Cleaning Out The DVR: The Watcher In The Woods (dir by Melissa Joan Hart)

Posted on January 16, 2018 by Lisa Marie Bowman

(Hi there! So, as you may know because I’ve been talking about it on this site all year, I have got way too much stuff on my DVR. Seriously, I currently have 163 things recorded! I’ve decided that, on February 15th, I am going to erase everything on the DVR, regardless of whether I’ve watched it or not. So, that means that I’ve now have only have a month to clean out the DVR! Will I make it? Keep checking this site to find out! I recorded The Watcher In The Woods off of Lifetime on October 21st, 2017!)

There’s something watching in the woods.

At the very least, that’s what Jan (Tallulah Evans) believes. Jan and her family are spending the summer in Wales, at the Aylwood Manor. From the minute that they move in, Jan starts to suspect that something is strange about the place. Sometimes, she thinks that she can hear whispers coming from the nearby woods. Her younger sister starts to act strangely. Their parents are convinced that Jan is just playing tricks and trying to frighten them. When Jan tries to find out more information about both the woods and her new home, she discovers that most of the people in the village don’t want to talk about it. Those that do speak to her tend to say things like, “Soon, you’ll be gone too.”

(Other than some shots of the beautiful countryside, I doubt this film will do much for Welsh tourism.)

And then there’s Mrs. Aylwood (Anjelica Huston), the mysterious and stand-offish owner of Aylwood Manor. Thirty years ago, her daughter disappeared in the woods. Most people in the village believe that Mrs. Aylwood murdered her own daughter. At first, Jan suspects that she’s a witch and that she not only sacrificed her daughter but now wants to sacrifice Jan’s sister as well!

Of course, the truth might be something altogether different. It’s not always so easy to tell who is a witch and who is just a grieving mother. The only thing that Jan knows for sure is that there’s something in the woods and it’s watching…

I have to admit that the main reason I wanted to see The Watcher In The Woods was because it was directed by Melissa Joan Hart and she’ll always be Sabrina, the Teenage Witch to me. (Don’t start yelling at me about God’s Not Dead 2. Actors have bills to pay and Melissa gave about as good a performance as anyone could with that script.) Hart does a pretty good job directing The Watcher In The Woods. It’s not particularly scary but, for all the talk of witches and demons, it’s not really meant to be a horror film. Instead, it’s a coming-of-age story with paranormal elements. Jan not only learns about what’s watching in the woods but she also learns an important lesson about assuming that people are witches. And, even if it’s not really a scary movie, it does have some appropriately creepy scenes. The woods are a great location and there’s a scene where Jan nearly downs that’s especially well-handled. The film is also well-acted, with a natural and believable performance from Tallulah Evans and an enjoyably stylized one from Anjelica Huston.

All in all, The Watcher in The Woods was an enjoyable October treat.

Cleaning Out The DVR: Story of a Girl (dir by Kyra Sedgwick)

Posted on January 15, 2018 by Lisa Marie Bowman

(Hi there! So, as you may know because I’ve been talking about it on this site all year, I have got way too much stuff on my DVR. Seriously, I currently have 163 things recorded! I’ve decided that, on February 15th, I am going to erase everything on the DVR, regardless of whether I’ve watched it or not. So, that means that I’ve now have only have a month to clean out the DVR! Will I make it? Keep checking this site to find out! I recorded Story of a Girl off of Lifetime on July 23rd, 2017!)

Michael (Kevin Bacon) owns a pizza place in a small town. He’s just hired 16 year-old Deanna Lambert (Ryann Shane) to work for him over summer. Deanna shows up for her first day of work. Deanna apologizes for being late. Michael points out that he has no costumers so it doesn’t matter. Michael then introduces Deanna to his other employee, Tommy (Tyler Johnston). Deanna looks shocked. Tommy looks shocked.

“You two know each other?” Michael asks.

“In the biblical sense,” Tommy replies.

And so it goes from there…

Seriously, what was I doing on July 23rd that kept me from watching Story of a Girl? Was I watching a shark movie on SyFy? I do remember that Story of a Girl was very aggressively advertised in the days leading up to its premiere and I did actually mean to watch it. I’ve read the Sara Zarr penned book on which it was based and the commercials made it look fairly good. Add to that, it was directed by Kyra Sedgwick and co-starred Kevin Bacon and they seem like such a nice couple that I was naturally hoping it would be a good movie.

