Tag Archives: Jersey Shore Shark Attack

10 Good Things That Lisa Marie Saw On TV In 2012

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Someday, I want to have my own tv network.  I’ll call it Lisa Marie Television (or LMTV for short) and it’ll be like Lifetime but with the Lisa Marie difference.  What’s the Lisa Marie difference?  Sweetheart, if you have to ask, you’ll never know.  El. Oh. El.

Anyway, as I wait for that day to come, I’m going to continue my series of posts on my favorites of 2012 by telling you about some of the best things that I saw on television over the course of the previous year:

1) SyFy Movies On Saturday

For me, one of the highlights of 2012 has been meeting and getting to know the Snarkalecs on twitter.  Who are the Snarkalecs?  We’re just a group of very witty people who are capable of appreciating films like Two-Headed Shark Attack and Arachnoquake.  Every Saturday night, we watch and live tweet whatever’s playing on the SyFy network.  It’s the perfect way to end the week.  My favorite SyFy film of 2012?  Jersey Shore Shark Attack.

2) The Basic Lupine Urology episode of Community

A great crime has occurred at Greendale Community College.  A yam has been callously destroyed and the study group is going to find out who was responsible and make sure the perpetrator is punished to the full extent of the law.  This spot-on perfect parody of Law and Order was one of the highlights of Community’s third season.  Donald Glover and Danny Pudi were simply adorable playing good cop/bad cop.

3) Joe Manganiello and Alexander Skarsgard on True Blood

The latest season of True Blood may have been uneven but whenever Alexander Skarsgard or Joe Manganiello showed up on-screen, the show was perfect (especially if they happened to be naked at the time).

4) South Park

As always.  This year highlights have included the classic anti-bullying episode and the annual Halloween episode.

5) Survivor: Philippines

The previous season of Survivor was one of the best, featuring truly interesting competitors like Jonathan Penner, Lisa Whelchel, Abi-Marie, and Malcolm.  Perhaps best of all, the season ended with the most deserving survivor winning the million bucks.

6) Clint Eastwood’s Chair Speech

A lot of very snide comments have been made about Eastwood’s speech at the Republican National Convention but, personally, I think it was brilliant political theater.  Even better, his two main points — that the President is essentially an empty suit and the Vice President is a jackass — are looking more and more true with each passing day.

7) The Joe Biden/Paul Ryan Vice Presidential Debate

Speaking of great political theater…. The 2012 Presidential election was dominated by debates but there’s only one that was truly memorable and it was the Vice Presidential debate between Joe Biden and Paul Ryan.  While Paul Ryan talked about disaster in his overly serious grad student way, Joe Biden grinned like an aging serial killer deep in the throes of senility.  This was less a political debate and more a case of performance art.

8) The London Olympics

I loved watching the London Olympics this year and not just because of the Fab Five, either.  The Danny Boyle-directed opening ceremonies were amazing to watch and I had fun going on twitter to ridicule NBC’s hilariously bad coverage of the games.

9) Liz & Dick on Lifetime

Oh, c’mon — it was fun!

10) The Office Made A Comeback…Sorta

After one of the worst seasons in the history of primetime television, The Office has redeemed itself slightly with its current (and final) season.  Even Catherine Tate has become tolerable.

Tomorrow, I’ll continue my look back at the past year with a list of my 10 favorite novels of 2012.

What Lisa Marie Watched Last Night: Jersey Shore Shark Attack (dir. by John Shepphird)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

On Friday night, I saw Moonrise Kingdom.  As our own Leon the Duke explained in his own review on this very site, Moonrise Kingdom is a thought-provoking, relentlessly quirky little film from Wes Anderson.  It’s a film that makes you think and, as a result, come Saturday, I was in the mood to watch something that required absolutely no thought at all.  Luckily, SyFy was willing to help me out by showing an original film called Jersey Shore Shark Attack.

Why Was I Watching It?

I’d been meaning to watch a SyFy film for a while, mostly because my friend Kelly Thul always provides the most interesting twitter commentary on them.  When I saw that something called Jersey Shore Shark Attack was apparently playing on the channel, there was no way I couldn’t watch it.  After all, my BFF Evelyn refers to me as L-Wowww.  I used to call her Evooki but, after seeing Jersey Shore Shark Attack, her new name is Nooki.

What’s It About?

It’s holiday weekend on the Jersey Shore.  Preppies are uncomfortably mingling with Guidos, Joey Fatone is scheduled to give a concert, and greedy mayor Paul Sorvino is greedily dreaming of the money that will be made.  The only thing could ruin the holiday fun would be if a bunch of sharks suddenly showed up and decided to attack the Jersey shore.

Which is exactly what happens.

Fortunately, when the greedy Mayor refuses to close down the beach, there are a few Guidos who are willing to do the right thing.  The Complication (Jeremy Luc) and his friends Paulie Balzac (Daniel Booko), Donnie (Joey Russo), J-Moni (Alex Mauriello), and BJ (Audi Resendiz) take it upon themselves to battle the sharks.  However, the Complication’s ex, Nooki (Melissa Molinaro), has defiantly gone sailing with a bunch of preppies and now finds herself stranded at sea, surrounded by circling sharks…

What Worked?

A lot of people are probably online right now talking about how “stupid” and how “bad” this movie was but you know what?  I loved it.  This movie was a lot of fun and, like the best film parodies, it was very smart about being stupid.  Let’s put it like this — if you’re criticizing this film for having silly dialogue, terrible special effects, and bad acting, you’re missing the point.

Add to that, the acting isn’t that bad.  The film’s stars do a good job at capturing the “personas” of their Jersey Shore counterparts and I would even go so far as to compare this movie to the classic South Park episode “It’s a Jersey Thing.”

Plus, Tony Sirico’s in it and he gets to go all Robert Shaw and deliver a half-crazed monologue about shark attacks.

Plus, there’s a reporter who says things like, “Stay away from the pier, yo!”

Plus, Joey Fatone’s in it!  And he gets eaten!

What’s not to love?

What Didn’t Work?

It all worked, dammit!

“Oh my God!  Just like me!” Moments

I’m Italian (well, a fourth-Italian) and I don’t swim either.   (Though I certainly don’t mind getting wet…)

Lessons Learned:

It’s a Jersey thing.