Hi, everyone! It’s Super Bowl Sunday and that means that, to the best of our ability, TSL will be posting all of the film and television teasers that are aired during the big game!
Fortunately, some of them have already been released on YouTube. Here’s the 31-second spot for Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves! Chris Pine certainly seems to be having fun.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Sundays, I will be reviewing the made-for-television movies that used to be a primetime mainstay. Today’s film is 1972’s Haunt of the Very Rich! It can be viewed on YouTube!
The 1972 made-for-TV movie Haunts of the Very Rich opens with a lengthy shot of Lyle (Tony Bill) and Laurie (Donna Mills) sharing a very long kiss. Obviously, they’re very happy and why shouldn’t they be? They’re young. They’re beautiful. They’re in love. They’re newly married. And …. they’re on an airplane!
It’s a private plane, one that’s heading towards a resort called The Portals of Eden. There’s only a few other people on the plane. David Woodrough (Lloyd Bridges) is a businessman who is looking forward to spend some time away from his wife, especially if it means a chance to get to know one of the other passengers, Ellen Blunt (Cloris Leachman). Annette Larner (Anne Francis) is also traveling alone and is hoping she might finally be able to get some sleep without having to take a handful of pills beforehand. Rev. Fellows (Robert Reed) appears to have lost his faith. And then there’s Al Hunsicker (Ed Asner). Hunsicker’s a little bit confused about how he ended up on the airplane. As far as he knows, he’s supposed to be on his way to a business meeting in Dallas. Portals of Eden? Al’s never heard of the place! Of course, nobody on the plane really seems to be sure where they’re going or how they even got on the plane in the first place. Strangely, Al appears to be the only one who finds any of this to be strange.
When the plane lands, they discover that the Portals of Eden is a large hotel sitting at the edge of a tropical wilderness. Their host, the always polite Mr. Seacrist (Moses Gunn), welcomes them but avoids answering anyone’s questions. Seacrist tells them to enjoy their stay.
For the first day, that’s exactly what everyone does. They relax. They indulge in a little pampering. David gets to know Ellen. Al is still worried about getting to his business meeting but he is assured that he can always fly out to Dallas the following day.
The night, a violent storm hits. The next day, everyone wakes up to discover that the resort is nearly deserted. There’s no electricity. There’s no way to call out. There’s not much food. Seacrist tells them not to worry. He assures them that help is on the way. As the guests wait to be rescued, they finally start to wonder just how exactly the ended up at the resort in the first place. They realize that they’ve almost all had a recent brush with death. David swears to Ellen that he’ll file for divorce as soon as they get back home but what if they don’t have a home to which to return? Occasionally, the guests hear a plane flying overhead. At one point, they even see one land. But every time, just when it seems like they’re on the verge of finally being rescued, the plane vanishes.
And things just get stranger from there.
If Jean-Paul Sartre had ended up in the United States, writing for The Bold and the Beautiful, the end result would probably look a lot like Haunts of the Very Rich. Considering that this is a made-for-TV movie from the early 70s, Haunts of the Very Rich is a surprisingly effective and atmospheric little horror film. The story itself won’t exactly win any points for originality. You’ll guess the secret of Portals of Eden long before any of the characters in the film. But still, it’s a well-directed and nicely acted film, one that’s topped off with a suitably surreal (if somewhat abrupt) finale.
Haunts of the Very Rich can currently be found on YouTube and I recommend it for anyone who likes their melodrama served with a side of existential dread.
This video was shot early in Katy Perry’s career, as you can probably guess just from the basic and rather simple style of the music video. Long Shot was originally intended to appear on what was intended to be Perry’s second album. Unfortunately, that album was shelved but Long Shot still found an audience when it was covered by Kelly Clarkson.
It is today’s music video of the day because it’s Super Bowl Sunday and, as always, I’m rooting for the long shots, whoever they may be.
Enjoy!
I had a cold for most of this week. Actually, I still do. Somehow, this did not lead to me watching more TV than usual.
Here’s some thoughts on what I did watch this week!