Three years ago, a sex video featuring 13 year-old Deanna and 17 year-old Tommy went viral. While Tommy (who, as Michael points out, was committing a felony) suffers not a single bit for taking advantage of his best friend’s younger sister, Deanna is branded a slut and sent into social exile. Her father, Ray (Jon Tenney), refuses to forgive her. Tensions at home are exasperated by the presence of Deanna’s brother, Darren (Iain Belcher), his girlfriend, Stacey (Sosie Bacon), and their baby. Darren and Stacey are planning on moving into a place of their own and Deanna is planning on going with them.

Though it may not be obvious from that plot description, Story a Girl is not a typical Lifetime film. It takes place in a thoroughly blue-collar milieu and the Lamberts live in perhaps the ugliest, most cluttered house that I’ve ever seen. Between that house and Ray acting like an asshole 24/7, it’s easy to understand why Deanna wants to get away from these people. The problem, however, is that, after only a few minutes, most viewers will be desperate to get out of there as well. And, unlike Deanna, viewers actually have a way of doing that. They can just change the channel. The film does have a good and important message but the characters are all so off-putting that a good deal of the audience probably won’t stick around to hear it.

Story of a Girl is a disappointingly superficial film. The Juno influence is obvious but Story of a Girl never comes to life in the same way that Juno did. Kevin Bacon is solid as Michael and Ryann Shane does a passable Ellen Page impersonation but everyone else is trapped in a film that’s long on plot but short on depth. I really wanted to like Story of a Girl but I just didn’t.

Cleaning Out The DVR: Fatherly Obsession (dir by Daniel Ringey)

Posted on January 15, 2018 by Lisa Marie Bowman

(Hi there! So, as you may know because I’ve been talking about it on this site all year, I have got way too much stuff on my DVR. Seriously, I currently have 166 things recorded! I’ve decided that, on February 15th, I am going to erase everything on the DVR, regardless of whether I’ve watched it or not. So, that means that I’ve now have only have a month to clean out the DVR! Will I make it? Keep checking this site to find out! I recorded Fatherly Obsession off of the Lifetime Movie Network on December 26th, 2017!)

Alyssa Haroldosn (Molly McCook) is a stand-up comedian who has recently moved from Jackson Hole, Wyoming to Los Angeles.

That makes sense, doesn’t it? I mean, I’ve never been to Wyoming, though I did once live in Colorado and I imagine that’s kind of like being in Wyoming. Still, I imagine that there’s probably more opportunities for a comedian in L.A. than in Jackson Hole. Then again, it also seems like there would be considerably less competition in Wyoming than in California. Actually, if Alyssa really wanted to go some place with no competition, she should have moved to Colorado. Nobody’s funny in Colorado…

But, to get back to the movie, it turns out that Alyssa didn’t just move for her career. She also moved because 1) her family was way too clingy and 2) she had a stalker. When we first meet her, she’s living in a cheap motel room and calling 911 nearly every night. But then she’s lucky enough to meet a handsome realtor named Oliver (Jack Turner). Oliver not only appreciates a good fish taco but he also knows of a good, empty apartment!

There’s only three issues with the apartment:

It’s in Oliver’s building and, if you live near Oliver, that means that you’re somehow obligated to share a fish taco with him. Seriously, Oliver never shuts up about his love for fish tacos.
The apartment is empty because the previous tenant — who looked just like Alyssa — was found dead in her bathtub.
The landlord, Robert (Ted McGinley), is a mentally unbalanced stalker who is desperately looking for someone to take the place of his daughter!

You can probably already guess what happens but Fatherly Obsession does add a few new elements to the typical Lifetime stalking formula. When Robert — like all Lifetime stalkers — spies on Alyssa’s apartment, he doesn’t just watch her on his computer. No, Robert uses virtual reality glasses! What that means is that, at random moments, Robert materializes in Alyssa’s apartment and watches her go about her day. It’s a nicely creepy twist to the usual Lifetime formula.

The biggest problem with Fatherly Obsession is that Alyssa’s a comedian and, as a result, the dialogue is often excessively quippy. I spent the first half of the movie worried that Alyssa was going to spend the whole movie almost exclusively speaking in one liners. Then Oliver started talking about fish tacos and I was just like, “Oh my God! MAKE IT STOP!”

