Here’s The Trailer For Ralph Breaks The Internet: Wreck-it Ralph 2


When the trailer for Ralph Breaks The Internet: Wreck-It Ralph 2 first began, I have to admit that I panicked a little bit.

See, I really enjoyed the first Wreck-It Ralph, even though I’m not totally convinced that it’s a film that really needed a sequel.  However, whether needed or not, a sequel to any successful animated film is pretty much a given so my main hope was that the sequel would at least not damage the legacy of the original.

And then this trailer started.

And there’s Wreck-It Ralph entering the internet and we get some quick, cutesy product placement for Twitter and Snapchat and I was just like, “OH MY GOD!  EMOJI MOVIE!  NOOOOOOO!”

Am I alone in that reaction?  I bet not.

But, I stuck with the trailer and actually, it looks like this movie might be a little bit more self-aware than the Emoji Movie.  I mean, it basically looks like it’s going to be a commercial for Disney but maybe it’ll actually have a sense of humor about its reason for existing.  The scene with all of the princesses would seem to suggest that might be the case.

Plus, Iron Man’s in it and y’all know how much I love iron men…

I’ll give it a shot!

 

What Lisa Watched Last Night #181: Nightclub Secrets (dir by Joe Menendez)


Last night, I watched the latest Lifetime Movie Network premiere, Nightclub Secrets!

Why Was I Watching It?

Because it was on the Lifetime Movie Network, of course!

However, I also have to say that I really liked the title.  Usually, whenever the word “secrets” appears in the title of a Lifetime movie, it’s a good sign.  And, let us not forget, this title not only promised us secrets but nightclub secrets as well!  As anyone who has watched 54 can tell you, nightclubs are full of secrets…

What Was It About?

It’s the story of two sisters and their alcoholic mother.  Rachel (Rachel Hendrix) is wild and does mysterious things.  Zoe (Kate Mansi) reads mysteries and teaches a creative writing class, in which she encourages her students to be sadists when it comes to coming up with difficulties for their characters to overcome.

It’s also the story of a murder.  When Zoe is informed that Rachel’s been murdered, she decides to investigate her sister’s secret life.  It leads to the shy and repressed Zoe getting a job as a “bottle girl” at the same nightclub where her sister worked.  How many secrets can you fit in a nightclub?  It’s time for Zoe to find out!

What Worked?

I liked the sibling relationship between Rachel and Zoe.  It rang true and it’s authenticity provided some needed depth to the film’s plot.  Kate Mansi, who played Zoe, has done a quite a few Lifetime films and always does a good job of striking the right balance between emotional honesty and melodramatic fun.  As well, I thought Gigi Rice did a good job playing the alcoholic mother.

Towards the end of the film, there was an enjoyably absurd twist.  I won’t spoil it in this review but it was still fun, even if it did demand quite a suspension of disbelief.

What Did Not Work?

For a movie that was called Nightclub Secrets, the film really didn’t feature enough secrets about the nightclub.  I was hoping for something that would be a little bit more fun and sordid like Confessions of a Go Go Girl or maybe Babysitter’s Black Book.  Instead, this movie was a pretty much a standard Lifetime murder mystery that just happened to feature a nightclub.

“Oh my God!  Just like me!” Moments

I related to both of the sisters.  I can be wild like Rachel.  I can be shy like Zoe.  Zoe and I both love solving a mystery.  That said, I don’t know if I’d ever want to work in a nightclub, if just because I’m not a huge fan of crowds, drunks, or, for that matter, working.  So, if I got a job in a nightclub, I supposed it would have to be one of those struggling nightclubs that no one ever goes to.  Of course, those nightclubs always go out of business after a few weeks so it probably really wouldn’t be worth the trouble to even apply for the job.

On an unrelated note, I used to live near a nightclub where you were required to bring your tax return if you wanted to get inside.  If you didn’t make a certain amount of money, you weren’t allowed to enter.  Needless to say, on any given night, you could find the least likable people in the world standing in line outside of the place.  If any business was ever begging to be the target of a wacky, Ocean’s 11-style heist, it was that place.  Of course, the last time I drove by there, it had been turned into a Gold’s Gym.