Abbott Elementary (Wednesday Night, ABC)
It’s Valentine’s Day and we all totally know that Janine and Gregory totally belong together. The show wasn’t particularly subtle about it as Maurice gave Janine an empty bag while Gregory’s girlfriend was downright rude about Gregory’s present! While this was going on, Ava was discovering the joy of learning and Jacob was teaching black history. All in all, it was a good episode. I always worry that Abbott Elementary is going to be overshadowed by the whole Office-style mockumentary format but the show has definitely established its own identity.
The Bachelor (Monday Night, ABC)
Good Lord, Zach is boring. I think that’s going to be my review of every episode this season.
The Brady Bunch Hour (YouTube)
I wrote about The Brady Bunch Hour here!
California Dreams (YouTube)
I wrote about California Dreams here!
Fantasy Island (Tubi)
I wrote about Fantasy Island here!
Future Quest (Nightflight Plus)
Future Quest was a show that aired on PBS in 1994. Hosted by Jeff Goldblum, it took a look at the “future.” I watched the first episode on Saturday morning with Jeff and our friend Pat McCurry. It was full of people talking about what they expected the 21st Century would be like and amazingly, they weren’t that far off. Quite a few of them predicted that we would eventually end up watching movies on our phone, for instance. Only one person said that email’s popularity would fade and people would go back to hand-written letters. Sadly, an even larger group of people thought that the future would usher in an era of peace as we moved away from geographic conflicts, political unrest, and terrorism. With the benefit of hindsight, it was interesting to see what people got right and what people got wrong. And, of course, Jeff Goldblum was totally charming.
Hang Time (YouTube)
Hell’s Kitchen (Thursday Night, FOX)
I was not at all surprised when Alex won this season, as he was clearly not only the best chef but the best leader as well. Still, it was very emotionally satisfying to see him walk through that door. Alex was one of the many business owners to have their lives upended by the COVID lockdowns. From the minute this latest season began, he just seemed destined to win. It just felt right,
The Love Boat (Paramount+)
I wrote about The Love Boat here!
Night Flight (NightFlight Plus)
I watched two episodes of this old entertainment digest on Friday night. Both of the episodes were from 1990. The first one was a profile of the band, The Art of Noise, which I liked quite a bit. The second was a look at some films that were coming out that weekend. None of the films looked particularly memorable.
South Park (Comedy Central)
South Park is back. Cupid Ye not only satirized Kanye West but it also showed why his rantings are so dangerous. At a time when so many people are still treating Kanye West like he’s just some sort of kooky eccentric as opposed to someone using his huge platform to spread destructive conspiracies, South Park has more guts than almost every other show on television combined.
Stolen Youth (Hulu)
I watched this creepy documentary on Saturday morning. A middle-aged man named Larry Ray stayed with his daughter at Sarah Lawrence College and started a sex cult! The documentary featured interviews with some of the students who fell under his malevolent sway. As opposed to the unlikable people in The Vow, the interviewees in Stolen Youth were all sympathetic victims who were preyed upon by someone who knew how to take advantage of their naivety.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing California Dreams, which ran on NBC from 1992 to 1996. The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!
Season 3 comes to an end!
Episode 3.16 “The Treasure of PCH”
(dir by Patrick Maloney, originally aired on December 31st, 1994)
The Dreams have turned into a reggae band!
At least, that’s the impression that one gets from the opening of The Treasure of PCH, which finds the Dreams performing on a pier at night as a part of the On The Pier Presents festival. The song’s beat has a reggae feel and it actually sounds pretty nice until the very white Mark starts to sing with what I think is meant to be a slight attempt at a Jamaican accent about how someday “you might need a friend when you least expect it.” Watching and, in some cases, re-watching these shows, I now realize that, musically, the Dreams actually had a pretty good sound but they were always tripped up by their simplistic lyrics. “Anytime you need me, I’ll be there….” I mean, if you want to sound like David Hasselhoff, that’s fine but it’s still a bit odd to watch the pier crowd act as if these lyrics couldn’t have been written by a computer program. In fact, maybe they were. Was AI around in 1994?
Anyway, the Dreams are totally excited because the Concert on the Pier promoter pays them a thousand dollars. “We’ve never gotten that much before!” Sam says but actually, I remember them getting paid that much during both the first and the second seasons. Lorena is worried that the Dreams are getting greedy, which is an easy thing to worry about when you’re already rich and have nice hair. Jake says that the money won’t change the Dreams. Lorena and Jake decide to test that idea by convincing the Dreams that there’s a fortune hidden at Sharky’s!