But the film got better as it went along. Though her character sometimes drove me crazy, Molly McCook did a good job of capturing both the pain of being a stalked and the difficult of recovery. Ted McGinley was also incredibly creepy as Robert. Fatherly Obsession was a typical Lifetime stalking film but it had enough interesting moments to make it worthwhile for fans of the genre.

Film Review: The Commuter (dir by Jaume Collet-Sera)

Posted on January 14, 2018 by Lisa Marie Bowman

It’s January, which means that it’s time for another silly action movie starring Liam Neeson. Ever since Taken was first released way back in 2008, Liam has been a regular fixture during the first few months of each new year, either killing terrorists or killing gangsters. Regardless of the film, he’s always a world-weary guy who loves his family and who has a unique set of skills. The specific skills may change from film to film but they all pretty much have to do with killing people.

For instance, in the latest Liam Neeson action film, The Commuter, Liam plays Michael MacCauley. Michael may currently sell life insurance but he used to be a detective with the NYPD. Judging by some of the things that Michael does over the course of this film, being a detective in New York City apparently requires you to have a set of skills that one would normally associate with James Bond or Jason Bourne. However, Michael left all of that behind. Sure, he might still get together with his former partner (Patrick Wilson) for a beer and he still complains about his former captain (Sam Neill). But Michael’s in the insurance game now. As he explains it, he’s nearly 60, he’s got a teenage son getting ready for college, and he has two mortgages to pay off. Michael and his family still haven’t recovered from the recession. Don’t get him started on Goldman Sachs…

It sure is a good thing that Michael has that good job!

Except, of course, he doesn’t. One day, Michael arrives at the office, is given a rather weak severance package, and is told that his services will no longer be needed. Wondering how he’s going to tell his wife and son that their lives are pretty much over, Michael wanders around New York, gets a little drunk, and then eventually boards the train that will take him back home.

Michael is a regular on the train. As is quickly made clear, he knows all of the other regular commuters, like grizzled old Walt (Jonathan Banks) and neurotic Tony (Andy Nyman). He’s also still enough of a cop that he notices people who are riding the train for the first time. For instance, there’s Joanna (Vera Farmiga). Joanna sits down in front of him and strikes up a conversation. She asks him what he would do if she told him that there was a bag full of money in one of the air conditioning vents but that, if he takes the money, he’s agreeing to do something for her. When Joanna gets off at the next stop, Michael checks the vent. The money’s there and now, so is the task. Michael has to find and identify one passenger on the train. If he doesn’t, his family dies…

Even by the standards of a Liam Neeson action film, The Commuter is a deeply silly movie. However, that very silliness is the key to the film’s appeal. After getting off to a strong start with a witty montage of Michael repeatedly waking up and leaving for work day-after-day, The Commuter settles down and it seems as if it’s going to be a typical Liam Neeson action film. However, as the film progresses, things get just more and more bizarre. Suddenly, Michael is getting into brutal fist fights in empty train cars. No one in the movie ever seems to care that, every time they see Michael, he’s a little bit more beaten up than he was the last time. Suddenly, out of nowhere, trains are careening out of control, people are getting shoved in front of buses, and men with snakes tattooed on their neck are giving Michael the side eye. At one point, Michael nearly gets crushed underneath the train and then has to run and leap to get back on. You find yourself wondering how a 60 year-old insurance salesman is managing to do all of this. (The answer, of course, is that he’s Liam Neeson and Liam Neeson can do anything…)

A little over an hour into the film, The Commuter hits an operatic level of silliness, one that will probably never be equaled by any other movie that Liam Neeson ever makes. If you stop too long to think about any of it, the movie will fall apart. To be honest, very little of what Michael does make sense but the conspiracy that’s taking advantage of him makes even less sense. The bad guys are either incredibly stupid or incredibly brilliant, depending on what the story requires from scene to scene.

But no matter! This is the fourth film that director Jaume Collet-Sera has made with Liam Neeson. None of their collaborations make much sense but all of them are entertaining as long as you’re willing to sit back, relax, and don’t overthink the logic of what you’re watching. Much as he did with The Shallows, Collet-Sera makes good use of the film’s limited setting and Neeson is his usual grizzled but charismatic self. The Commuter is about as silly as can be but it’s an undeniably entertaining thrill ride.