Lessons Learned

It’s not easy being a bottle girl.

4 Shots From 4 Marilyn Monroe Films: All About Eve, Don’t Bother To Knock, Bus Stop, The Misfits


4 Shots from 4 Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots from 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking!

If only she hadn’t been destroyed by the Kennedys, Marilyn Monroe would be 92 years old today.  Though Marilyn died in 1962, her performances will live forever.  This is…

4 Shots From 4 Marilyn Monroe Films

All About Eve (1950, dir by Joseph L. Mankiewicz)

Don’t Bother To Knock (1952, dir by Roy Ward Baker)

Bus Stop (1956, dir by Joshua Logan)

The Misfits (1961, dir by John Huston)

Film Review: This Island Earth (dir by Joseph M. Newman and Jack Arnold)


Oh, those poor aliens!

Ever since the 1950s, intergalactic diplomats, soldiers, and explorers have come to Earth looking for help.  Some of them have come from planets that orbit dying stars.  Some represent civilizations that have been destroyed by war or pollution.  Some of them have come here looking to inspire us to be more peaceful and less destructive.  Others were just looking for something to eat.

What they all have in common is that they all came to Earth and things really didn’t work out that well.  Occasionally, they ran into humans who, due to cynicism and skepticism, simply weren’t willing to help.  Often, the aliens arrived just to discover that the humans had no interest in being conquered.  Remember what Eros yelled at the Plan 9 From Outer Space?  “Your stupid, stupid minds!”  Oh yeah?  Well, our menfolk kicked your ass and blew up your flying saucer.  So there.

Consider the sad case of Exeter (Jeff Morrow), the alien at the center of 1955’s This Island Earth.  Exeter has come to Earth with his associates and disguised himself as a human.  Despite the fact that they all have remarkably high foreheads and a total inability to relate to actual humans, no one seems to suspect that Exeter and his friends are from outer space.  Even when he starts recruiting leading scientists to come hang out at his isolated headquarters, it doesn’t seem to occur to anyone that they should be too concerned.  Exeter’s just a little bit weird.  Why worry?

Well, Dr. Carl Meacham (Rex Reason) is worried!  He’s a pilot and a scientist and he’s got a square jaw and one of those deep, 1950s American male voices.  Everything that Dr. Meacham says sounds authoritative.  When you hear that confident, take-no-prisoners voice, you have no doubt that Eisenhower’s in the White House and everything’s going to be alright.  Carl doesn’t trust Exeter and he suspicions are proven correct when he and Dr. Ruth Adams (Faith Domergue) are taken to Exeter’s war-ravaged planet.  Not only is the planet on the verge of blowing up but the whole place is crawling with mutants!

Unfortunately, it takes a while for Carl, Ruth, and Exeter to reach the planet.  This Island Earth is an oddly structured film.  The first third of the film deals with Carl and his squirmy associate, Joe (Robert Nichols), building something called an interocitor.  Once Carl has shown that he can follow the alien instruction booklet, Carl is allowed to meet Exeter.  (For some reason Joe is left behind.)  Once Carl arrives at Exeter HQ, it’s another lengthy wait before he, Ruth, and Exeter are launched into space.

Still, on the plus side, one of the scientists gets to drive this really cool car:

(Unfortunately, the car doesn’t make it to the end of the movie.)

The movie gets a lot better once the action moves to Exeter’s home planet.  The planet was a gloriously realized world, a pop art masterpiece:

And then there were the mutants!  Look at this thing:

Anyway, despite the slow start, This Island Earth is a classic of 1950s science fiction, one that manages to maintain a perfect balance between the sublime and the ludicrous.  Rex Reason and Faith Domergue are inoffensively bland as Carl and Ruth but Jeff Morrow brings a weary and even tragic dignity to the role of Exeter.  If nothing else, it lives up to its title by suggesting that Earth actually is just one insignificant island in the vast ocean of the universe and that both humans and aliens are mere slaves to fate.  For all of his deep-voiced authority, Carl really doesn’t accomplish much over the course of the film.  By that same token, for all of his efforts and his integrity, there’s little that Exeter can do to alter the destiny of his planet.  At times, This Island Earth is almost existential in its portrayal of both human and extraterrestrial inability to alter the whims of fate.  Of course, it’s also a frequently silly film that will be a lot of fun for anyone who appreciates a good B-movie.