Fortunately, it only takes one forged letter to trick the Dreams. (As a group, the Dreams appear to have lost several IQ points when Matt Garrison moved away.) At first, everyone works together but soon, the Dreams are getting paranoid and vindictive. Lorena was right. Yay! Take that, Jake! However, Jake and Lorena don’t give their plan enough thought and the Dreams — as stupid as they’ve become — still eventually figure out that it doesn’t make any sense that an eccentric oldster would have hidden his fortune at Sharky’s. So, they turn the tables and convince Jake and Lorena that there’s a bunch of diamonds hidden at …. Sharky’s. Is there no other place to eat in California?
“DIAMONDS!” Jake yells, in a rare moment of the normally laid back Jay Anthony Franke overacting.
This was a dumb episode but it was also oddly likable. Sly running around and thinking to himself, “Gotta find the money …. gotta find the money….” made me laugh. For that matter, so did Tony literally picking up Tiffani when she tried to run off with one of the clues. The cast had enough chemistry that they were even able to pull off the show’s dumbest jokes. Of course, the best thing about this episode is that my favorite character, Lorena, was proven to be correct. Go Lorena!
Episode 3.17 “Tiffani’s Gold”
(dir by, originally aired on January 7th, 1995)
Every Peter Engel-produced sitcom had to have at least one episode where the least likely character got hooked on drugs, had a public meltdown, and then somehow got off drugs with a minimum amount of difficulty. The most famous of these episode was the infamous episode of Saved By The Bell, where Jessie got hooked on caffeine pills and sang, “I’m so excited!”
When it came time for California Dreams to deal with drug addiction, the end result was Tiffani’s Gold. In this episode, Tiffani is suddenly a star volleyball player who has a chance to make the national team and bring home a gold medal. Tiffani, who up until this point has been portrayed as a mellow hippie, is suddenly determined to win and the Dreams want her to win as well. Unfortunately, Tiffani is struggling to keep up with the other girls trying out for the team. So, she convinces Sly to help her get some …. dramatic music cue …. steroids!
You know what this means. Tiffani makes the team but she also starts to have mood swings and violent outbursts. Eventually, she makes a scene at Sharky’s and realizes that she has to stop taking drugs. What makes this standard anti-drug episode memorable is just how unconvincing Kelly Packard is as a drug addict. Don’t get me wrong. She tries really, really hard to capture Tiffani’s anger and moodiness. In fact, she tries too hard. Scenes like the one in which Tiffani throws Sly against a locker are meant to be shocking but they actually inspire more laughs than gasps because Kelly Packard doesn’t come across as if she’s ever lost her temper before. One gets the feeling that she was such a positive person that she didn’t even know how to fake anger.
As for the B-plot, Sly, Tony, and Mark compete to see who is the “bigger stud.” Despite not being in contest, Jake is declared the winner. Despite the fact that Jake and Lorena were supposed to be a couple, Jake is seen dating several other girls in this episode and Lorena doesn’t seem to care in the least. Considering that Sly is wearing the exact same outfit that he wore in the first episode of season 3, I’m going to guess Tiffani’s Gold was filmed and meant to air much earlier in the season but, for whatever reason, it was held back until the very end.
(Incidentally, Christy — who rejects both Tony and Sly before going off with Jake — was played by a young Fergie.)
This rather campy episode was the final one of season 3. Next week, we start season 4!
As some of our regular readers undoubtedly know, I am involved in a few weekly live tweets on twitter. I host #FridayNightFlix every Friday, I co-host #ScarySocial on Saturday, and I am one of the five hosts of #MondayActionMovie! Every week, we get together. We watch a movie. We tweet our way through it.
Tonight, for #ScarySocial, Tim Buntley will be hosting 2022’s Torn Hearts!
If you want to join us on Saturday night, just hop onto twitter, start the film at 9 pm et, and use the #ScarySocial hashtag! The film is available on Prime. I’ll probably be there and I imagine some other members of the TSL Crew will be there as well. It’s a friendly group and welcoming of newcomers so don’t be shy.
Today’s music video of the day comes to us from Italy.