Catching Up With The Films of 2017: American Made (dir by Doug Liman)

Posted on January 14, 2018 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Oh, Tom Cruise.

You magnificent and problematic bastard.

Tom Cruise has become so associated with Scientology and all of its creepy excesses that it’s sometimes easy to forget that he’s always been a pretty good actor and he’s actually getting better with age. In the Mission Impossible films, he’s proven that he can be a better James Bond than Daniel Craig. In Edge of Tomorrow, he and Emily Blunt brought real depth to what could have just been another generic action film. Even as bad as The Mummy may have been, the film failed because of a bad script and bad direction. Tom Cruise’s performance was actually one of the few things in that movie that did work.

And then there’s American Made.

Directed by Edge of Tomorrow‘s Doug Liman, American Made is supposedly based on a true story. At least as portrayed in this film, Barry Seal was an airline pilot who, in the late 70s, was recruited by the CIA to fly over Central America and take pictures of communist rebels. An adrenaline junkie who had grown bored with his day job, Barry quickly agreed and even got a thrill out of the rebels shooting at him as he flew over. Barry was then recruited by the Medellin Cartel and soon, he was flying drugs into the United States while still working for the CIA. While the President was declaring war on drugs, Barry was attending secret meetings at the White House. The CIA set Barry up with his own airport in Mena, Arkansas, where he both trained anti-communist guerillas and arranged for the importation of cocaine into the United States. This went on until both the CIA and the Colombians decided that Barry knew too much and was expendable.

It’s a pretty wild story and, at the very least, some of it is true. It is generally acknowledged that Barry Seal worked for both the CIA and the Medellin Cartel and that the little town of Mena, Arkansas was, briefly, the very unlikely center of America’s drug trade. The film places most of the blame on Ronald Reagan and the Bushes. Of course, if you ask any of the older folks in Arkansas, they’ll tell you that Bill Clinton not only knew about the cocaine coming in to Mena but that he also snorted at least half of it up his nose. Director Doug Liman, himsef, has said that American Made was inspired by the life of Barry Seal but that its shouldn’t necessarily be considered a biopic.

Despite a few scenes where the film tries a bit too hard to duplicate the style of American Hustle, American Made is an entertaining film. That’s largely due to Tom Cruise’s performance as Barry. Cruise plays Barry Seal as man who, no matter what the situation, always managed to have a good time and, watching American Made, you can’t help but suspect that Tom Cruise was having an equally good time playing him. Cruise is at his most relaxed and charismatic in American Made, even managing to deliver his lines in a passable Southern accent. (The rest of the cast is less successful, too often sounding quasi-Texan even though they’re playing Arkansans.) Even after his whole operation has fallen apart and Barry knows that his days are numbered, you get the feeling that he wouldn’t change a thing. He just seems like he’s happy to have had the experience.

(For me, Cruise’s best moment comes after Barry crashes his airplane in a suburban neighborhood. Stepping out the wreckage, covered in cocaine, Barry steals a kid’s bike and says, “You didn’t see me!” before triumphantly riding off. It’s potentially cartoonish but Cruise sells the scene and makes it work. I was sad to discover, while researching this review, that this apparently didn’t actually happen.)

I liked American Made. It never quite becomes the savage critique of American foreign policy that it appears to want to be but it’s still an entertaining film and a reminder that, weird religious beliefs aside, Tom Cruise is actually a pretty good actor.

Bad Apples: Movie preview and review

Posted on January 13, 2018 by paddiesthoughts

BAD APPLES-KEY ART-FLAT_preview

Stars:

Brea Grant (“Dexter”, A Ghost Story)

Graham Skipper (Beyond the Gates)

Andrea Collins (The Hospital)

Danielle Reverman (Infernal)

Plot:

It’s Halloween night, and two “bad apples” decide to play some wicked tricks on the one house in a suburban cul-de-sac that is not celebrating Halloween. They terrorize a young couple in their home and these tricks become increasingly more sinister as the night progresses, finally ending in a Halloween the entire neighborhood will never forget.