On Saturday night, I watched This Island Earth with my friends in the Late Night Movie Gang.  After last week’s experience with Disco Beaver From Outer Space, I decided to play it safe this week.  We had a lot of fun with This Island Earth.  In case you want to learn how to make an interocitor of your very own, the film is available on YouTube.

4 Shots From 4 Vincent Price Films: The Last Man on Earth, The Masque of the Red Death, Dr. Goldfoot and the Girl Bombs, The Witchfinder General


4 Shots from 4 Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots from 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking!

Today is Vincent Price’s birthday!  This edition of 4 Shots From 4 Films is dedicated to him, his memory, and his career!

4 Shots From 4 Vincent Price Films

The Last Man on Earth (1964, dir by Ubaldo Ragona)

The Masque of the Red Death (1964, dir by Roger Corman)

Dr. Goldfoot and the Girl Bombs (1966, dir by Mario Bava)

The Witchfinder General (1968, dir by Matthew Reeves)

Cleaning Out The DVR: Mommy’s Little Angel (dir by Curtis Crawford)


(I recorded Mommy’s Little Angel off of Lifetime on March 17th.)

Katie Porters (Morgan Nuendorf) may only be 12 years old but she’s already had to deal with a lot.

Her mother, Shawna (Kimberly Laferriere), loves her and swears that she would do anything to protect Katie but she’s also a pill-popping drug addict who is constantly on the verge of losing control.  It doesn’t help, of course, that Katie keeps hiding her mother’s pills.  It’s almost as if Kate is trying to get her mother in trouble…

Her father, Darren (Peter Michael Dillon), just spent three years in jail for physically abusing Shawna.  Darren says that he just wants to be with his daughter but Shawna wants nothing to do with him and moves to a different town to get away from him.  Of course, Darren always manages to track Katie and Shawna down.  That probably has something to do with the fact that Katie is always letting him know where she and her mother are hiding.

Katie’s a bad kid with bad thoughts but no one realizes it, largely because she’s only 12 years old and she always knows how to smile and be charming.  For instance, Shawn’s cousin, Nikki (Amanda Clayton), thinks that Katie’s the best!  And Katie likes Nikki, too!  Of course, what’s not to like?  Nikki has a nice big house and, because she’s desperate to be a mother herself, spoils Katie.  In fact, Katie even tells Shawna that she doesn’t care if anything bad ever happens to Shawna.  “I’ll go live with Aunt Nikki,” Katie says.

What a little brat!

Anyway, something bad does eventually happen to Shawna.  She ends up getting tossed off of the top level of a parking garage.  The police and everyone else assume that Shawna committed suicide.  Of course, what they don’t know is that 1) Darren murdered Shawna and 2) Katie arranged for Shawna to be murdered.

So now, Katie is finally living with her Aunt Nikki!  And you would think that Katie would be happy about this!  But no, Katie’s never happy.  As soon as she moves in, Katie comes to realize that there’s all sorts of things competing for Nikki’s attention.  Whether it’s her job or even her husband, Nikki always seems to be putting other things ahead of Katie.

And then, Nikki discovers that she’s pregnant!

Guess how Katie responds to that?

In recent years, Lifetime has shown a surprisingly large number of psycho kid films.  They really do tap into feelings and fears to which all women can relate.  What if your child does grow up to be a psycho?  Also, what if your friend or cousin does a terrible job parenting and then dies and suddenly, you find yourself obligated to take care of their murderous children?  It’s a concern because, deep down, we’re always convinced that most people have no idea how to raise children.