Enjoy!
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing The Brady Bunch Hour, which ran on ABC from 1976 to 1977. All nine episodes can be found on YouTube!
Ugh. What fresh Hell is this?
Episode 1.4
(Dir by Jack Regas, Originally aired on March 4th, 1977)
“It’s the Brady Bunch Hour!” the announcer shouts as the Kroftettes dance at the pool.
As opposed to the previous three episodes, the audience’s applause sounds a bit deflated, as if they know what’s waiting for them.
The Bradys come out and perform (Keep Your) Sunny Side Up, from the hit 1929 musical Sunny Side Up. If you’ve never heard of this song before, don’t worry. Up until I watched this episode, I had never heard it either. And judging from their performance of the song, I would be willing to guess that Bradys hadn’t heard it until maybe an hour before performing it.
While the Bradys sing, the Kroftettes perform water ballet. For some reason, someone decided it would be a good idea to film the Kroftettes emerging from the water in slow motion, which kind of makes it look like they’re sea beasts emerging from the ocean to kill the Bradys. Not that the Bradys notice, of course. They’re too busy trying to remember the lyrics to Keep The Sunny Side Up. Trying to keep up the family’s flagging energy, Florence Henderson sings with a lot of intensity. The kids look embarrassed and who can blame them? I doubt singing a song from 1929 was one of the selling points when the Kroft Brothers approached them to do this show. As Mike Brady, Robert Reed has a silly grin on his face. He’s obviously having the time of his life. When the song finally ends, Reed is noticeably out of breath. For whatever reason, The Brady Bunch Hour loved to show the audience the Bradys struggling to catch their breath after every performance. I guess we were supposed to say, “They worked really hard!” but instead, it leaves the impression that the show is actually killing its cast.
Anyway, the song finally ends and we spend some time with the kids bantering. Greg is noticeably upset about his siblings being so immature. An argument breaks out. Carol yells at everyone to hold it down. It’s like being forced to watch someone else’s terrible Thanksgiving dinner. Carol and Mike announce the guests for the show are going to be Vincent Price and Rip Taylor. Greg gets mad because he wanted to introduce the guests. IT NEVER ENDS!
Finally, we go to commercial break. When the show returns, The Brady Bunch is singing It’s Not Where You Start from the 1973 Broadway musical, Seesaw. Again, you have to wonder if this was really the music that everyone was listening to in 1977. I mean, this was the same year that Saturday Night Fever came out. This was the year of Star Wars. I just doubt there was a nationwide demand for a show featuring Robert Reed singing Broadway show tunes. Again, this performance ends with close-ups of Robert Reed and Florence Henderson gasping for breath. Obviously, performing requires a lot of physical exertion but Reed gasps like he’s got a pack-a-day smoking habit. Carol explains that they just sang this song because it reflected an experience that they had with Greg earlier in the week. What a weird way to introduce a flashback.
We cut to the Brady compound, where Greg is in the living room, attempting to write a song, strumming his guitar, and getting annoyed with the family. In Greg’s defense, his family is loud and annoying but, at the same time, is there no other room in the house where Greg could have worked. Anyway, Greg announces that he’s going to have to get his own place. Seeing as how Greg is in his 20s …. well, yes, he does. There’s really no reason why Greg (and for that matter, Marcia) should still be living in the Brady House and having to ask his stepmother for permission to stay out late.
Anyway, Mike and Carol attempt to have a serious conversation with Greg about his desire to move out so, of course, Rip Taylor shows up as Jackie Merrill, the landlord. It turns out that Jackie has a place that Greg can rent. “It’s funky but not junky!” Jackie announces. Mike orders Jackie to leave. “I see Papa Bear is cranky!” Jackie replies. “Dad,” Greg announces, “I love you …. but I’m not your BOY anymore!”
DAMN! LOOK AT GREG STANDING UP TO HIMSELF!
We then cut to Marcia Brady, saying that everyone at the Brady House was really sad about Greg wanting to leave. And then from there, we cut to Jackie showing Greg his new apartment.
Someone knocks on the door and demands to be let in. And …. hey! WHAT’S VINCENT PRICE DOING HERE!?