Review:

Frankly, this movie is truly “Rotten to the core” And, by that, I mean I would eat every apple seed of this movie! Don’t ‘worm’ your way out of seeing it. (ok, done with the puns!)

Actually, I had a lot of fun watching this movie! And don’t the twins look so cute!

cute

In all fairness, this is one of the funniest horror comedies I have seen in a while!

Now, let’s all sit down and have a glass of…ummm… Apple cider (last pun):

index

And watch the trailer!

Would I recommend this movie?

I seriously had fun watching it. So, if your gore-humor is like mine, then yeah, absolutely see it.

Credits:

This Bryan Coyne film is distributed via Uncork’d Entertainment and will be available on VOD February 6, 2018

Warning:

It does get a bit gory at times!

2017 in Review: The Best of SyFy

Posted on January 11, 2018 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Continuing my look back at the best of 2017, today is the day that I reveal my picks for the best SyFy movies and performances of the previous year!

But before I do that, a plea to the SyFy Network. I make this plea every year and it never does any good. It probably won’t do any good this year. But still, I’m going to make it. SyFy, give us more original films! From a business point of view, I can understand why SyFy shifted their focus from movies to episodic television. But I’m not a business person! I’m a movie lover, one who has wonderful memories of when every weekend would bring another gloriously over-the-top SyFy movie.

Those were wonderful days and it’s sad that the only time that I get to relive them is either during Shark Week or during October.

Seriously, SyFy — give us more original movies!

With that in mind, here are my picks for the best of 2017 SyFy:

(All credits are based on what’s listed at the imdb. If anyone has been incorrectly credited or left out, please leave a comment and I will correct the mistake.)

Best Picture — House of the Witch (produced by Neil Elman, Margaret Huddleston, Bryan Sexton)

This haunted house movie was effectively creepy and featured some unexpectedly starting imagery. Runners-up (and it was a close race): Trailer Park Shark, Sharknado 5, and The Sandman.

Best Director — Griff Furst for Trailer Park Shark

The idea of sharks attacking a trailer park sounds like a huge joke but Furst crafted it into a compelling and entertaining story that celebrated redneck ingenuity.

Best Actor — Ian Ziering in Sharknado 5

The fifth time is the charm as Ziering gives his best performance so far as the chainsaw-wielding Finn.

Best Actress — Haylie Duff in The Sandman

Duff brings some much-needed gravity to the role of a formerly irresponsible aunt trying to save her niece from a monster made of sand.

Best Supporting Actor — Jason London in Mississippi River Sharks and Dennis Haskins in Trailer Park Shark

As much as I tried, I simply could not make a choice between London’s comedic performance (as himself) and Dennis Haskins’s villainous turn. So, we have a tie!

Best Supporting Actress — Shae Smolik in The Sandman

As the girl being haunted by the Sandman, Smolik gave a refreshingly realistic performance.

Best Screenplay — Neil Elman for House of the Witch

This is the third year in a row that Neil Elman has won in this category.

Best Cinematography — Dane Lawing for House of the Witch

House of the Witch feature some truly haunting images. In my review, I raved about one shot in particular, of a pickup truck driving across the desolate landscape in the middle of the night.

Best Costumes — Mary-Sue Morris for Empire of the Sharks and Kendra Terpenning for Neverknock

Another tie. Empire of the Sharks proved that, just because the world’s ending, that doesn’t mean you can’t look good, Neverknock’s costumes made good use of the Halloween setting, especially with Lola Flannery’s devil costume.

Best Editing — Anna Florit and Ryan Michelle for Sharknado 5

In 2017, Sharknado 5 took us on a trip around the world, offered up nonstop action, and there was never a boring moment.

Best Makeup — Madeleine Botha for Empire of the Sharks

Again, just because the world’s ending, that doesn’t mean you can’t look good.

Best Score — Andrew Morgan Smith for Trailer Park Shark

The score brought the bayou, the trailer park, and the shark to life!

Best Production Design — Anthony Stabley and Dana Rice for House of the Witch

Seriously, that house was so creepy!

Best Sound — Dylan Blount, Leandro Cassan, Jonathan Iglecias , Mitchell Kohen, Chris Polczinski, Mike Varela for House of the Witch

It wasn’t just the way the house looked in House of the Witch that made it a creepy place. It was also the way that every sound in the background could have just been someone stumbling around or it could have been the witch about to jump out and rip off someone’s fingers.

