December 28, 2013 20:53
Last night, my sister Megan and I watched the classic 1990 Saved By The Bell caffeine pill episode, Jessie’s Song.
Why Were We Watching It?
I was visiting Megan and her family for the holidays, she has every episode of Saved By The Bell on DVD — seriously, how could we not end up watching it?
What Was It About?
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times and things at Bayside High were pretty messed up. Self-declared genius Jessie Spano (Elizabeth Berkley) was failing Geometry so she started taking caffeine pills. Then, her sociopathic friend Zack (Mark-Paul Gosselaar) decided that Jessie should also launch a musical career as a member of the disturbingly generic girl group Hot Sundae. And who can blame him with all of this talent of display?
And so, Jessie started taking more and more pills. And then, this happened…
Fear not! Jessie recovered from her drug addiction in time to be featured in Johnny Dakota’s No Hope With Dope ad campaign.
What Worked?
Jessie’s Song is like The Room of Saved By The Bell episodes, 22 minutes of television that is just so wrong and oddly executed that it becomes oddly fascinating. For that reason, it’s impossible to judge this episode by standard definitions of quality.
The idea that Kelly, Lisa, and Jessie (a.k.a. Hot Sundae) could get a recording contract, the fact that Jessie ends up getting hooked on the equivalent of can of Red Bull, the fantasy sequence where Jessie imagines having to go to Surf U. because she failed Geometry, the fact that a few pills transform Jessie overnight, and the overly optimistic ending; none of it works. And, for that reason, the entire episode works.
Consider this — before I had even seen this episode, I knew that Jessie Spano ended up getting hooked on caffeine pills and singing, “I’m so excited! I’m so excited! I’m so …. SCARED!” For better or worse, this episode is a part of our culture.
On a personal note, I loved the extremely earnest way Mario Lopez delivered the line, “Hold on, Jessie — it says right here that these may be habit-forming…”
What Did Not Work?
As Megan pointed out to me, there’s a huge continuity error in this episode. Back in the glee club episode, it had been established that Kelly couldn’t sing. Now, suddenly, she’s on the verge of getting a recording contract. Was there no such thing as a consistency at Bayside? No wonder Jessie ended up addicted to drugs.
“Oh my God! Just like me!” Moments
Much like Jessie Spano, I have a tendency to push myself. Whereas Jessie pushed herself to attend an Ivy League college and to try to destroy the patriarchy, I push myself to post a certain amount of film reviews each month.
For instance, earlier this year, I decided that I would post at least 120 reviews in October. And so, much like Jessie, I pushed myself and pushed myself and, when I felt like I couldn’t go on, I took every pill that I had in the medicine cabinet and then I danced around my bedroom going, “I’m so excited! I’m so excited! I’m so … scared!”
And some people though that was silly on my part but you know what? This October, the TSL posted 137 new reviews so, obviously, I was doing something right. And I’ve already decided that next year, we’re going to break all previous records. That’s right — 200 posts in October of 2014! You read it here first.
And, to think, I owe it all to caffeine.
Lessons Learned
There’s no hope with dope! Wait … no, actually, that was a different episode. In this one, I guess I learned not to abuse caffeine but I really didn’t learn that because I’ve seen this episode a few dozen times and I’m still addicted to caffeine and, for that matter, I’m still pushing myself and having trouble accepting that I can’t always be the best at everything so maybe I didn’t learn anything from this episode…
Oh wait! I did learn something. Geometry leads to drug addiction and causes you to let all of your friends down.
Seriously, geometry sucks.
(For another look at drug abuse in the 1990s, please be sure to check out my review of the California Dreams steroid episode, Tiffani’s Gold.)
Posted by Lisa Marie Bowman
Categories: TV, TV Review, TV Show
Tags: Dennis Haskins, Don Barnhart, Dustin Diamond, Elizabeth Berkley, Jessie's Song, Lark Voorhees, Lisa Marie Bowman, Mario Lopez, Mark-Paul Gosselaar, Megan Corley, Saved By The Bell, Tiffani Amber Thiessen
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It eventually leads to stripping for Kyle Mclachlan in Vegas as well, apparently..
I think you need an intervention, young lady
😉
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By doczeke on December 28, 2013 at 21:43
I still remember this from back in the day. “Saved By The Bell” played at four o’clock on weekday afternoons. You look at a show like “Diff’rent Strokes”, they always tackled very serious issues. Then came along “Saved By The Bell” with…caffeine pills.
All that was missing from this scene was a laugh track.
Seriously, The Pointer Sisters deserve better than this. So for the benefit of all you whippersnappers too young to recall, here are Ruth, Anita and June, NOT Hot Sundae, performing the real thing:
By the way, I caught The Pointer Sisters a couple of years ago on their tour down under. I was so excited, but fortunately, one of the Sisters took hold of my hand, so I wasn’t so scared.
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By Mark V on December 29, 2013 at 03:05
[…] Saved By The Bell — The Jessie’s Song episode! […]
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By Lisa’s Week In Review: 6/18/18 — 6/24/18 | Through the Shattered Lens on June 24, 2018 at 21:01
[…] Yes, you are correct. This is indeed the same basic plot as the I’m So Excited! episode of Saved By The Bell. Cassidy says that she needs the pills because she’s both starring in a play and going to […]
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[…] brings to mind Jessie Spano shouting, “I’m so excited!” during that episode of Saved By The Bell. (Blair was far better served by B-movies like Savage Streets, in which she got to kick ass as a […]
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By Retro Television Reviews: Sarah T — Portrait of a Teenage Alcoholic (dir by Richard Donner) | Through the Shattered Lens on November 27, 2022 at 14:30
[…] somehow got off drugs with a minimum amount of difficulty. The most famous of these episode was the infamous episode of Saved By The Bell, where Jessie got hooked on caffeine pills and sang, “I’m so […]
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By Retro Television Reviews: California Dreams 3.16 “The Treasure of PCH” and 3.17 “Tiffani’s Gold” | Through the Shattered Lens on February 11, 2023 at 14:30
[…] Yikes! It sounds like Scott is hooked on drugs and, since this is a Peter Engel-produced sitcom, I think it’s safe to assume that Scott is not going to qualify for the Olympics. Using drugs on any Peter Engel sitcom means that you surrender whatever you current dream may be. We all remember what happened to Tiffani on California Dreams and Jessie on Saved By The Bell. […]
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