Vincent asks Jackie and Greg if they’re dead. When he discover that they’re alive, Vincent explains that he’s a ghost hunter and Greg’s apartment is haunted by “Stella Beaumont, among others.” Vincent explains that Greg looks a lot like Stella’s great grandson, Dinky, who died when he fell off of Greg’s new couch. Vincent Price has a lot of fun hamming it up but you probably already guessed that.
While Greg worries about ghosts, his family sits around the house and worries about him. Greg calls Carol so that he can give the family his new phone number. Carol starts to cry. “Say hello to everyone for me,” Greg says. Uhmm …. did Greg move to another country? Aren’t they all in Hollywood and still doing a variety show together? Why are they acting like they’re never going to see him again? Did Vincent Price talk to them?
Anyway, we then cut to Carol singing Traces while Greg sings All By Myself. As usual, Florence Henderson knocks the song out of the park. Barry Williams, however, struggles a bit as All By Myself is a terrible fit for his rather limited vocal range. Don’t get me wrong. Barry Williams has a perfectly pleasant singing voice but when he tries to hit those emotional high notes, it’s just cringe city.
Mike Brady welcomes us to “the second half of the Brady Bunch hour …. minus one.” Mike doesn’t seem to be too upset about Greg moving out. It’s interesting that Greg’s stepmother seems to be more emotionally invested in him than his own father.
We then cut to Carol and Greg in their living room, talking about how all of their children will have soon moved out. Carol is upset that Greg is not answering the phone at his new apartment. Mike tells her that it’s good that Greg is out and having fun. Suddenly, Greg rings the doorbell and says that he was just in the neighborhood. Greg then confesses that he owes Carol and Mike an apology for moving out without telling them and he also explains that he hates his new apartment. Greg says that he wants to come back and live in his old house. I guess Mr. Merrill forgot to have him sign a lease.
We cut to Peter saying that we’ve reached the part of the show where Greg always pushes him into the pool. But this week, Peter says, he’s going to do the pushing. Peter sneaks up on Greg but, just as Peter is about give him a shove, Greg moves slightly to the left and — yep, Peter falls in the pool! It’s kind of sad that this recurring bit is the only part of The Brady Bunch Hour that I ever find myself looking forward to. Greg then introduces a giant creature named H.R. Puff-in-Stuff, who proceeds to “lip-synch” to an Elton John song called Celebration.
Alice the Maid comes out on stage and explains that “Well, Greg’s back now,” and the family is going to throw a party for him. But first, it’s time for Marcia to sing Time In A Bottle. Much as with Barry Williams, it’s not that Maureen McCormick has a bad voice. She has a perfectly pleasant voice. But she’s singing a song that’s way outside of her range. Plus, someone decided that she should wear her hair up for her performance, which was not a good look for her. Maureen McCormick had really pretty hair so why would you hide that?
We then cut to Jackie Merrill, delivering a Tennessee Williams-style monologue about how he was only doing his job when he gave Greg that terrible apartment. The Bradys then throw a party for Greg. Bobby gets a cake smashed in his face. Bleh. I hate that gag, it’s so messy. Is this over yet?
Actually, it is almost over. The Bradys perform the finale, a medley of songs about being happy, including the Happy Days theme song.
This episode was kind of annoying but at least it had Vincent Price. Plus, that bit with the dancing monster was enjoyably weird. I don’t blame Greg for wanting to get out of there.
Hey, there’s only five more episodes of this show left. Yay!
As some of our regular readers undoubtedly know, I am involved in a few weekly live tweets on twitter. I host #FridayNightFlix every Friday, I co-host #ScarySocial on Saturday, and I am one of the five hosts of #MondayActionMovie! Every week, we get together. We watch a movie. We tweet our way through it.
Tonight, at 10 pm et, #FridayNightFlix has got 1982’s ROCKY III!
Do you have the eye of the tiger?
If you want to join us this Friday, just hop onto twitter, start the movie at 10 pm et, and use the #FridayNightFlix hashtag! It’s a friendly group and welcoming of newcomers so don’t be shy.
Rocky III is available on Prime and Netflix! See you there!
Though this video was directed by Anton Corbijn, it owes an obvious debt to Ingmar Bergman. Death never tires of playing chess, I guess. Does Death play checkers?
Enjoy!
Through the Shattered Lens 