Best Visual Effects — Craig Bassuk, Sasha Burrow, Yancy Calzada, Glenn Campbell , Yolanda Charlo Rodriguez, Aine Graham, John Karner, Tammy Klein, Mark Kochinski , Kevin Lane, Christian McIntire, James Payfer, Richard A. Payne, Paul Runyan, Chris Simmons, Scott Wheeler, Aaron Witlin,
Al Magliochetti for Sharknado 5

Keep those sharks flying!

Tomorrow, my look back at 2017 continues with my list of good things that I saw on television last year (not counting, of course, all of the good things that I just mentioned in this post).

Previous entries in the TSL’s Look Back at 2017:

Cleaning Out The DVR: Empire of the Sharks (dir by Mark Atkins)

Posted on January 10, 2018 by Lisa Marie Bowman

(Hi there! So, as you may know because I’ve been talking about it on this site all year, I have got way too much stuff on my DVR. Seriously, I currently have 178 things recorded! I’ve decided that, on February 1st, I am going to erase everything on the DVR, regardless of whether I’ve watched it or not. So, that means that I’ve now have only have a month to clean out the DVR! Will I make it? Keep checking this site to find out! I recorded Empire of the Sharks, off of SyFy on August 5th, 2017!)

Welcome to the future! It’s very wet.

That’s to be expected, of course. In fact, now that 98% of the world is underwater, we should probably be surprised that the future isn’t more wet than it actually is. What survives of humanity now lives on floating, makeshift communities. Some of them are doing better than others, of course.

A warlord floats out there. His name is Ian Fien (John Savage). With the help of his main henchman, Mason Scrimm (Jonathan Pienaar), Fien has several communities under his grip. Everyone is required to pay Fien his tribute. Failing to do so means getting attacked by the sharks that Scrimm has under his control.

(Once 98% of your planet is underwater, you learn not to laugh at the possibility of being eaten by a shark.)

However, Fien has finally gone too far. He’s kidnapped Willow (Ashley de Lange), the daughter of a shark caller who may have inherited her family’s ability to control the sharks. Her boyfriend, Timor (Jack Armstrong), sets out to rescue Willow but it quickly turns out that he’s not going to be able to do it alone. Fien is simply too powerful and his fortress too well-defended by both men and sharks. Timor is going to have to travel to a floating bar and recruit a team of misfits to help him both rescue Willow and free his people from Fien’s tyranny.

If the plot of Empire of the Sharks sounds familiar, that’s because it’s a prequel to 2016’s Planet of the Sharks. It’s also an Asylum film. Of course, The Asylum is best-known for the Sharknado franchise but I think that, if they don’t also develop a Planet of the Sharks franchise, they’ll be missing out on a huge opportunity. One of the things that I liked about both Planet and Empire was the amount of effort that was put into creating the future. Each floating community is its own little world and full of details that will reward sharp-eyed viewers.

(I know that some people online complained that everyone looked too good, considering that they were living in a post-apocalypse wasteland. That may be true but here’s something to consider. Do you really want to spend 90 minutes watching ugly people?)

Anyway, I enjoyed Empire of the Sharks. The movie is pure fun. (Just the fact that the main villains are named Fein and Scrimm should tell you a lot about the film’s sense of humor.) It’s a cheerfully crazy movie, featuring CGI sharks and a nicely demented performance from John Savage. Hopefully, during this year’s shark week, we’ll get a third installment in the Planet of the Sharks franchise.

2017 In Review: Lisa Marie’s Final Post About Twin Peaks: The Return (for now)

Posted on January 9, 2018 by Lisa Marie Bowman

“Nothing will die. The stream flows, the wind blows, the cloud fleets, the heart beats. Nothing will die.” — John Merrick’s Mother, quoting Tennyson, at the end of The Elephant Man (1980)

Was Twin Peaks: The Return a movie or a TV show?