The thing that distinguishes Mommy’s Little Angel from other Lifetime movie about killer kids is just how efficient Katie is in her villainy.  I mean, Katie doesn’t mess around.  When she decides to set a house on fire, it’s obvious that she knows exactly what she’s doing.  When it’s time for Katie to try to convince Nikki to kill for her, Katie chants, “Kill him, Nikki.  Kill him…”  It’s not just that little Katie is evil.  It’s that Katie’s so happy about it!  It all leads to a film that’s enjoyably melodramatic and over-the-top, even by the wonderful standards of Lifetime.

Seriously, don’t turn your back on Katie…

4 Shots From 4 Peter Cushing Films: Hamlet, Doctor Who and the Daleks, Frankenstein Must Be Destroyed, Star Wars


4 Shots from 4 Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots from 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking!

Today is Peter Cushing’s birthday!  This edition of 4 Shots From 4 Films is dedicated to him, his memory, and his career!

4 Shots From 4 Peter Cushing Films

Hamlet (1948, dir by Laurence Olivier)

Doctor Who and the Daleks (1965, dir by Gordon Flemyng)

Frankenstein Must Be Destroyed (1969, dir by Terence Fisher)

Star Wars (1977, dir by George Lucas)

 

The TSL’s Grindhouse: Clown (dir by Jon Watts)


Clown, a gory horror film, sucks.

I can’t say that I was particularly surprised to discover that it sucked but still, I was hoping that it would be better than it turned out to be.  That’s largely because the film itself has a fairly compelling backstory.  In 2010, director Jon Watts and his co-writer, Christopher D. Ford, uploaded a fake trailer for Clown to YouTube, in which they stated that the film would be produced by Eli Roth.  Roth saw the trailer and was so impressed that he actually did decide to produce the film.

Filming began in 2010 and the film spent a while playing the festival circuit, where it got the type of vaguely respectable reviews that are usually given to low-budget horror films made by amateur filmmakers that no one is ever expecting to hear from again.  In 2012, Dimension Films and FilmNation Entertainment acquired the rights to distribute Clown.  What followed was an agonizing wait as Clown was basically released in almost every other country in the world. except for the USA.  In fact, it wouldn’t be until 2016 that Clown would get an American release.  During that time, Jon Watts received deserved acclaim for directing Cop Car and he was hired by Marvel to direct Spider-Man: Homecoming.

As an admirer of Watts’s subsequent films, I was really interested in seeing Clown.  So, yesterday afternoon, I sat down and I watched Clown on Netflix.

Clown is the story of a stupid guy named Kent McCoy (Andy Powers) who tries to save his son’s birthday party by dressing up like a clown.  What Kent doesn’t know is that the clown makeup is cursed and that, by putting it on, he’s now allowed himself to be possessed by a demon that feeds on children!  What a dumbass!  Kent tries to wash the makeup off his face but it won’t come off.  He tries to take off his rainbow wig, just to discover that it’s now permanently attached to scalp.  His wife uses a screw driver to try to pop off the red nose but, instead, she just rips his real nose to pieces.  (The family dog eats the red nose and promptly becomes possessed.)  Kent keeps telling everyone that he’s been possessed by a demon but no one believes him.  Everyone just thinks that he’s a weirdo in clown makeup.

It sounds more interesting than it is.  For all the promise in the idea of a possessed clown, Clown doesn’t do much with it.  Clown is 90 minutes long but it only has enough plot for 30 minutes.  The remaining hour is basically made up of characters repeating what we already know.  We watch as Kent learns that the clown makeup is cursed.  Then, we have to follow his wife as she does her own research and discovers that the clown makeup is cursed.  Then, Peter Stomare shows up and starts explaining to everyone that the clown makeup is cursed.  By this point, I was yelling at the screen, “I KNOW THIS ALREADY!”

