed to steal the rocket so they could go to Earth and, as their leader puts it, convince all the women on Earth to rise up and destroy all the men.

Seriously, I was totally on her side.  Solidarity, sisters!

So, what do you think happened?  Did the Cat Women’s plot succeed or did our brave crew somehow manage to save the patriarchy?

You’ll have to watch to find out.  The film is only an hour and 8 minutes long and, if you’re like me and you enjoy watching movies that are so bad that they’re good, you’ll find a lot to enjoy in Cat-Women Of The Moon!