As I sit here on January 9th, 2018, that’s a question that’s still on my mind. There are many critics who insist that Twin Peaks: The Return should be viewed as being a 16-hour movie. It’s a claim that I, myself, have made several times. In order to support this argument, we point out that David Lynch and Mark Frost didn’t sit down and write 16 different scripts. Instead, they wrote one 900-page script which they then filmed and subsequently divided into 16 different “chapters.” It’s really not that much different from what Quentin Tarantino did with Kill Bill or what Peter Jackson did with both The Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit. As well, Twin Peaks: The Return was such a monumental artistic achievement that calling it a TV show just seems somehow diminishing.

And yet, the fact of the matter is that Twin Peaks: The Return did air on television. It aired in 16 different episodes, which were aired on a weekly basis. To many, that fact alone makes Twin Peaks: The Return a television show.

It may all seem like a silly question to some readers. However, for those of us who like to make best-of lists at the start of the new year, it is a legitimate issue. Should I include Twin Peaks: The Return at the top of my list of the best 26 films of 2017 or should I rave about it in my list of good things I saw on television in 2017?

My solution is to do neither. Twin Peaks: The Return was such a monumental achievement that it deserves a best-of entry of its very own.

(Of course, not everyone is going to agree. For everyone who loved Twin Peaks: The Return, there was someone else who hated it with just as much of a passion.)

Months after the show ended, Twin Peaks: The Return continues to haunt many viewers. As the Man From Another Place once told Agent Cooper, “She is full of secrets.” When the show ended, many of the show’s mysteries were left unsolved. Really, we shouldn’t have been surprised. As a filmmaker, David Lynch has always been most interested in mysteries than solutions. What happened to Audrey? Why did Laura/Carrie scream? At the end of the show, was Dale trapped in another world or another time? Was BOB really destroyed?

Interestingly, David Lynch actually provided viewers with two endings. The first ending, which occurred halfway through Part 17, was an ending that would have been perfect for a television show. Dale Cooper, back to normal, defeated the bad guys and was reunited with all of his friends. The second ending — also known as Part 18— was a much more Lynchian ending as two strangers took a road trip to nowhere. Part 17 gave us hope for the future. Part 18 ended with a dark reminder that the past cannot be changed, no matter how much we obsess over it. For me, Part 18 was the most important chapter of Twin Peaks: The Return. Part 8, of course, is the chapter that got and continues to get all the attention. And Part 8 was probably one of the greatest stand-alone episodes in television history. But, when considering the reoccurring themes of Twin Peaks: The Return and all of Lynch’s work, Part 18 was far more important.

What’s interesting is that, while the show ended on a dark note, Twin Peaks: The Return was often Lynch at his most optimistic. For all the terrible things that happened, the show also featured a reoccurring theme of redemption. Two of the original show’s most villainous characters — Dana Ashbrook’s Bobby Briggs and Richard Beymer’s Ben Horne — were reintroduced as two of the most sympathetic characters to be found in The Return. Agent Cooper finally escaped from the Black Lodge and not only got a chance to redeem himself by destroying Bob but he also destroyed his evil Double. He even got a chance to turn Dougie Jones into a good husband, father, and employee.

In the end, it would appear that Cooper’s only mistake was thinking that he could change the past. He may have saved Laura but, in doing so, he just transformed her into Carrie, an unbalanced woman living in a house with a dead body on the couch. As her final scream confirmed, he could save her life but he couldn’t erase her pain. The past is the past but the future can always be better.

Of course, it wasn’t just the characters on the show who won redemption. The cast of Twin Peaks: The Return was truly amazing and, by the time the show ended, my opinion of several performers had changed forever. Who would ever have guessed that Jim Belushi would end up being one of my favorite characters? Or that Michael Cera would turn Wally Brando into a minor cult hero? Or that David Lynch would prove to be as good an actor as he is a director? Or that Balthazar Getty would get a chane to redeem his less than impressive work in Lost Highway with a chilling performance as the newest face of Twin Peaks corruption? Even the returnees from the original show — Dana Ashbrook, Wendy Robie, Sheryl Lee, Harry Goaz, Kimmy Robertson, Russ Tamblyn, Everett McGill, Peggy Lipton, Grace Zabriskie, James Marshall, Madchen Amick, and others — were given a chance to reveal new depths of character. Veterans like Robert Forster, Ashley Judd, Laura Dern, Don Murray, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Naomi Watts and Tim Roth shared the stage with newcomers like Chrysta Bell and Eamon Farren and they all came together to create an unforgettable world.