Throughout the film, there are hints of the Jon Watts’s talent but, for the most part, they remain merely that.  There’s an effective scene that takes place in a jungle gym at Chuck-E-Cheese’s and occasionally, there will be a line of dialogue or a movement of the camera that actually lives up to the plot’s subversive potential.  However, especially when compared to Cop Car and Spider-Man, Clown is an abysmally paced film.  It’s also terribly acted with Andy Powers neither sympathetic nor compelling as the possessed man in clown makeup.  Not even a reliable character actor like Peter Stomare can bring much to the material.

The general rule of most horror films is that, no matter what the threat, dogs and children usually survive.  The film not only breaks that rule but it breaks it multiple times.  In fact, there’s so much blood spilled in the film that I actually found myself getting depressed watching it.  Lacking both a satiric edge and any real interest in subverting the horror genre, Clown instead comes across as being unnecessarily mean-spirited.  It’s just not much fun to watch.

When it comes to killer clowns, stick with Pennywise.

Film Review: Deadpool 2 (dir by David Leitch)


“From the studio that killed Wolverine!” the poster proclaims.

“Directed by the man who killed John Wick’s dog” the opening credits announce.

Deadpool 2 is so meta that it even opens with a close-up of a figurine of Hugh Jackman impaled on a rock or a branch or whatever it was that finally killed him at the end of Logan.  Deadpool, the irrepressible and nearly indestructible mercenary played by Ryan Reynolds, announces that he’s willing to accept the challenge posed by Logan‘s tragic ending.  Deadpool promises us that, in the movie we’re about to watch, he’ll die as well.  Deadpool then proceeds to blow himself up.

Of course, those of us who have seen first Deadpool film know better than to panic when Deadpool’s severed head flies at the camera.  Deadpool heals so quickly that, as long as his powers are working, he can’t be killed.  If he gets shot or stabbed, the wound heals almost immediately.  Broken bones mend themselves in record time.  When Deadpool literally gets ripped in half, he promptly starts to grow new legs.  Without his powers, of course, Deadpool would have died a long time ago.  He has cancer, a fact that the film doesn’t dwell upon but which still adds a bit of unexpected depth to the character and his trademark dark humor.

Of course, Deadpool is not just unique because his near-immortality.  Deadpool is also unique in that he, and he alone, understands that he’s a character in a movie.  Even more importantly, he understands that he’s a character who is being played by an actor named Ryan Reynolds.  (Some of Deadpool 2‘s best jokes — which I won’t spoil here — are at the expense of some of Reynolds’s earlier career choices.)  While everyone else in the film is taking things very seriously, as characters in comic book films tend to do, Deadpool is pointing out all of the clichés and even the occasional plot hole.  When Cable (Josh Brolin), a cyborg warrior from the future, offers up a hasty explanation for why he can’t just use time travel to solve all of his problems, Deadpool dismisses it as “lazy writing.”

With the monster success of Wonder Woman, Infinity War, and Black Panther, Deadpool is the hero that we now need.  I mean, let’s be honest.  Comic books movies can be a lot of fun and, right now, we’re living in the golden age of super hero cinema.  At the same time, these films can occasionally get a little bit pompous.  Think about the unrelenting grimness of the DC films.  Think about all the sturm und drang that made up the undeniably effectively ending of Infinity War.  It in no way detracts from those films to say that Deadpool’s refusal to take either himself or the movie too seriously often feels like a breath of fresh air.  Deadpool is the one hero who is willing to say to the audience, “Yes, it’s all ludicrous and silly and occasionally a little bit lazy.  Isn’t it great?”

And yet, even with all that in mind, Deadpool 2 has a surprisingly big heart.  Even while it encourages us to laugh as its excesses, the sequel makes clear that it has a bit more on its mind than the first film.  Deadpool 2‘s plot deals with the efforts of both Deadpool and Cable to track down an angry mutant who goes by the somewhat regrettable name of Firefist (Julian Dennison).  Cable has come from the future to kill Firefist and prevent him from eventually destroying the world with his anger.  As for Deadpool, he feels that the spirit of someone he loved wants him to save Firefist.  As for Firefist himself, he’s an escapee from the Essex Home For Mutant Rehabilitation, a Hellish orphanage where the hypocritical headmaster and his perverted staff attempt to torture young mutants into being normal human beings.  The parallel to conversion therapy is an obvious one and there’s always just enough outrage underneath the film’s humor.

