1980’s Don’t Go In The House is one of the many “Don’t” films to come out in the 70s and 80s.  These films all had titles that warned viewers not to do something.  Don’t Answer The Phone!  Don’t Stand Near The Window!  Don’t Go To Sleep!  Don’t Go Into The Woods…Alone!  Don’t Go In The House!

And I have to admit that whenever I come across one of these titles, my initial response is to get a little offended because I don’t like being told what to do.  A grindhouse movie about me would be called Don’t Give Lisa Orders.  Seriously, you’re going to tell me not to go into the house?  I’m going not only going to go into the house but I’m also going to stay for however long I feel like staying.  If you don’t like it, buy a new house.

But, that being said, these Don’t titles do make it very easy for a lazy reviewer.  A title like Don’t Go In The House practically invites a critic to be snarky.  “Don’t go in the house?  How about don’t watch the fucking movie?”

Seriously, it’s fun!

But, at the same time, that’s a bit unfair to Don’t Go In The House.  As far as crazed serial killer films go, Don’t Go In The House is one of the most disturbingly effective entries in the genre.  Dan Grimaldi (who later played Patsy Parisi on The Sopranos) stars as Donny Kohler.  Shy and awkward, Donny lives in a dilapidated mansion with his mother.  When Donny was a child, his mother’s favorite punishment was to burn him and, as a result, Donny has grown up both fearing and loving fire.

Though Donny is obviously disturbed from the first minute we see him, it’s not until his mother dies that the true extent of Donny’s madness becomes apparent.  Now living alone in that huge house, Donny starts to hear whispering voices.  The voices tell him to “master the flame.”  Soon, Donny is luring victims into his house, where he chains them up in a specially made room and uses a flame thrower to set them on fire…

AGCK!

Seriously, this movie is soooooooo disturbing!  Not only is the film full of ominous atmosphere but Dan Grimaldi gives an all-too realistic performance in the role of Donny.  Much like Nicholas Worth in Don’t Answer The Phone, Grimaldi turns Donny into an all too familiar monster.  The fact of the matter is that we’ve all known a potential Donny.  Don’t get paranoid?  Well, that’s next to impossible after you watch a movie like Don’t Go In The House.

I also have to say that I have never actually seen anyone burned alive, though, when I was nine, I did see my Dad accidentally set himself on fire.  (Before anyone freaks out, he did that whole drop and roll thing or whatever it is and he was absolutely fine.)  That said, the immolation scenes in Don’t Go In The House felt totally and completely authentic.  They were pure nightmare fuel, truly some of the most disturbing scenes that I have ever seen.

Am I recommending Don’t Go In The House?  I don’t know.  It’s thoroughly unpleasant but, at the same time, it’s a very well-made film and surprisingly well-acted film.  And, despite being about a serial killer and featuring very graphic violence, the film itself is always on the side of the victims.  No attempt is made to make Donny into some sort of Hannibal Lecterish antihero (from the minute we first meet him until the film’s final scene, Donny is presented as being a total loser) and, as a result, Don’t Go In The House emerges as a grindhouse film that has a stronger moral center than most mainstream features.

But my God, is it ever disturbing!  I saw the film once and that was more than enough for me.  If you’re a fan of grindhouse and exploitation films, Don’t Go In The House is a film that you’re going to have to see eventually.  If you’re like me, you’ll probably end up watching it through your fingers.

Seriously, don’t underestimate the disturbing experience of watching Don’t Go In The House.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ghG04u2jNoI