You could even argue that Twin Peaks: The Return was a comeback of sorts for Kyle MacLachlan. Hollywood has never seemed to really understand how to best use this appealing but quirky actor. Twin Peaks: The Return provided him with a chance to show what he can do, giving him not just one but three characters to play.

Twin Peaks: The Return gave us one final chance to appreciate some talented people who are no longer with us. Harry Dean Stanton was the face of old-fashioned decency. Miguel Ferrer provided snarky commentary, letting the audience know that the show understood how strange it was. Warren Frost returned briefly, still as reliable as ever as Doc Hayward. And Catherine E. Coulson, who was so often Lynch’s muse, got to play the role one more time.

(Jack Nance, Don S. Davis, Frank Silva, and David Bowie all made appearances as well, a reminder that they may no longer be with us but they will never be gone.)

In the end, it seems appropriate to end this post with a picture of Ed and Norma, finally together. The world of Twin Peaks: The Return was frequently a dark one but sometimes, love won.

Tomorrow, my look back at 2017 continues with my picks for my favorite songs of 2017.

Previous entries in the TSL’s Look Back at 2017:

Cleaning Out The DVR: House of the Witch (dir by Alex Merkin)

Posted on January 8, 2018 by Lisa Marie Bowman

(Hi there! So, as you may know because I’ve been talking about it on this site all year, I have got way too much stuff on my DVR. Seriously, I currently have 178 things recorded! I’ve decided that, on February 1st, I am going to erase everything on the DVR, regardless of whether I’ve watched it or not. So, that means that I’ve now have only have a month to clean out the DVR! Will I make it? Keep checking this site to find out! I recorded House of the Witch, off of SyFy on October 7th, 2017!)

Let’s say that you’re a teenager and you’re living in a small, rural town. There’s not really much to do, other than making out in pickup trucks and hanging out at the local diner.

However, there is a haunted house.

Of course, the official story is that the house isn’t haunted because everyone knows that there’s no such thing as ghosts. That said, the house does have a long and somewhat infamous history. And everyone knows that going anywhere near the house would probably be considered to be trespassing. In fact, one of your classmates is currently missing. He was last seen talking to two girls who dared him to pry the address off of the house’s front door.

So, it’s Halloween night. And you’re living in a small town and there’s not a whole lot to do.

So, the question is: would you break into the haunted house?

Now, I know a lot of you are probably saying that there’s no way you would break into that house. You’re too smart for that! No way would you break the law and risk your lives just so you could go inside a condemned house! You’re just going to go home early, do your homework, and get some sleep so you can wake up rested and ready for school on November 1st!

That’s what people say but we all know that’s not true. If I found myself in that situation, I would totally break into that house and so would you. Let’s just be honest here. It’s fun to take chances. It’s fun to get scared on Halloween, especially when your best friends are the ones who are scaring you. Even more importantly, it’s fun to think about how, for years afterward, you can brag about how you spent the night in a haunted house and you survived!

It’s human nature. We all want to touch the freshly painted wall. We all want to see the movies that were not supposed to watch. And we all want to break into the haunted house on Halloween.

House of the Witch is wonderfully creepy little movie about a group of teenagers who give into their natural instincts and break into a house on Halloween. Needless to say, the house turns out to be even more haunted than they were led to believe. In fact, the house is home to an ancient witch. Soon, everyone is trapped in the house and being hunted down one-by-one. Blood is spilled. Fingers are lost. Faces are infected with … something.

The storyline may sound simple but it’s also wonderfully effective and atmospheric. The dilapidated house is a truly frightening location and it just gets more frightening as the film progresses. By the end of the movie, I was looking over my shoulder to make sure that there weren’t any witches creeping around my living room. (Fortunately, there weren’t.) The film does a great job of keeping the viewer off-balance. Even though you know that damn witch is going to be behind every corner, you still jump when she suddenly pops up.

I liked the whole look of the film. Early on in the film, there’s a wonderful overhead shot of a pickup truck heading towards the house and the scene perfectly captures not only the creepiness of Halloween but also the emptiness of life in the nearby small town. Seeing the truck driving past empty and endless fields, it was easy to understand why the film’s characters were drawn to that cursed house. In a landscape defined by nothing, that house and its infamous reputation was at least something.

All in all, this was a great film for Halloween.