Deadpool 2 is a fast-moving and quick-witted sequel and Ryan Reynolds is, once again, perfect in the role of the demented lead character.  The jokes are nonstop and fortunately, so is the action.  There’s a lengthy fight between Cable and Deadpool that’s destined to go down as a classic.  Another exciting scene opens with parachutes and ends with … well, I can’t tell you.  I won’t spoil it, beyond to say that sometimes, being a hero is all about good luck.  Deadpool 2 is an ultra-violent, ultra-profane action-comedy with a heart of iron pyrite.  It’s not a film to take the kids too.  Deadpool himself points that out.  (He also points out that the babysitter is probably stoned by now.)  However, Deadpool also says that this sequel is a film about family and, amazingly enough, it turns out that he’s not lying.

So far, 2018 has been the year of the comic book movie and Deadpool 2 is a welcome addition.

Film Review: Killer Island (dir by Alyn Darnay)


Welcome to paradise!

In this case, paradise is North Captiva Island, which is located just offshore in the Gulf of Mexico.  It’s a beautiful location, a great place to both take a vacation and perhaps even solve a murder!

In Killer Island, Mike (Brian Gross) and Ashley (Barbie Castro) have come to Captiva Island for a variety of reason.  They’ve come for a vacation and they’ve come to work on their struggling marriage.  Ashley has memories of growing up on the island and issues from the past that she needs to deal with.  And Mike … well, Mike really wants to go fishing.  Fortunately, their friend Jim Ross (Jordi Vilasuso) has a very nice boat.

Jim also has a nephew.  Johnny (Miguel Fasa) is the handyman at the local resort.  He’s always polite and he’s a good worker.  Still, it shouldn’t take long for most viewers to suspect that Johnny might have some issues.  His constantly blood-shot eyes give hint to the fact that Johnny doesn’t get much sleep.  As he explains it at one point, he has dreams and they’re not good ones.  Johnny has a complicated history and two women have recently vanished on the island…

When Ashley finds a broken anklet on a dock, she takes it back to her room.  The locals tell her that people are losing stuff on the island all the time and that it’s probably no big deal.  “Finders keepers,” they tell her.  Ashley just likes it because the words “Hope” and “Believe” are inscribed on each side.  But when Johnny sees the anklet in Ashley’s bedroom, he freaks out.

Of course, Johnny isn’t the only person on the island with something to hide and nothing, not even murder, is as simple or cut-and-dried as it seems.  How far are people willing to go to protect their secrets?

Now, I have to admit that I do have a bias when it comes to reviewing this film.  See, my dream vacation would involve not only going to a beautiful location but also getting to solve a mystery while I was there.  I’m sure I’m not alone in that.  Who doesn’t love the idea of escaping everyday life and getting to examine clues and speculate on motives while relaxing on the beach or exploring a tropical paradise?  Though the film’s cast does a good job, Captiva Island really is the star of the film.  It’s a visually stunning location and the film takes full advantage of it, with the camera swooping over the beaches and focusing on people discussing murder and mystery while the tide comes in behind them.  Director Alyn Darnay and cinematographer Jon Schellenger do a good job of capturing the sunny beauty of the island.

As for the plot itself, it’s enjoyably melodramatic.  Almost everyone has something that they’re hiding.  Some guilty people are easy to spot while others hide their villainy quite well.  It’s a nicely acted mystery, with Brian Cross and Barbie Castro making a believable and sympathetic married couple.  Miguel Fasa steals the show, turning the unstable Johnny into a character who is both frightening and occasionally even sympathetic.  If you’ve enjoyed Barbie Castro’s previous “killer” films (like Patient Killer, Boyfriend Killer, and Girlfriend Killer), you will definitely enjoy this one as well!

Killer Island will be available on VOD on May 25th..